Helllllo. Can you believe it’s the end of the year and the last of my reviews for 2024? Don’t panic! I will have so many more for you in 2025. I have decided to continue movie reviews AND book reviews. I know, you didn’t know I was so kind. Well, surprise.
Have a safe New Year by watching some of these movies and kiss 2024 goodbye.
THE RENTAL (2020)
Written: Dave Franco, Joe Swanberg, Mike Demski
Directed: Dave Franco
Run time: 1 hour, 28 mins
Rated: R
Free: No Streaming: Netflix
Synopsis: Two couples go on a weekend getaway to the perfect isolated beach house. The only things in their way are secrets and their survival.
Pros: the minimalism of the setting, dialogue, etc.
Cons: for once, the movie could have been a bit longer
Most memorable scene: any time the dog was onscreen; he was adorable.
Thoughts: Jeremy Allen White and Alison Brie can do no wrong. Both of their character’s desperation is so palpable. Simplistic but add in social commentary and technology use makes this a definite recommend.
Rating: 10/10
BRIGHTBURN (2019)
Written: Brian and Mark Gunn
Directed: David Yarovesky
Run time: 1 hour, 30 mins
Rated: R
Free: No Streaming: Starz
Synopsis: What happens when a well-known superhero grows up and is not so … well, heroic?
Pros: the kills were insanely great, and the casting was perfect.
Cons: literally nothing
Most memorable scene: the Uncle and his jaw but really any kill
Thoughts: Where do I even begin!? What an interesting concept and exceptional execution. I wish there would be a sequel but I do not see it happening. A MUST watch, not a definite.
Rating: 12/10 IT’S THAT GOOD!
DON’T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS (1984)
Written: Derek Ford and Alan Birkinshaw
Directed: Edmund Purdom
Run time: 1 hour, 26 mins
Rated: R
Free: Plex
Synopsis:A killer is on the loose and you’re safe as long as you haven’t seen his face or are dressed as Santa.
Pros: boobs and great, silly kills
Cons: if you don’t like campy, it’s a con
Most memorable scene: the urinal scene
Thoughts: Absolutely the silliest movie ever and I loved every second of it. Everything was goofy but in a way you wanted to see the next scene to see if it can top the last. The kills though, they were some of the cheesiest I have seen.
Rating: 9/10
THE MACHINE GIRL (2008)
Written and directed by: Noboru Iguchi
Run time: 1 hour, 36 mins.
Rated: Not rated
Free: Tubi
Synopsis: A young girl loses her brother to gang violence and must even the score. When she joins forces with another victim’s family, things get a little more… bloody.
Pros: every kill. Every. Single. One.
Cons: None
Most memorable scene: “Honey! I need more conditioner.” Machine Girl - “Here’s your conditioner!”
Thoughts: What a great way to spend an hour and a half. The kills were so over the top as was 99.99% of the movie. A definite movie to have as a comfort movie for bad days.
Rating: 10/10
DEAD SUSHI (2012)
Written and directed by: Noboru Iguchi
Run time: 1 hour, 32 mins
Rated: Not rated
Free: Tubi
Synopsis: An embarrassed daughter of a sushi maker must lead a band of misfits away from deadly sushi and the havoc they reek.
Pros: 100% the cheesiest dialogue I have ever heard. And sushi nunchucks.
Cons: anyone who is knife-phobic
Most memorable scene: “Violence is never pretty.” - proceeds to kick everyone’s ass.
Thoughts: Pure unadulterated absurdism. Talking sushi, sushi egg bullying, squid sushi fucking (that’s not a mistake). What’s not to love?! And singing sushi.
Rating: 10/10
Comments