Today is a bit different, friends. These are all reviews I have previously done but feel like need a bit of light shone on them.
If you haven’t heard the scuttlebutt, Peter Caffrey has written a retelling of sorts of THE CANTERBURY TALES but his is titled, THE CUNTERBURY TALES and if you know Peter, you know it’s going to be a riot. But it’s not a selfish work, not even close. He wrote and will be printing only 69 (yes, ha) copies. That’s it. No more. No less. No eBook of it. And it’s for a good cause, the Lingen Davies Cancer Fund.
Find out more about the Fund and how to snag a copy of the book below. And enjoy some reviews of his others I have loved.
HEE HAW
By: Peter Caffrey
I am at a loss for words with this story. If you know me, you know that doesn’t happen often. I finished HEE HAW three days ago and I still am processing the thoughts and emotions from it. It’s Caffrey’s best and it’s going to be hard to top. But he will. I know him. His writing is so gotdamn underrated and it’s upsetting.
(I’m using Peter’s synopsis because it’s perfect) - When Colin, a middle-aged fantasist and loner who lives with his parents, snatches a girl he finds in the woods, things quickly start to unravel. While his intention is to act out his most depraved fantasies, something about the girl unnerves him. Who is the mysterious Alice, and why does she make him feel so uneasy?
It’s psychological, and extreme, but real life and brutal. It’s unreliable without being unreliable. It’s brilliant and needed but I fear it will be overlooked.
The reader is forced into the pit of madness and pit of despair as much as Colin, the main character and it’s unnerving.
A DOUBLE OFF THE CHARTS RECOMMEND 20/5.
CANNIBAL SHE-DEVILS OF THE UMPOPO DELTA
By: Peter Caffrey
When four missionaries and one guide go to try to save the heathens, one missionary shows he isn’t to be trusted around children. Because of that, the women of the Umpopo Delta must put them through a trial… and the numbers dwindle with failures. Who survives? Caffrey, not surprisingly, mixes grotesque with dark humor and has a winner with this short. (Listen to the audio, trust me.)
A HIGHLY RECOMMEND 5/5.
Nympho Nurses Ton-Up Terror
By: Peter Caffrey
Peter is a genius. The man can write poetry, novels that feels like Waiting For Godot, and absolute full-on insanity like Nympho Nurses Ton-Up Terror and friends, you are in for a treat.
The gals at St. Hilda’s Hospital just want their yearly motorcycle club ride to go off without a hitch. Fanny Batter, Dawn Double Dee, and Ginger Bush have been looking forward to this but when Dr. Dick Thrust tries to ruin it, they are all in for a rude awakening… a sexual awakening. The military, in all of their genius, is transporting a sex plague chemical and well… it doesn’t make it to the intended recipients. Who will survive the shag of the century? Tune in and find out.
I listened and read this one. (Twice, it’s that good.) Peter has that perfect British accent that just lulls you to sleep until he starts talking about glistening vaginas and monster penises. I cackled out loud so many times during it, I’m telling you though, listen to it. It’s Garth Marenghi meets Grindhouse Quention Tarantino and I’m here for every word. Love it and Caffrey’s style.
5/5 stars.
DOG FOOD
By: Peter Caffrey
David Miller is coming back from a holiday in Portugal with his family. As David goes through the passport checkpoint, his passport is confiscated and placed in a red bag. Then a bald man walks him to a “interview room” and the madness truly begins. Is David losing his mind? Has he ever been sane? Why won’t he spit in this kids mouth?! David is definitely having a no good, rotten bad day.
As I was reading this, something hit me. Is this inspired by THE TRIAL by Kafka? Why am I getting Waiting for Godot vibes? Well, I was right! The lose of humanity, dignity, and the gaslighting of David’s memory really fucked with me. I’m easy to gaslight, ask my 5-year-old and having to watch this character slowly unravel into madness was heartbreaking. You question just as much as David does. So, while not your typical horror story, I would die on a hill saying this is more horror than most of what I read.
I have had this one as an eBook for months and was too dumb to read it until I picked up the physical. It comes in at 69 (ha, look I’m still a 13-year-old kid deep down) pages and what Peter packs into this is nothing short of amazing.
Please don’t be like me and sit on this novella. I’m going to reread it and tab it… it’s that fucking worth it.
10/5 stars
LIKE A TRAMP YELLING AT TRAINS AND OTHER UNPOETIC NOISES
By: Peter Caffrey
Peter Caffrey is known for his bizarro and brilliant works, a personal favorite is DOG FOOD. But his newest is a collection of poems in LIKE A TRAMP YELLING AT TRAINS AND OTHER UNPOETIC NOISES. Let’s look at a few of my favorites.
Honeycomb - there are lines from books, poems, and movies that are etched on my soul. Carved deep and beautifully scabbed and this entire fucking poem is now a forever part of my soul. We have all been there and maybe that’s what makes it hurt more. I’m obsessed with this one and will harass everyone I like about this.
The Worst in Me - brutal, brutal, brutal. What Caffrey does with imagery and forcing you to revisit moments in your past hurts. But Christ, if it isn’t cathartic too.
Dead Exciting - Two words… new kink? Who knows. But I cackled at the end of this one.
Shared Guilt - This one made me cackle at the end. Full on hysterics. Maybe because men are the best at finding loopholes?
There are over 20 poems in this collection AND they are free. Here’s my hope, I hope we get more. This is a beautifully written collection and one I also hope will be in paperback (hint, hint). I feel there is a lot of honesty and real life experience in these and it makes me love them more.
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