REFLECTIONS
“I’m done” she finally said. After an eternity of staring into my soul, her eyes locked on mine, two words whispered with such finality that I knew we were through. “I’ve failed you,” I replied, nodding. “No matter how hard I tried. I failed.” “Yes, you failed us. Just like all the others before. You failed.” I nodded, miserable in my acceptance but accepting all the same. “It’s been long enough. I have done all I could to better myself, to prove myself, to change and adapt, to overcome, to be sincere, kind, delicate, compassionate, nurturing, mature, and friend to all.” She continued, the quietest flicker of venom in her voice. “I have given everything I could give. I have had everything stripped of me over and over again. I have been abused and demeaned, mistreated, and humiliated. Lied to, led on, broken, and shattered. And yet, here I am, once more standing here, attempting to try again..?” She sneered. Her eyes cut into my mine, fire flashing from the depths. “And for what? To be cast aside yet again? To be discarded after all I’ve given? To be deemed lacking and unworthy once more?” Fury rose within her tone, anger rising and giving voice to decades of buried pain and anguish. Wound on top of open wound, festering through the ages with every new blow to her psyche, to her heart, to her very soul. I nodded. Tears blinding my eyes as I struggled to meet hers. The anger was palpable in the air. Tension thick as we stared at each other. “I’m sorry,” I struggled to say, “I just thought if we kept going, if we tried again, that maybe, one day, someday it might work out.” “You’re always sorry, aren’t you? You’re pathetic. Can’t you see that by now? You’re not wanted. You’ve never been wanted, from the time of your conception, you’ve been nothing, were born nothing. You will never be anything more than what you are, discarded remnants of an unwanted interaction.” “I know but I thought if I tried harder, if I could just make them see…” I cut off beneath the weight of her gaze. “Make them see what?” She questioned, the rage flashing on her face now. “See what? How pathetic you are?” “I’m done. This conversation is over. I gave you a chance, we gave you many chances. And we are done.” She nodded over her shoulder at the many faces of me nodding back. “It’s time to go. And for fucks sake, don’t fuck this up like absolutely everything else in your life.” Her gaze drifted down to the sink, where the blade rested, glinting in the sterile light. “I’m sorry.” I said again, to her, to all of the versions of us that I failed. I lifted the blade. My eyes locked on hers and I slid it across the flesh beneath my neck. Buttery, blinding heat then warm crimson tears followed the trail as I severed my ties to this world, once and for all. Just before I let go, I met her eyes once more. In the mirror, she smiled briefly, peace finally hers, as our body crashed to the floor.
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