The Mort Report!
Book Reviews by Mort Stone
12/16/2023
IN EXCESS OF DARK
By Red Lagoe
“It’s no surprise to me
I am my own worst enemy.
‘Cause every now and then
I kick the living shit outta me.”
MY OWN WORST ENEMY by Lit
This turned out to be stranger than I thought, but ended up being better than I expected.
This is a brooding story, very dark and gloomy, and I will admit that I was not as motivated at the halfway point to finish the story, but damn, when it picked up, I was invested right to the end.
I feel like I can’t say too much about this story because I really liked the angle it took, and I found it unique in its own way.
So, I am writing a short review and saying that this is a very atmospheric horror story and I think the readers who stick with it will reap the rewards. It might be emotionally draining, though, so prepare yourself accordingly.
5 STARS!
CHASING THE DRAGON
BY MARK TOWSE
RELEASING FROM EERIE RIVER IN MARCH OF 2024
Towse went full-on Shrek with this one, because not unlike the beloved ogre feels about himself, this story has layers. Like an onion. Please keep in mind that I did not compare their looks in any way. I am not cruel enough to do that to the big green guy.
Look at the onion as it sits there. It gives you the impression that it is ready to eat, but it doesn’t dictate what it should be cooked with. And as you look at the cover of this book, you might think to yourself that it is a superhero, cartoon-ish story, but you have no idea what is waiting inside.
Take that onion and peel back that first layer. Looks nice, fresh and wholesome. And when you start to read this story, you find a guy who wants to be a hero, who hates to see the chaos around him and wants to bring back hope. You know, like you’re listening to Bonnie Tyler’s HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO in that first part.
Peel back the next layer of that onion and the smell hits you, but you manage to keep it out of your eyes. And you soon realize that this guy in the story is driven by more than just the desire to be a good guy. And the soundtrack shifts to Rev Theory’s VOICES. But there’s this glimmer of hope that comes through.
Next layer gone, and the onion is getting smaller. Of course, at this stage he will meet the unattainable woman of the night. The forbidden love in the hopeless situation they find themselves. And the song changes to something like the Arctic Monkeys’ CRAWLING BACK TO YOU—you know, there’s a sexiness competing with the darkness.
Yank back the next layer, and it squirts you right in the eye in the only way an onion can take revenge. As the tears flow, you realize that you have reached the point in the story where…for a lack of a better description, shit becomes real.
Really, really real.
Because we have moved so far past that comedic lightheartedness of the story, you can’t even remember what was so funny to begin with. Which brings us to the next song on our soundtrack. Architects’ ANIMALS catches the shift in the mood fairly well.
And as you pull back the next layer of the onion, you see a worm has spoiled the onion that you thought was so beautiful when it sat there. And the much expected pushback comes at this point. Let’s change the soundtrack to Fall Out Boy’s MY SONGS KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN THE DARK.
This leaves you with one of two options: Get rid of the onion you’d spent so much time on, or just see it as a protein bonus. And I can’t make this choice for you, because the final quarter of the story might surprise you. But I will leave you with a final song: Phil Collins’ IN THE AIR TONIGHT, but you have the option of listening to the version by the band State of Mine.
This one surprised me. A lot. While I liked most of what I have read by this author, this one blew me away. It is hands down the best thing I have read by him so far. The mix of genres does not interfere in any way with the storyline, instead, it complements it and gives it a natural flow.
Most of all, I am not quite done with the onion yet, because as you peel back the layers from comedy to crime to mystery to romance to thriller to noir to drama to horror, this story will give you more than you expect.
And at the very core, where the worm is also crying because of all the onion juices it finds itself in, there is a very deep look psychological damage caused by abuse and trauma. And you will feel with this one, so be prepared.
There is not really an audience I can pinpoint for this one, but because of the darkness and violence that ensues through the latter part of the story, I would suggest horror, thriller, fantasy, and action readers should give this one a go.
Very easy 5 Stars!
12/09/2023
HOUSE SQUATCH
BY BRIAN BERRY
“Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Berry, you're the best”
NOBODY DOES IT BETTER – Carly Simon
I actually have no idea what to say in this review that will make it unique and original.
When it comes to novelizations of B-movie horror, Brian G. Berry stands head and shoulders above the rest. Much like a Squatch. Except that he shaved this morning so nobody will mistake him for a House Squatch.
Or will they…?
As with the other novelizations he seems to be pumping out like a bodybuilder on steroids, he flexes his visual vernacular with visionic vitality and virtue, without using any big words.
This book is exactly what you think it is – meant to entertain more than challenge, if you are willing to take it for what it is, and you enjoy B-movies, this should entertain you to no end.
5 Stars for entertainment value.
12/02/2023
HEAVY OCEANS
BY TYLER JONES
Tyler Jones is a new read for me and I decided to go into this one blind.
I will start off by saying that this author’s writing style flows really well, and it made me curious to read more by him.
This is a story about a man who visits his brother in Hawaii and there is an incident of violence that changes the trajectory of their lives. As they find themselves on a fishing boat with a captain and his son, this starts getting weird–and cosmic horror ensues.
For my personal taste, this story was a miss. It was not because the author did anything wrong or badly, I just had some trouble wrapping my head around something. I tend to have a very logical mind and sometimes I just struggle with handling something that should not make sense in our “normal” world. At around the halfway point, something happens and my mind kept struggling with accepting the image.
I think that a lesser writer would have lost me completely as a reader here–again, because of my personal taste–so I can’t fault Mr. Jones on this story. The characters have development, though I can also see that some people might want more of a back story on Eric and Jamie, but there is enough said to read some things between the lines.
Readers who enjoy cosmic/creature horror should snag this one, but also those readers who might like a little psychedelic imagery should enjoy the narrative.
3 Stars
11/25/2023
SPLATTERPUNK'S BASEMENT OF HORRORS
EDITED BY JACK BANTRY
The door opens slowly…creaaaaakkkkkkk…that fucker needs oil.
Descending into darkness, I make my way to the bottom and pull the cord hanging from the ceiling. A light comes on. And there it is…my worst nightmare…my bank manager and an IRS auditor, with stacks and stacks of papers in the EXPLAIN basket, discussing how we can get through everything in time for me to go to the DMV.
Different strokes.
Jack Bantry has brought together a bunch of really good authors to tell you scary stories in this charity anthology. I was not invited, so you can relax, they are better than the beginning of this review.
The strangest thing about this was just how diverse the stories turned out to be. And I’m not only referring to the ideas, but the writing itself. If you go from Brian Keene’s story (the final one) to Candace Nola’s story, they are worlds apart.
FRIDAY NIGHT IN DAMASCUS is absolutely horrifying and I would encourage you to read the story notes to really feel the clench in your sphincter, while SKINS is art. Yes, it is a fucked-up canvas, but…
Let me try to put it this way. I am not a fan of abstract art. I have neither the culture nor the knowledge to “get it”. I don’t take anything away from the artists, but I am just too dense. However, I was in a sanatorium once, and there was this piece of art against the wall, completely abstract, however I not only knew exactly what it was meant to be, but actually felt the sadness. 100% true, this part.
So read SKINS with an open mind, because there’s a dreamlike quality to the story that says so much by saying so little. Well done, my friend. You should be proud of that one.
But, people, I do not really care what people think is the best story in a collection like this, but the collaboration between Strand and Nelson had me on the floor, and I think the best line in the book comes from that story, but you will have to read it yourself to really appreciate why I say that. The build up to this line is pure genius:
“So I took a picture of my own dick.”
I am going to rate this one 4.5 stars, simply because there was one story that really didn’t work for me, though it has more to do with personal taste than the writing.
Please, people, we are all looking for value for money, and you will get it here, plus the money is going for a good and necessary cause, so please support this one.
11/18/2023
OLD TOO SOON
By Brian Bowyer
“Apathy
The chosen way to be
Blindly look the other way
While you waste away with me”
PRICE TO PLAY – Staind
Oh, boy, this one is going to ruffle some feathers!
What if…?
Thomas Scholl
Belgica Antarctica
Oymyakon
Harvey Kennedy
Genomericophobia
I want to start by saying that I absolutely love this author’s style of writing – simple and straight-forward, in the best possible way. And then I am going to go off on a tangent first, so the start of this review will make sense.
There are two words that any good author should utilize when writing fiction: What if? It should be the foundation of any original story idea, because we all know an idea alone does not a story make. We need to build on it, to work out all the kinks, to show the reader your vision, to make them buy into something that may not even really exist and, most of all, to make them care.
This story is a rather bleak look at the future of What if…?
I may sound like an old man when I say this, but a lot of things in the world we live in does not make sense to me anymore. Where are we heading, as a species, if we look at the world today?
I had an interesting discussion with my mother-in-law a few weeks ago – no, this is not a beginning of a joke, we actually get along really well – about the internet and information being so freely available these days. We were talking about libraries and how we actually had to do things from our side to get information. And she said something very true:
“Today’s children have nothing left to discover.”
No, I am not inviting a philosophical debate here, but think about it: Just about anything they want to know, they can ask a small device that they carry with them (in some cases literally ask, they don’t even have to type) and the answer is provided.
And this sets a very dangerous precedent, doesn’t it?
One of the most upsetting things I’ve heard in years was a twenty-year-old who made the statement:
“General knowledge has become redundant.”
Ooh, man, I am getting hot under the collar just typing that shit, and it is probably best not to elaborate on why this pisses me off so much. But, I am also not blind, and I can see why she so erroneously might think so.
Do you agree?
Well, l am going back to the beginning of my review. Who, what, and why did I type them? Because, thanks to Google, as I sat down, I could find out the following:
Who was the world’s fastest yodeler
Which insect is endemic to Antarctica
What is the name of the coldest town in the world
Who invented the aglet? (Spoiler – it is also the person who invented the shoelace
How many people did I actually fool into trying to find the meaning of a made-up phobia when they saw the word
When I was a child, none of these questions would have been answered if I didn’t go to the library and did some research in actual, made-of-paper books. Hell, if I missed an episode of AIRWOLF on a Friday night, it was gone forever if somebody didn’t tape it on a videotape (and we were one of the only families who persisted with Betamax when all my friends had VHS players, because “everything is getting smaller, right?”), which also meant I had to avoid any spoilers until I could watch it at a friend’s house.
So, there is absolutely zero doubt that today’s children does not have a lack of information (although they might suffer from a lack of knowledge – can you remember the name of the coldest town in the world without scrolling back to what you’ve read less than a minute ago?), and if you take away their curiosity, what are you left with? They want to explore the unknown, far beyond what is thought of as decent, moral and every single thing we have worked toward as a species to improve ourselves.
And this makes the older generations ask:
Where will it all end? What are we going to be left with? What will become acceptable and everyday if we continue down this path?
What if…?
OLD TOO SOON takes a path in which this question is explored, and if you are anything like me, you will not really like the picture it is painting. Mostly because – I wouldn’t have thought so twenty years ago – it is probable that the world can actually degenerate into this nightmare.
So why do I say it will ruffle some feathers?
Well, think of all the shit kids (and adults) can do, and then make the main players in the story younger…
This was a difficult read for me. Very, very difficult. I have a son who is approaching his teens – it is not so far away anymore – and I have literal nightmares about what will become of him in this world. If there is only one thing I hope I can to achieve in my lifetime as a father, it would be for him to be empathetic to the people around him who rarely are, to not poison his soul and make him just another number in this life we find ourselves tumbling through.
Fuck, man, I want to avoid making him as cynical as I have become about so many things. In the end, I want him to be a better person than I am.
And it is a hard fucking road to travel, because the world messes with you any which way it can, so trying to teach him to stay calm and talk things through before reacting makes him a target. I just hope I can teach him the tools to come out the other side stronger.
Wow, this is getting very personal, my apologies, but I need to explain why reading this book turned out to be an unpleasant experience. I couldn’t completely detach, because my real life “what if’s” went nuts in my head. It touched me in some very unpleasant places in my mind and it left skid marks on my fears.
I am absolutely loathe to rate this book, because no matter what rating I choose, it will not reflect all the dimensions of my feelings.
So, this book is vile in many ways, but it is a story I will be able to recap in full ten years from now. It was brilliantly written in my opinion, yet the reading experience left an uncomfortable taste in my mouth.
Can I rate this in the middle?
Hell, no, because the author did his job.
Can I rate it full marks?
Hell, no, because I really did not like what it did to me inside.
I will recommend it to the following readers:
Lovers of transgressive fiction and stories that pushes the boundaries of morality, this is a must read for you.
People who feel they have no triggers and want something beyond blood and gore (which it does have, but the power of the story far exceeds the visual), this is a must read for you.
Horror lovers in general who want to be physically scared, this does not have the pace you might want.
People who want trigger warnings, please avoid this story at all costs, my little lamb.
If I am forced to rate this, I will give it 4 stars, because the experience of reading this story can’t be put into a single layer. I am warning you, though, this one will stick with you for better or for worse.
10/28/2023
HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE
BY FRANK EDLER
There is a British television show called COME DINE WITH ME. For those who are unfamiliar, five strangers get a chance to host a dinner party, each getting a different night of the week. They create their own menu with a starter, main and dessert, and plan their own entertainment for their evening. At the end of the night, the other four guests give them a secret score out of 10. At the end of the week, the person with the most points win a money prize.
The reason I am starting the review with this is because the wife and I, during our lunch break over the last week, watched it for the first time in years. And I realized something—they are doing reviews, giving compliments and critiques, sometimes deserved and sometimes not, about the night they had.
While I can understand they are competing for money, it always fascinates me to see that a nearly perfect night rarely gets more than 8 out of 10. You know, you might get a comment like:
“The starter was absolutely sublime. The mains were cooked perfectly, and the balance of the taste was absolutely spot on. During the entertainment, I was having the time of my life, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life. And that dessert! It was a little taste of heaven! However, the dessert portion was too big, and it was super creamy, so I ate too much and now I feel uncomfortable, but I am still going to rate the night a solid 8!”
Or, you get the other side, where people will say things like:
“I don’t like spicy food. They served a curry. So, I am going to rate them 5.”
I am waiting for the day when someone says:
“Well, I don’t eat sugar. And I am vegetarian. And because of my hypertension, I don’t really eat salt. Or anything that burns my mouth. The host tried to cater to my needs, but I found my food rather bland.”
Here’s what I am getting at:
Even the perfect thing can be criticized.
Not everything will fall into your taste or satisfy your personal opinions.
Some people are impossible to satisfy.
So, here’s the thing:
I rate according to how I feel. There are times when I have difficulty with it, because in the world we find ourselves, it is just so easy to say something that will offend someone. But I have adjusted my narrative, and there are two things readers (and writers) should know;
I don’t write bad reviews anymore. It doesn’t mean I am cheerleading all authors or that I promote everything I read, but if their story doesn’t work for me, I try to contact them privately about it.
I’ve had hamburgers that tasted perfect at the right time and I’ve had average steaks, so if I rate a book 5 stars, it means I enjoyed the experience at the time of reading it, regardless of what people might find critical about it. I don’t say the stories are perfect, just that I enjoyed it immensely, or that it made a great impression.
Wow, that’s a lot before I even get to the book, I know, but I’ve heard a few things recently that made me want to clarify this about my reviews.
Frank J. Edler is an author I’ve been in contact with for a few years and we get along really well. His work can be somewhat hard to define, because it might be horror-ish, bizarro-ish humor, but he tickles my funny bone (in a non-sexual way) most of the time.
Haunted Hamburger House is another book that is meant to entertain more than scare. You have a real estate agent who is trying to sell a dump that is (possibly) haunted; you have the paranormal investigators who want to make a reality show there with the host, psychic, sceptic and cameraman. Then you have the two mysterious men who are watching from the distance. And, not to spoil it for anybody, there’s this dumpster…
Putting aside some editing issues, this story came at the right time. We all need a break from extreme stuff from time to time, and this book was extremely entertaining, and it made me laugh. So, I am not going to recommend it to the horror readers who want to be scared or grossed out, but for those who want to laugh, this one ticks all the boxes on entertainment value.
5 Stars!
10/21/2023
DEAD END TOURS:
ST. RALPH'S HOSPITAL
By Ashley Lister
There once was a man named Lister,
Who wanted to date my sister…
And now I will stop and let this thing drop,
Because I don’t want to end this with ‘fist her’.
Well, well, well – this turned out to be my favorite read from this author so far.
In this story you can expect charlatans, murderers, fornicators and other people of ill repute, who get a little more than they bargained for with…well, about everything. And don’t forget a little history lesson in there as well.
I was attracted to this story because asylums are probably the scariest places you can find yourself, whether it is haunted or not. Because who is to say that it might not be contagious, or that something might happen that makes them close the doors behind you. Once you find yourself on the wrong side of that door, nothing you say will ever be believed, which means just about anything can be done to you.
And the food is horrible. I mean, hello, would investing in a little salt kill you? Would setting a timer…ahem, of course, this is all allegedly and has nothing to do with the evils in this story, just what I heard…from a friend…of a friend…um…
The art inside this book is also superb, so it is something to look forward to.
Recommended to horror fans in general.
4.5 Stars
10/15/2023
EXITS
Aron Beauregard-Carver Pike-Daniel Volpe-Rowland Bercy, Jr.
Four authors got together and created a podcast called Written in Red, where they talked about their writing journey so far, all the pitfalls and mistakes they have made, as well as what worked for them. It was a labor of love, something to help all the new, upcoming, struggling authors. It is well worth a listen, if you haven’t yet.
Their first obstacle they had to face was writing a promo for the show. You see, even though they were all making a name for themselves in the extreme and Splatterpunk horror genre, they were very different writers.
Carver’s idea started like this:
“When four breast…pardon me, best of friends, come together, it’s a bukakke party, but afterwards they discuss profound subjects and impart their wisdom like a cuckold-”
So, the guys stopped him there. He may know erotica, but they had to think about a bigger audience.
So, Rowland piped up:
“Four people in a room, all dudes…hot and sweaty, let uncle bareback teach you a thing or two, boys…”
So, the guys stopped him there. They all gave Carver a dirty look for sending Rowland’s mind in the wrong direction.
So, Aron said:
“Four dark minds entwine into a foggy union of depravity where blood and guts are not frowned upon, but at the very least, expected…”
So the guys stopped him there. What about the kids, Aron? No, no, not for cooking, dammit, for listening to the show!
So, Daniel decided to step in:
“Don’t say anything before we do the research. I discovered this site on the dark web…but don’t tell my wife. She still thinks there’s hope for me.”
Finally, Jack Bantry put his foot down and said,
“Guys, guys, I listen to your show. I LOVE your show almost as much as your writing, so I will do it. I will edit a book for you. We will release it as a limited-edition print, 100 copies only. No problem. But, please, just give me a moment so I can finish my shit in peace…please get out of my bathroom!”
Jack decided to go with Urban Legends as the theme.
Aron addressed his irrational fear of eating too much salt and dying from hypertension as a result.
Rowland addressed his irrational fear of impregnating a woman, because anything is possible in Nor’lins.
Carver addressed the trauma he suffered when he went to the drive-in and partook in cannibalism…allegedly.
Daniel addressed the camping trip he regretted never going on, because what are friends for, right?
*** ***
In all seriousness, these are four very good stories by four very talented writers, who are all super nice and supportive human beings, and great friends to have in the community.
Thank you so much for this gift, you guys, it means the world!
5 Stars!
10/07/2023
VANITY KILLS
By Erica Summers
It is not something I do consciously, but I tend to shy away from stories when I read the words “medical horror”. The reason is not that I have something against these stories, per se, but probably because I’ve been in the medical field for close to 30 years (bet you didn’t know that about me – and no, not going to elaborate on it) and reading horror is part of my escape.
So, I was a little reluctant to tackle this one, and I would have probably pushed it down on my TBR if I didn’t read another short story by this author that greatly impressed me. And I am going to start out by saying that this is an author to watch.
The premise is rather simple:
People with scars and disabilities enter a drug trail that might cure them.
If this had been another genre, that might have been enough, but the words “everything went exactly as planned” rarely makes its way into horror. So…
This story is actually based on the screenplay and movie OBSIDIAN which happened to be written and directed by the author herself, but without having to worry about budget, equipment, schedules, actors and fucking producers, it is a much clearer vision of what she had in mind.
All I can say is that this story is extremely well written, the development of characters should satisfy most readers, and the horror and gore elements are not toned down, but it does not really feel extreme, either.
Looking forward to watching Summers’ star rise, because she has the chops and only needs the audience.
5 Stars
DERAILED
By Erica Summers
When Summers feels like winters,
When cloudless skies start to rain,
When your personal trauma scars you,
Write some horror for the pain.
I know what you are thinking and you are right, a poet I am not. There’s more to it than making the final word in the second and fourth sentence rhyme. But there are two reasons why I started this review like that:
The first is that this story is best tackled blind. I can’t tell you more than what is in the blurb without spoiling something you should find out for yourself. There’s an accident and shit happens…
The second is that I felt really, really intimidated when I read this story. Damn, I can’t put words together like that. So, I decided to mention it in my very first review of her work – she’s better than me – so I don’t have to make myself say it every time I review her books. This author oozes talent.
Really good short story, brilliantly written.
Highly recommend it to horror fans.
5 STARS
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09/23/2023
MINE
BY L.M. KAPLIN
I will admit it: The cover got me.
And after reading it, I can confirm that it was perfect for this story.
Chandler is awkward, as you would expect any unemployed thirty-something who lives with his mother and is her full time caretaker. His voyeuristic tendencies from the safety of his home spins him into a wild fantasy world where he is more than what he can hope to be in real life.
And he is in love with his neighbor. His married-to-a-cop-and-has-a-kid neighbor, Samantha.
It is only a matter of time until things will spiral out of control and his mind will completely break from reality, especially now that he might lose her forever.
There are a number of surprising things about this story, but there are two things I need to highlight:
I actually felt a lot of sympathy for Chandler and, at times, were almost rooting for him.
That ending…man, that was the shit!
This was my first read of this author and he definitely has me interested in seeing what he will produce in the future. The character depth of this one is a big selling point and I can recommend it to horror fans in general. Not overly gory and I don’t think I would place it in the extreme category, though there was plenty of blood in the scenes that required it.
4.5 Stars
09/23/2023
LACUNA'S POINT
BY TIM MEYER
Have you heard of a band called Lacuna’s Coil?
It doesn’t really matter, because it has nothing to do with this story.
Lacuna’s Point is a place where people get mesmerized by the clock tower and disappear from the face of the earth. Two best friends go there and they are presumed dead, but after three years their parents get text messages and a photo with the clock tower in the background.
The parents goes in search of their missing children and suddenly finds themselves in a Twilight Zone-like situation. And, of course, there is a bad guy who happens to be the mayor of the town.
So, is there any hope left for the missing girls or do the parents find themselves lost to the world too?
It can be really tricky when it comes to balance, especially when you write a slow burn as this story turned out to be. Tim Meyer is a great writer and his character development in this one is superb. For the story itself, I can’t fault him on anything.
However, it felt a little too long. It might have to do with my personal taste changing over the last few years, especially with the volume of books (and reviews) waiting, that I am moving away from slow burns. This is also the reason I have been off thrillers for a while.
So, this is my advice to any readers who takes on this book:
If you are patient, you will be rewarded. But know that it is going to be a journey to reach your destination.
I am not going to be harsh on the author for the length of this novel and I am going to give it a solid 4 stars, for I probably would have abandoned it if the writing was not so good. Again, my personal taste, not the story.
Highly recommended to horror readers who loves the character development and appreciates the reward of a slow burn.
4 STARS
09/09/2023
THE HAUNTED HALLS
By Glenn Rolfe
Well...slap me with a wet fish and call me a merman...
I did not expect to like this book as much as I did.
'Haunted' whatever stories are not my favorite. After THE SHINING and THE AMITYVILLE HORROR in the 80's (I know there will be people screaming at me about THE HAUNTING AT HILL HOUSE, but that came to my attention later), these specific stories didn't do much for me anymore. Granted, every now and then a gem would pop up - movies, I know, but I rarely read these stories after the 80's - like GHOST SHIP or 13 GHOSTS, but they are few and far between.
So, when I read the blurb, I was thinking that this would be an inferior rehash of the Overlook Hotel. However, Glenn Rolfe came on my radar some months ago and I've been reading his work. And, Glenn, this is the first 5 star rating I'm giving, because you entertained the hell out of me with this one.
Even though some of the inspiration most definitely came from Stephen King, this story stood on its own two feet. Much more sexual and violent, but never solely reliant on shock factor, this haunted hotel story was a tense yet enjoyable breeze to get through. I'm willing to forgive some minor niggles, because they never got in the way for me - and this was a debut.
I don't know if I would have thought less of this story if I wasn't reluctant to begin with, but I had fun. You'll have to decide for yourself.
5 Stars
09/02/2023
THE MIDWIVES
By Duncan Ralston
Quality story. Quality writing.
What is a midwife - if you don't know, you are probably a man.
To certain rich people it could mean the second wife after he marries the third.
Some might even suggest Mike Tyson is going through a "Midwife cwisis" right now, which I find in really bad taste...funny, but not nice.
The answer is actually health professional workers who assist around childbirth. And there are women out there who would call childbirth "the most beautiful thing in the world".
Ladies, you are wrong. Giving birth is a miracle, but there ain't nothin' purdy 'bout it!
Guys, if you've never seen the process, keep it that way for as long as possible. Sure, support her, keep her calm, give her your hand to pulverize, but go through it while standing at her head. You might think you're tough, but once you've seen it with someone up to their elbows in vernix caseosa (Google that shit, man), you will never be able to un-see it. A bit traumatic, if you catch my drift....
Anyway, in this story there are five Midwives, who live on (and control) the island called Barrows Bay. Pst, I don't wanna give anything away, but think witchcraft, okay.
The oldest of them, Ruby Savage, has a son called Martin, who is a successful true crime writer. And, when one of the serial killers he wrote a book about - "Witch Hunter", who holds a grudge, escapes from the nuthouse, Martin finds himself between a rock and a hard place. You know, like bumping into your mother-in-law while running from the police.
Martin and his friend, Sheila, needs a place to hide, and while he hasn't been back in Barrows Bay for more than two decades, it's the only place they can think of.
But, alas, things are not as they seem on this island - Tum Tum Tuuuuum - and you know, fairly soon, the ship is gonna hit the fan. For the time is at hand when a sacrifice is needed...
While some elements seem run of the mill with this story, you will ask yourself repeatedly:
"Did I switch off the oven when I left the house?"
Sorry, that's my OCD kicking in. You know, Gingerbread house and everything.
But the best hidden secret of the book is why Martin was kept alive - and I can't elaborate any more on that.
Mr. Ralston, well done - this is a horror story that ticked all the right boxes. While it is not fast paced, I was never bored with anything. And, for the gory part of my palate, there was this one really sick scene, even though the author kept the blood and guts to a minimum.
While I have nothing bad to say about this one, I do think those horror fans who likes their action quick and fast might find it a little long, but the story made it worth my while.
Highly recommended!
5 Stars
08/19/2023
WE THE BROKEN
By Simon McHardy & Sean Hawker
A few years ago, an Australian gentleman…ahem, writer contacted me and asked me to review his book. It’s humorous.
Sure, I said, I like funny stories.
A few days later I contacted him and told him I will not be able to review his book.
Why, he asked innocently.
Well, sir, you managed to make me nauseous!
Yes, boys and girls, I was not prepared for MOTHER MAGGOT, and I think I abandoned it before 15%.
But take a moment to let this sink in. His words created images in my mind that made me physically gag. And I am not really one for gross-out, I will give you that, but there was something to his writing that made me want to try him again. And at least I was prepared this time.
I read a few books by Simon McHardy and wrote a review or two, though I refused to rate them. But let me tell you the thing that made me go back – this guy is funny, and buried beneath all the vile things he writes, I have a great admiration for how sharp he is.
Then I got my hands on THE CAPTIVE DWARF, which I enjoyed, and the author was generous enough to send me THIS IS PURE FUCKING FILTH! Well, I made it a few pages in before I said; um, okay, no. This is not for me.
But when I heard that Sean Hawker teamed up with Simon McHardy, it all clicked. Of course, there are two of these fuckers, and they managed to find each other. And it made sense!
I read NEIL and, well, the two of them together was like two naughty children being put in the same place and their parents leaving them. They were pushing each other. As a side note, this is the one book I refuse to give my wife (who does not do extreme) to read, but I am not totally sure if it is because I’m afraid she can’t handle it or what she would think of me for reading it all the way through.
Yet, they are both really good writers and hilarious, though disgusting.
However, when I heard about the new story they wrote and it was something different, I snapped it up.
And then I sent them both the following message right after I finished it:
“You motherfucker!! When you have stories like WE THE BROKEN in you, by all means, write the gross-out humor kind as well, but give us more of this awesomeness! Bra-fucking-vo!!”
When I go crazy with the exclamation marks, it means I am excited.
I loved everything about this story – it was dark, yes, but it was great as well.
Very highly recommended to horror fans!
5 STARS!!
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8/19/2023
ARON BEAUREGARDS'S MORBID CURIOSITIES
By Aron Beauregard
Doing something a little different here – going to tell you a story before the reviews.
A few years ago, I decided I want to see if I could do editing. But how do you get your foot in the door? I was a nobody – a reviewer on Goodreads who started writing reviews to keep track of what I’ve read, amongst other things.
This was my plan:
I would send authors messages if I liked their stories and offer to help with editing their upcoming stories – totally free of charge, so if they were not satisfied, it was no harm, no foul. I gave myself a year, after which I would decide if it was a waste of time or if I should consider doing it for money, if possible.
I was ignored by a lot of authors, and some were nice enough to politely refuse the offer, but every now and then, somebody would say why the hell not.
Aron’s YELLOW had just come out and I saw that there were no reviews for it, so I contacted him and offered to do a review if he would send me the book. He did. When I was done, I wrote the review and sent him the message that I picked up a few edits – if he was interested, I would send them to him.
Aron is the type of guy who is not satisfied with almost perfect. Then I made him the offer of editing whatever and he told me that he was almost done with a story called WEDDING DAY MASSACRE. I edited it for him, after his original editor, and found one or two things. At the end of the day, I’m not really sure how much I helped him, but he was grateful – even offered to pay me, which I politely turned down. It was a symbiotic relationship, because I gained experience and confidence while he got just a little more polish on the story.
For that year, you will find this on the information page of every book he released:
"Special Thanks to Mort Stone for Additional Revisions."
I discovered that year what a nice guy this extreme horror author is. He sent me some books – international, I might add, free of charge – but more than that, he let me in. He gave me the opportunity to test the waters with his work, and he allowed me to build the confidence I needed to carry on with editing.
Whatever anybody has to say about Aron, I am forever grateful that he trusted me with his babies (for any writer knows your stories are your children, too) and I have not heard him utter a bad word about anybody. And I am sure there are many others who also have their own Aron Beauregard stories they can tell.
He has earned the privilege to be called the nicest guy in Splatterpunk. I feel truly blessed to have come to know him a little bit.
His work is of the highest quality, and his Splatterpunk award backs up that statement!
Now, on to the reviews:
CAME WITH THE FRAME (Aron Beauregard's Morbid Curiosities Book 1).
It was TV shows like THE TWILIGHT ZONE and THE OUTER LIMITS that spoiled me with expecting a twist in the stories I enjoy. All three books in this series are dedicated to Rod Serling and the inspiration is very clearly visible throughout.
The first one deals with an infamous photographer who pushes boundaries and, as you would expect from a Beauregard book, has macabre tastes for his art and personal life. But a gift will make him question his own sanity and push him further than anything he has attempted.
A solid 4 Stars.
THE ILLUSION OF CHOICE (Aron Beauregard's Morbid Curiosities Book 2).
Yeah, baby!
I loved this one – a fresh spin on an idea that has been popularized in Science Fiction since 1895 by another legendary writer. That’s your only clue.
This one was darker than the first, but it completely fit with the world Aron created.
Can’t recommend this one enough.
Easy 5 Stars!
CEMETERY CAMP (Aron Beauregard's Morbid Curiosities Book 3)
Troubled teens and family dysfunction – with the world going nuts all around us and the kids out of control, will there ever be a way we can save the difficult ones?
Time to take some tough love to another level – Aron Beauregard style!
The kind of sick, twisted quality you would expect from this author…and sure to offend some people, as all of his stories does, maybe he could be on to something…
Bwahahahaha!
4.5 Stars
08/12/2023
MISCHIEF NIGHT
By Mark Towse & E.C. Hanson
Well, boys and girls, if there is one thing you can always count on from The Evil Cookie Publishing, it is good, old-fashioned quality. And blood…never forget the blood.
Towse and Hanson weaved an interesting little story which is not at all what you expect it is going to be. And I have no idea what else I can share with you that will not ruin the surprises that lies in store.
Except for one thing, which weighs heavy on my mind, and I am genuinely curious about it. I don’t know if it is simply a cultural thing, but are there really places in the world where you would still open your door to a stranger and allow them inside?
A lot of people in different countries have such a misconception of what is going on in the world. I live in South Africa. No, the lions do not roam the streets freely…we lock them up for the tourists. However, it is a dangerous place to live. And it is rare to find a house without a security door or windows that doesn’t have burglar bars. If a stranger knocks on your door at night, the reaction is more like THE PURGE…except most of us can’t afford the security cameras and state of the art security systems, but the fortunate ones have alarms and panic buttons.
Well, if you are inclined to play the friendly host, read this first. Maybe it will make you rethink your choices.
5 STARS
08/12/2023
PUZZLE HOUSE
By Duncan Ralston
Okay, so I will admit it – I get along great with this author. However, I get along great with a lot of authors, and I will not say the following about all of them:
I have not read anything bad or what I felt to be sub-par from this author.
Which is why I got the inside scoop and I am about to reveal the inspiration for this story.
Duncan had a weekend to himself, so he decided on a movie marathon. Of course, it started with ESCAPE ROOM, which planted the seed. Then he watched SAW. And SAW II. And SAW III. Finally he reached the point where he felt he’d seen enough SAW.
After a quick bathroom break and a TV dinner – because that’s how he rolls when he is alone – he decided to spice things up. SPICE WORLD played for about 10 minutes when he decided nope, it doesn’t get better over time.
Time for Cage! NATIONAL TREASURE and CON AIR.
That left him feeling kind of frisky, so he watched ON GOLDEN POND, because he mistook it for ON GOLDEN BLONDE, but don’t worry, he still got off because that Henry Fonda aged really well.
Feeling tired, he fell asleep watching CONSTANTINE and had a nightmare about the end of the world.
What does this have to do with the story, Mort?
Well, here’s the puzzling thing, how much of the information I have given you are clues and how much is misdirection?
5 STARS
08/05/2023
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
By Bridgett Nelson
A determiner. A conjunction. A pronoun. An adverb.
There, that answer should just about cover it.
Oh, you want to be more specific, do you?
Well, “that” just happened to be three very well written, very brutal and very fucked up stories…the kind of quality you would expect from a top-notch author.
Need I say more?
5 Stars!
07/29/2023
SCARLETT
By Brian Bowyer
Bowyer’s name has been in my radar for a while, and I’m glad I finally got the chance to read him.
While the premise of this story is something I have read before – a serial killer artist who uses the blood his victims in his paintings – this story was better than I expected.
Now, it is not a flawless story, but it is apparent that this author has that ability that I so greatly admire: Simplicity. He uses easy to understand words/phrasing/terminology and tells it in a way that makes it seem so straight forward, it simply flows.
For anybody who has ever attempted to write a story, you will know that it takes true talent to make it seem so easy.
What I loved the most was that there was not unnecessary fluff. You simply get all the information you need and you can get on board with the ride.
Most importantly, I want to read more by this author, and that is why I will push the rating up to full marks.
5 Stars
07/29/2023
WOE TO THOSE WHO DWELL ON EARTH
By John Lynch
This is an interesting collection and one that showcases the imagination of a very talented author. From supernatural to environmental to outer space and more, the horror stories are quite diverse on subject matter.
Now, I know there has been rumors that some of these stories may have been conceived while he was sharing a foxhole with another very talented horror author, but I refuse to lend my ears to the rumor mill. I will, however, buy the video if it comes out…
At ease, men…
4.5 stars
07/22/2023
SORROW: BOOK TWO
UNBURIED
By Dan Volpe
There are different opinions about this, but do you know the quickest way to a man’s heart?
Some would say it is through his stomach, some would say it is through his dick. I think it was Nanny Ogg who said that it was with a sharp knife between the second and third rib.
Whatever you may believe, it doesn’t have anything to do with this story. Because Daniel Volpe knows for a fact that the quickest way to a monster’s heart is through his mouth. Which happens to be in his stomach…
Having difficulty with this mental image – look at the damn cover!
And yet, Volpe actually makes it work.
So buckle up, sharpen your sword and go on another adventure with Sorrow and his crew.
The second Splatter-fantasy will make you wish you could get your hands on the third one as soon as possible, so make haste and devour it like your mouth is in your belly!
5 Stars
07/22/2023
STAY OUT OF THE TUB
By D. W. Hitz
Man, you would imagine with the amount of seggs in this book, SOMEBODY would have done it in the tub, right? But nooo, hygiene always cums last…
The family dynamic is less than ideal and add to that the extra stress of moving from one house to a newly renovated one – which is not done yet – and things can get uglier than a wart on a mushroom.
This story was interesting, and it got really gory toward the end.
Recommended to the extreme and Splatterpunk crowd.
4 Stars
07/08/2023
MICHAEL BRAY
DOUBLE REVIEW
This week I am giving a shout-out to an author who had some difficulty with Amazon recently, so he has set up his own store where you can get his books.
I discovered Michael Bray a few years ago, when it was still early in my extreme and Splatterpunk journey, so the two reviews I am posting this week was of younger, much more innocent me. However, I decided not to edit them because both these books have stuck with me (more than 200 stories later), so I still feel confident in recommending them.
MONSTER BY MATT SHAW & MICHAEL BRAY
I'm a fan of Shaw but I haven't read anything by Bray before.
The book starts with a warning, by both authors, about how bad things are going to get. Knowing Matt Shaw's work, it had me intrigued.
Shortly into the story, I was getting this TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE vibe, but at 100 pages I thought to myself that it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
And then came the second part of the book. Within 20 pages, I felt like I had been sucker-punched repeatedly in the gut. I had to put the book down and do something "normal" for a few minutes, call it a mental time-out, before I could stomach the rest of the story.
This, my friends, is the book you need to read if you are wondering whether you might be a sociopath or not. If Part 2 can't evoke empathy from you, I doubt anything else will.
Mr. Shaw and Mr. Bray seem to feed off each other when it comes to pushing the boundaries, and these two sick fucks (compliment) can write a damn good story.
I can recommend this one only to those who have the guts for it, and even they might be surprised. Brilliant effort.
5 STARS
MEAT BY MICHAEL BRAY
"You can check in any time you want,
But you can never leave..."
HOTEL CALIFORNIA by The Eagles.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
This book had me from the very first line! Within three pages on my Kindle, I had to highlight the following sentence:
"Rack of human ribs which still had the skin on one side for 'easy roast crackling'."
How can you NOT want to read this story?!
Michael Bray, you beauty you!
This story is about people in a supermarket who notice things for sale which should really not be...well, available.
Human body parts.
And then, once faced with this reality, it becomes clear that nobody will be allowed to leave.
What the hell is going on?
And how much conflict can human nature create among themselves in a hopeless situation?
The whole atmosphere of this story is very reminiscent of THE MIST by Stephen King, but everything about this story impressed me because...
No, I'm not going to give it away.
I loved this one. And that ending knocked me on my ass.
I can ask for nothing more!
5 STARS
07/01/2023
HOUSEBROKEN
By The Behrg
Well, well, well...
What a heartwarming, family friendly story about family ties. What movie does this book bring to mind? Hmm...have you seen IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE?
Like that, only the opposite.
Cue the speed-metal!
This story was in your face. No, I don't think you got it. In your FACE! The author went for full-frontal extreme, the way this story was meant to be told.
Want a comparison?
It's like grabbing a four-year-old girl by the ears and screaming in her face: SANTA DOESN'T EXIST! NEITHER DOES THE EASTER BUNNY! OR UNICORNS!!
or
Like a mother grabbing her son's erection he wakes up with and threatening to cut it off.
shiverrrrrrr
And just to give the ladies some perspective, it doesn't even have to be a young son. The trauma will be there. Hell, a few nights ago my wife did it with me. It's not like you have any control over poking it THERE while you are sleeping. For the record - THERE refers to the kidney area, you pervs!
It put such a fright in me; I tied my wiener to my right leg with a shoelace. Only problem - I accidentally kicked her out of the bed that night!
Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. She got angry about my snoring. And maybe she didn't threaten to cut it off, but the word 'vasectomy' was thrown out there. I haven't slept since. I'm actually quite tired right now.
But I digress...back to the story.
This is a different take on a home invasion. The story becomes fairly complex, but I have to give kudos to the author - he never lost me in the story.
And, people, for fuck's sake, this story goes extreme real quick, and it stays there all the way through.
However, there is something negative (in my opinion) I have to mention:
The story begins with day 6, and then it jumps back to the beginning. While I'm fine with that, the fact that you know the main character survives until day six takes away from those moments where you would have thought - will he survive this??
I also have to mention brief animal cruelty around the 100 page mark, but he doesn’t dwell on it and it is important for the story.
Overall, it was a very impressive book, but it pushes the limits a little, even though I am not sure if this does more than touch on Splatterpunk.
4 Stars
07/01/2023
SLASHVIVOR
By Stephen Kozeniewski & Stevie Kopas
Fun! Fun! FUN!!
This book deserves six stars for entertainment value! It might not be the book to broaden your horizons and change your life, but this must have been the book that I enjoyed the most all year.
I've been thinking about the best way to describe this story since about 20% in the story. This might not be the most graceful or tactful review you come across, but this comes straight from the heart:
SLASHVIVOR! must have been the product of a Hollywood party. Actually, to be more accurate, orgy. THE RUNNING MAN hosted, MAD MAX: BEYOND THUNDERDOME, THE HUNGER GAMES and GLADIATOR was there. Dark comedies like FIGHT CLUB, IN BRUGES, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS and VERY BAD THINGS showed up. PLANET TERROR made a surprise appearance. And, hey, wait a minute. Is Hannibal Lector giving a speech like Al Pacino in ANY GIVEN SUNDAY? Man, it was a wild night.
And from this night was born a script for a reality TV show that was so unprecedented that they needed a director like Eli Roth to bring it to life...
This book is a post-apocalyptic horror comedy...
After the nuclear war in the 80s only about 1% of the American population survived. And that's when this Mad Max shit started. And the Geiger Lands is probably the worst of the worst, which makes it the perfect place for the pirate show called 'Try Not To Die'...
Okay, that's the concept, but this story offers so much more. The deaths are brutal and gory, so don't think the authors held back. They decided early on that we will be the sick fucks who will laugh until we piss ourselves at all the horrible shit that happens in this story.
And, just to make it clear, there will be no cursing on air because the children are watching.
As for the mxnxkxkm... cough...
I beg your pardon. What I meant to say - cough... cough, cough... cough...
What the...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
Finally. I apologize, ladies and gentleman, but I just couldn't let him go on any longer.
Allow me to introduce myself - I am Mort's conscience, and on behalf of both of us I have to apologize for all this cursing. I mean, come on, does he always have to drop the f-bombs in his reviews like that? He's not like that at home, you know. In fact, he never curses in front of his son. He doesn't even watch violent movies or shows when his son is there. I have no idea where he comes up with all this filth and his enjoyment of it.
Really, don't judge him by these reviews. And, for fornication's sake, don't read all this feces he advocates. It is super violent and the humor is just wrong, wrong, wrong. I swear, I get so urined off sometimes, I'm beginning to wonder if people won't think we are just some immature penises or something...
Anyway, sorry for the interruption, I just had to get my two cents in before this anus makes us look bad again.
Cough...
I really hope I didn't give too much away in this review. It was funny as fornicate...
5 Stars
07/01/2023
HOME INVASION
By Tom Deady
Home invasion.
Is there anything scarier? I mean, the very idea that someone can invade the one place you are supposed to safe...
Okay, it was a rhetorical question. Forget about your proctologist, Dr. Pineapplefingers, for a moment. Nobody likes a wise-ass, Larry.
Well, after reading this one, I'm probably about two books away from never, ever going anywhere secluded again. Think I'm kidding? I was about to take off the bathroom door a minute ago.
But I took a deep breath and told myself not to become paranoid...again.
So, I'm applying something I learned from a shrink, and making a list of people who would not make good home invaders:
1. Paranoid people. They wouldn't make good criminals in general.
2. People without arms. Or legs. Basically disabled people. I mean, how would they get in? Or out?
3. People with OCD. Forget about the key that must be turned eight times or the hands that must be washed at least three times with a brand new bar of soap...what if the home of the people they are invading is a mess. Like the dishes hasn't been washed for a week. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to aim a gun at somebody while scrubbing the bottom of a burnt pot? Or stepping on dog shit on the lawn, dont even get me started!
4. People with severe diarrhea. While not impossible, it seems highly unlikely that they would have the energy. And even if they do, the chances of them dehydrating and passing out is fairly high.
5. People who are in comas.
6. People who are serving life sentences in prison.
7. People who are on a different continent.
8. People under the age of 5 and over the age of 95. Again, not impossible, but I'm fairly sure I can take them.
9. Well, Dr Pineapplefingers, he's too rich to be interested in my stuff.
Take another deep breath.
See, feeling better already, aren't we. All we needed was to calm down and think positive thoughts.
Sigh.
Who the fuck am I kidding?! This book was scary!
Good story, short and to the point.
Well done, Mr. Deady
5 Stars
06/24/2023
VEILED
By Jeff Strand
You’re going to need to go along with these visuals for a moment.
This story is like a strand of Rapunzel’s hair, after somebody tried to climb to the top and, once close, slipped and went all the way down, but still holding on, and the friction has the same effect as it would if you tried to make a curly ribbon, so this long strand of hair becomes this intricate, complicated pattern of organized chaos, that is so twisty even an extremely fit hair lice would have difficulty figuring out where it will end exactly…
And that, my friends, is what happens if you drink too much while watching cartoons…your mind actually accepts the possibility that what is it thinking makes total sense, despite your better judgment.
The point I am trying to make is that Strand managed to spin a golden yarn, like Rumpledforesk…sorry, wait, flicked past the porn channel.
Anyhoo—I am very obviously running out of ways to review Jeff Strand books, because I had no idea what I was going to say when I sat down a few minutes ago.
Guy meets girl, there’s chemistry, guy finds out girl must be a little unbalanced—like a drunk Libra—and is hiding something, guy still gets swept up and then…
I will give Strand this—as a fan of his work who reads just about anything he writes, he managed to really surprise me with this one. The hook is extremely clever; the twists are truly surprising, and he kept me wondering right up to the end.
Loved everything about this – not a single criticism.
5 Stars
06/17/2023
SWEET, SOUR & SPICY
By Bridgette Nelson
It has come to me!
Bridgett Nelson is Bernadette, from THE BIG BANG THEORY!!
Fans of the TV show will know exactly what I mean. Short, adorable girl who is nice to everyone until, BAM!, you pissed off the wrong lady, there – bucko. Those who laugh at your fear of her have never felt her wrath and, if they are lucky enough, will go the rest of their lives being blissfully unaware of the bullet they have dodged.
This book is the perfect example – she lures you in with her sweet little ghost pug story, until you are nice and comfortable, and then BAM! the next moment you are looking up medical equipment you have never heard of before and finding that, yes, it is actually very possible to do that to another human being, and then to decompress she throws a third story at you that makes you wonder why…oh why, does sex have to be such a dirty birdy thing!
High quality, but too extreme for the average horror reader, perhaps – don’t you ever underestimate this woman. She can throw them in there with the big boys…right until she cuts something off!
5 Stars
06/17/2023
TWO MINUTES WITH THE DEVIL
By Matt Micheli
1986.
I miss the eighties. When I was growing up. When I was discovering things. When I had no idea how the world actually worked.
So, what happened in ’86?
A lot of cool shit, that’s what!
Kenny Loggings took us to the danger zone, where fighter jets could fly upside down and you could give the enemy the finger, scaring them away.
Ferris took a day off to help his best friend discover himself, William Dafoe got shot to shit in ‘Nam, Queen contemplated mortality while men fought with swords until they summoned lightning, Jeff Goldblum gave his best performance when he became an insect, Kim Basinger shot to fame for showing some boobs and ass, an Australian made fun of an American knife, three actors misused the word “infamous” to the most hilarious of consequences, Stephen King had an ATM call him an asshole in the movie he directed, Daniel-son made a return, Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines gave a guy grief for not practicing safe sex, and Madonna was in a movie with a Penn.
Eddie Murphy was on the music charts, the movie soundtracks were all over the charts, Falco shot for classical music…kind of, there were bands with names like Scritti Politti and Nu Shooz, Robert Palmer admitted his addictions, Lionel Richie could literally flip the room and we started doing the Walk of Life.
To say this book made me nostalgic might not be a stretch.
It is a coming of age story and it is written well – I think most horror lovers will find something they like about it.
However, the ending…
I love cliffhangers and I love open endings, most of the time. But this time I wanted some kind of conclusion. I am pretty sure there is a follow up coming on this, but until I can see the final battle, I can’t give this one the five stars it probably deserves.
So, pending the continuation, I will rate this 4 stars.
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06/10/2023
A STORY OF SORROW
BOOK ONE: OF FLESH AND BLOOD
by Daniel Volpe
I don’t know if my opinion will hold much water on this book, since I was one of the editors. But I will say this:
As someone who can be very particular about what they read and who is not really a fan of fantasy, it says a lot about the author if he can make me want to read more of this series.
Horror and fantasy fans, treat yourselves to this.
5 stars.
06/10/2023
SKINSLUT
By Finn Vandergrift & Regina Watts
This story reaches levels of depravity that will not only make a lot of people uncomfortable, but will ABSOLUTELY get judged by readers who are not ready for the genre.
So, cannibalism is legal—if you have a contract—and that would make consensual murder legal as well.
But that wouldn’t necessarily mean that people wouldn’t get judged and still have to live in the shadows about their particular kink.
Enters college student Erica, on a journey to discover…well, everything.
Look, I am a fan of Regina Watts, even though I’m not that big into the erotica side. I think she is an immensely underrated author, and she has this fine sense of humor that I think is absolutely hilarious.
But she pushes the boundaries—she manages to take me to places where I am not comfortable sometimes, and this makes it really hard to rate her work.
This was my first read for Finn Vandergrift, so I am not sure if I should say “Shame on you!” or “Ooooo-kay, then”…
With that in mind, for their superb writing and a really fast-paced story, I am going to rate this
4.5 Stars–but with a warning:
If you are not into extreme and Splatterpunk, and you have trauma triggers, don’t take this on–it will get to you, guaranteed.
06/03/2023
LARRY
By Adam Millard
I am doing something a little different this week – promoting an author I haven’t seen anything new from in a while.
But, I really enjoyed these three books and wish I could get a little more. If you haven’t heard of Adam Millard yet and you are in the mood for something different, it might be worth giving him a go.
The following are reviews I did when I read the books a few years ago.
****
Superbly Hilarious!
Are you willing to join in this reader-participation review?
Don't worry, it's not difficult and it won't take a lot of time.
Here's what you need to do - the words that are written normally you imagine are being read by James Earl Jones...the voice of Darth Vader in the original Star Wars movies...Mufasa from the Lion King...a really deep voice, if you're still lost.
The words written in italics are being read by Jack from the television series Will & Grace.
Anything in brackets will be a sound you have to make out loud.
Are you ready?
[Before we start, try to read this review while listening to Carmina Burana]
You were scared when you saw Leatherface in THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.
(Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmm)
You pissed your pants when you watched Jason Voorhees in FRIDAY THE 13th.
Thats right, he said pissed!
(Trinkle-trinkle-trinkle...plop-plop-ploink)
You nearly went crazy from lack of sleep after you saw Freddy Krueger in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.
(Shink-Shink-Shink-Slash)
You nearly became a vegetarian after you watched the cannibals in WRONG TURN.
(Chomp-chomp-chomp)
You can't kill Mike Myers from HALLOWEEN or The Creeper from JEEPERS CREEPERS.
You need to put some feeling into this, like a drag queen at a shoe sale.
(AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!)
And we're not even going to talk about the Teletubbies.
(Make him stop, mommy, SOB)
But nothing,
And if he says nothing, he means not-a-fucking-thing!
(Gasp)
Oh, grow up, will ya?
Pardon me, I'm trying to work here...
See what you did, you...gasper! Sorry, James, dazzle us with your golden voice.
Where was I?
(NOTHING!)
Right. Nothing can prepare you for...
(Tum-tum-tummmmmmm)
LARRY!
When geriatric serial killers want to relive their youth, things can only go one way...
(duunnn dunnn...duunnn dunnn...duuuunnnn duun… duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn ...
And what's the moral of the story, James?
Don't go fucking camping, you idiot!
--------------------------------------------
Okay, it may have been a bit juvenile, but I loved everything about it. As a geeky horror movie fan, this story was right on the money.
Looking forward to reading more from this author!
5 Stars
Larry 2: The Squeequel
By Adam Millard
Slapstick...
Okay, the way to approach this one is to just let yourself go and go with it, or you will never be able to enjoy yourself. It is utterly ridiculous - yet, funny, if you are into that kind of thing - and totally inappropriate in places.
Put it this way - imagine SOUTH PARK mixed with AMERICAN DAD! and FAMILY GUY - if you find it funny, you'll love this story.
Larry is back and he's going after Final Girl Amanda, with a whole cast of new, crazy characters:
The bored mayor, the rough-around-the-edges nun, the celebrity, the porn star and her billionaire husband, even a Roberts...
And the rules are simple - it is a sequel, so the body count has to be higher.
It took me about 20% to get into the right mindset, but from there I laughed quite a bit.
Something strange happened to me a few months back. I've mentioned on many occasions that my son is a huge PAW PATROL fan - which means I've seen nearly as many episodes (repeatedly) as him. I saw a book in a shop that included a PAW PATROL DVD - which makes a great gift for many reasons...for those about to become parents, a bit of free advice: Get something your child loves and use it as leverage when said child needs to be punished, i.e. "If you don't stop acting up right now, you are not allowed to watch PAW PATROL for two days!".
Anyway, I'm getting off track a bit.
My son loved the present and when he popped in the DVD, something sounded a bit off. I would love it if anybody who reads this can explain it to me. It was an episode we've seen multiple times, but suddenly the voices and accents were different. Now, I can understand re-dubbing something from English to, say, Mandarin. But why in the world would you want to go to all that trouble and expense to change it from American English to British English?
The point is:
LARRY 2 takes place in America, but Millard is an English writer, so the fact that these Americans started using terms like bollocks and knickers actually made this story a little funnier for me. I don't think everybody will feel the same, though.
Hey, here's a joke for you:
A naked guy shows up at a fancy dress party. The bouncer asks:
"What are you supposed to be?"
"I's a snail."
"Yeah? And what about that naked girl on your back?"
"That's Michelle!"
A naked guy shows up at a fancy dress party, his dick covered in a yellow substance. The bouncer asks:
"What are you supposed to be?"
"I'm fucking-dis-custard"
If you found above jokes funny, maybe you'll be into this book. Won't work for everybody, so you have been warned.
4 Stars
06/03/2023
LARRY 3D
By Adam Millard
This book was so wrong on so many levels that I loved it as much as the first one!
Look, I'm just a movie geek with a special place in my heart for horror films, and there were a gazillion inside jokes in this story, almost like AIRPLANE, so I was laughing throughout.
So, Larry's mom wants to resurrect him (again) at a horror movie convention with the premier of LARRY 3D. Who did they get to play him?
Why, there is only one actor who could possibly portray this slasher madman - but Gary Oldman was not available. So they got the next best thing - an actor who has honed his craft over the years to expose his willy every chance he got.
No, not Shia Ladeouf, the other one: William Dafoe!
With a face like that, well, let's not be judgmental, but it might just be the wise choice to draw attention to his...ahem, almost said dick there...scrotum.
And he will be the only one who will be able to save them. Or will he?
This was a blast. Even Ricks and Murtow from STUFF THAT had a part in this book.
Does it offend you?
Who cares - you need to laugh in these crazy times.
Serious question:
Why do they change the name William to Bill or Billy?
Yip, just saw it - probably better than Willy...
5 Stars
05/27/2023
BISHOP: MAN VS MONSTER
By Candace Nola & M Ennenbach
“I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real”
HURT by …
Okay, I have to get this off my chest – the more famous version of this song (and if you don’t know it, unfuck that right now!) is by Johnny Cash. And, while I am a huge Cash fan, I prefer the version by the guy who actually wrote the song. Trent Reznor – listen to the Nine Inch Nails version. And the reason is simple – Johnny sounds defeated, while Trent becomes angry.
On to the book:
Man, there are layers in this story. Deep, emotional layers.
If you are looking for a simple horror story to just entertain you for a few hours, kind of like a popcorn movie, this is not the read for you. This one will leave you with questions on where exactly you stand on the subject of life, death and monsters.
Now, I have read some really good collaborations and I have read some really bad ones, so it is always a risk to go down that road. Because there are difficult questions you have to answer before you even start a project like this:
Will our voices gel together? Will fans of one author be put off by the style and flow of the other author? Will the other author’s handwriting be so bad that the thread of the story gets lost and nobody will ever want to read me again and – breathe, damn you, breathe…screw these panic attacks!
It’s not really that bad. For everybody, anyway.
But the thing is, do you edit the stories to flow so well together that the reader would not know who wrote which part, or do you allow each other the freedom to express yourself the way you know it works for you?
And there is no right answer to that question.
I have read a novel where four authors were involved and I could honestly not tell who wrote which part, and then I have read some where they tried to make it sound like a singular voice, but in the end it diminished both author’s strong parts of their writing.
And I have read collaborations where both authors kept their own voice, but in the end the one was so far superior to the other that it made me like the story less.
But when it works…
So what did these two decide?
Well, there are two very distinct voices in this novel…
Fans of the first BISHOP novel by Candace Nola will not be disappointed by this one. And fans of Mike Ennenbach will get exactly what they expect.
But they made it work, mostly because most of the story takes place in two different timelines, which didn’t make you feel like one author was bending over to accommodate the other…even though Mike might have enjoyed that.
Relax, he has the sense of humor to appreciate that.
Highly enjoyable and recommended to horror fans who can appreciate depth in a story.
5 Stars!
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05/20/2023
TRANSCENDENTAL MUTILATION
By Ryan Harding
What can I say about the collection called TRANSCENDENTAL MUTILATION?
It is something, all right.
Ryan Harding – such a calm looking, soft-spoken guy – can go to places where extreme readers will say shit like:
“I’m done with extreme for a little while…”
Have you recovered yet, my reviewer friend who I shall not name?
Look, this guy can write, there is just no denying that. But he can also repulse you to the point where you might feel the need to just take a shower and smoke a blunt to wrap your mind around the mental images you just had.
This is not a criticism – this is what he does…because he can.
Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking he is just trying to gross you out (even though he will), because even with tales like ‘The Corpsefucker Blues’ there is actually a story there. Can you imagine how it must be to be ‘Orificially Compromised’ or what ‘The Seacretor’ might be?
You’re probably right, but it is done with style to the point that you feel like the author must have been wearing a tie when he wrote it. Granted, he may have been naked and wearing a gimp mask, but the tie was definitely there. Man, there’s even a zombie story in there that I liked!
Extreme and Splatterpunk fans, you are going to LOVE this!
Just heed this one warning:
It is not for those who likes to put limits on what they deem to be acceptable – this is balls out messed up.
5 Shamefilled Stars!
05/20/2023
DOLLS
By Eve Fell
I will admit it – I got this because someone whose opinion I trust said it was worth the read.
You can’t help but to think, if you read the blurb, that this should be a lot like the movie SAW, but in the end I think this might be much closer to the movie CUBE.
You have two friends trapped in a maze with a bunch of other girls, and they must try to get through it alive.
This was the first thing that I’ve read by this author and I was not disappointed. This story, in my opinion, could have been a little more fleshed out and, while not flawless, keeps your attention throughout.
What is very obvious is that we have a very talented writer here and she is someone you should keep your eye on, because she has the potential to have a huge impact on this genre.
Rounded off to 4 Stars.
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05/13/2023
WHAT GOOD GIRLS DO
By Jonathan Butcher
A few years ago, I wrote a review for THE GIRL NEXT DOOR by Jack Ketchum, where I said it is probably the best book I’ve read that I can’t recommend to anybody.
WHAT GOOD GIRLS DO by Jonathan Butcher is the second book that falls into that category.
How would someone who has been a sex slave her entire life handle freedom?
This book is heavier than you can imagine and, while brilliantly written, will haunt you for the rest of your life. I honestly don’t know if you will ever be able to do some stuff with a consensual partner without this popping up in your head.
5 STARS
WHAT GOOD MEN DO
By Jonathan Butcher
This book is cruel, rough to get through and an absolute Masterpiece.
I don’t use that word lightly and I don’t use it often, but if you are a horror fan who can stomach the harder side of the genre, this is the book you HAVE to read.
It is an instant Classic, in my opinion, that will be around much much longer than the author – a legacy, if you will.
Just make sure to read WHAT GOOD GIRLS DO first, and you’ll find yourself fully invested in the characters from the start.
And I am going to shut the fuck up right now because I can’t say anything more deserving.
10 STARS
05/06/2023
SHOCKWAVES
By Matt Kurtz
As an arachnophobe, any cover with a spider will get my attention.
As a kid who grew up in the 80’s, any story taking place in that timeframe will get me interested.
As a horror fan, any stories with oversized insects and monsters runs the risk of leaving the reader with…hmm, it’s been done before.
This is only the second book I’ve read by this author and, though I was greatly impressed with KINFOLK, I managed to miss his releases after that.
And, damn it, if I have to judge by this one, I have been missing out!
This story was a blast to read and I am surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Like a rollercoaster ride that gets the adrenaline up in all the right places, the pace of this story kept me in a state of constant fear/excitement.
There was enough info on the characters to create development and empathy, and I’ll be damned if I wasn’t rooting for the guy to actually get the girl alive and well, to be able to save her from an imminent, painful death.
I loved this tale, and I can recommend it to horror fans, even those who are not usually into bugs.
5 Stars!
04/29/2023
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
By Jeff Strand
Hey, Strand, I’ve got a bone to pick with you, son…
That’s right, I called you “son”, and it’s totally smack talk, since I think we are the same age, so I am about 95% sure you’re not my actual son.
I try to read everything you publish, but I will never claim to be your biggest fan. I am average height at best. Nor would I make ridiculous claims like I would buy anthologies where you are in and, due to time constraints, only read your story and never review it. I almost never do that.
Still, I never ask you for ARCs. It is not because I think you are brilliant and strive to be able to write as well as you some day, to have your fans say: “Hmm, I’m in the mood for a Strand story, but I’ve read everything by him, so let’s try this Mort Stone guy, I hear he’s pretty good, too.”
Such thoughts never cross my mind.
So, the very idea that I am too intimidated to even attempt the contact is just silly.
No, the main reason is because I am not sure if I am spelling ARC correctly and I am way too shy to ask anybody.
Which brings us to the problem we have:
I can’t seem to put a book that I have pre-ordered from you on hold when I get it. And I have other responsibilities, man!
I’m a family man, I have a full time job, I review books for authors, I try to write a few words every now and then, and I am part of Candace Nola’s editing team.
You know Candace, right? Hardest working woman in the indie horror community? Salt of the earth, friend to all, really super human being?
And then you read one of her books and ask yourself: Self, am I going to tell this lovely woman that I can’t make a deadline because I dropped everything to read the new Jeff Strand book and risk fucking with her quan?
And my wife, which you don’t know at all…Well, I am not even going to phrase this as a question, I will simply state:
It is NOT a good idea to pick a fight so you can be left alone for a few days to read your book. You’re a married man yourself, so you know there will be CONSEQUENCES!
Well, no, let’s not sleep this weekend so we can do everything.
And here’s where you need to be more responsible and do your part.
First, I will need your publishing schedule three months in advance so I can plan. You know, write it on my calendar and work the rest of my life around it.
Second, I will need three notes from you. Sadly, since they will not be going to the same people, you need to write an original one with each publication, but they should be along these lines:
1. Dear Candace, you look lovely as always. Will you please pardon Mort on the following date [enter date here – preferably the entire weekend], where he will be helping out in an emergency to cleanse his soul of all the foul and disgusting things he reads and edits, by reading something that is hilariously foul and disgusting, written by me. He will not be able to perform any other duties during this time, so please forgive his weakness for my words and his inability to pace himself. I promise this will not happen again until my next publication, which will be [enter date here].
2. Dear Mrs. Mort, you look lovely as always. Will you please pardon Mort on the following date [enter date here – preferably the entire weekend], where he will be assisting me in reading and reviewing my latest book, to ensure I will be able to keep food on my table. Not only for us, but for our cat – here’s a nice picture – and I’ve heard how fond you are of cats, and you know it costs a pretty penny to keep them fed and happy. So please allow Mort the opportunity this weekend in assisting this starving artist to at least keep our beloved Chaos alive for another month. Pretty please…
3. Dear Mort’s boss, I am sure you look lovely as always. I am writing to ask for leniency this Monday, since Mort has had a really tough weekend with a personal issue which I can’t discuss, as it is not my place. I want to assure you that Mort was still courageous enough to do some charity work to feed not only the needy, but also their pets. Can you please not assign any new tasks to him for the next day or two, and prevent him from answering any emails, since he is sleep deprived and might say the first thing that comes into his mind. I greatly appreciate your understanding – Mort has only good things to say about you and the company.
There, not so difficult, is it?
Anyway, I probably have to review the book, too. Here goes:
There are some people who achieve great things, yet they do something that is so brilliant, it was like they were born to do that one specific thing.
Like Sir Anthony Hopkins was born to play Dr. Hannibal Lector.
Like Stephen Spielberg was born to direct E.T.
Like John Lennon was born to sing IMAGINE.
Like all the Kardashians was born to annoy the living piss out of me.
So, Jeff Strand was born to write something, which we hope to see someday soon.
Totally fucking with you – this is that book!
Even though I have mostly outgrown my taste for spoof comedy, I have not laughed as hard at anything since seeing AIRPLANE! And THE NAKED GUN as a child.
Absolute brilliance!
5 Stars!!
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04/29/2023
BEACH BODIES: A Nunchuck City Beatdown
By Brian Asman
This has got to be the most perfect cover for any book, ever, because it basically tells you exactly what to expect on the inside.
Just go into this with zero expectations of taking anything seriously – Brian Asman wrote this story to see how far he can push you. It puts the PARODY in parody.
It is bound to offend people, but like an actor who stays in character throughout the movie, no matter what – think anything Will Ferrell attempts – this author went for it full throttle, no apologies and fuck those who can’t take a joke.
It will not be for everyone, but for those who will allow themselves to be in on the joke, you probably won’t get much better.
In this case, I will say you will either shoot for five stars or one star, with very little middle ground, but I also like to let things go once in a while and just run with the gag, so I am aiming my gun up and giving this one 5 stars.
If parody is not your thing, this will most probably annoy you, but I highly recommend it to those who want to let their hair down for a little while and embrace the silly.
5 Stars
04/29/2023
Red Room
Ash Ericmore
So here’s the thing nobody likes to discuss – and this statement may stir some controversy – but serial killers have problems too.
Now, I am not saying that you should feel sorry for them when they get constipated (not in this story, relax), but there are some real world problems that few people think about.
Not being able to sleep enough, for example. Can you imagine how hard it is to maintain a normal life and having to do your killings after hours? You’re grumpy too if you don’t get enough sleep.
But this is not in this story, either – this opening is just to get the juices flowing, so you will not shut this down as just people killing other people live on the dark web for money.
This story has more than that.
Because as cold and heartless as Raymond and Gel is – and believe me, this is an extreme story packed full of triggers – they also have problems they have to deal with. And then something happens that nobody saw coming…
Well, if you know one thing about my reviews it is that I refuse to give anything away that might surprise the reader – and the author truly did something that I did not see coming, and I loved it!
Extreme and Splatterpunk fans – highly recommend this trip into depravity and only Ash can tell it.
5 STARS!
04/22/2023
The Mound
By Brian Berry
Whether it was meant to or not, the cover of this book made me think:
Ernest Borgnine!
And now there will be millennials scratching their heads saying: “The what-now?”
Well, if you are part of the younger generation, the only movie I can think of where you would have seen this actor was R.E.D. (The Willis/Malkovic/Freeman etc) – I think he was either 90 already or very close to it.
But go back a few years, and that generation will tell you he was the guy from the TV show AIRWOLF.
Then go back another generation and they will tell you he was in one of the greatest war movies ever made – THE DIRTY DOZEN.
And then you go back to the generation who thinks cowboy movies was the shit, and…
I am totally getting off the subject. Basically, Google the name Ernest Borgnine (if you don’t know what he looks like) and then try to read this book without picturing him as the main character, Clint Blackwell.
This one is not very long and, in the greater scheme of things if you are a Berry fan, not as gory as some of his work, but there is enough blood, snot and violence to still keep the splatterpunkers happy.
Enjoyed this tale a lot, especially with the ending, and will recommend it to the usual crowd – even though it is not his usual offering.
4.5 Stars
04/15/2023
K: The story of an alien invasion
By Ashley Lister
This one was a little different from me.
Aliens and conspiracy theories does not pop onto my radar all that often. For the most part, I tend to avoid sci-fi when it comes to books – I can handle it in small doses, but the moment we go into technology I don’t understand (and let’s be honest, Facebook makes me scratch my head a lot) and languages that hasn’t been invented yet, my brain just says: Nope, not smart enough!
So my sci-fi is usually limited to the occasional movie – some of which are brilliant – but not books.
As for conspiracy theories, I do find some of it interesting in a distant kind of way, but with the way of the world and the shit-show that American politics has become, I can only handle so much of it before I need to cleanse my psyche by listening to this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysW4Yu2Ia-M
[If this link does not work, Google: White Nerd Rapper (Is he forreal or just crazy?)]
Now, the fact that this video has been watched 54K times – currently – while good authors struggle their asses off to get people to notice their work…THAT’s the kind of conspiracy theory that needs explaining, in my opinion.
Seriously, though, I have a very good friend who is into all kinds of conspiracy theories, so I have learned to watch my tongue. Because my brain gets tired, so at some point I have to shut it down, and if there’s one thing you have to give these people, it is that they can be very passionate about things.
So, with that out of the way, let’s get to the book.
K is a book about aliens, Karen’s, EMM EYE BEEs and conspiracy theories. People who are into those things, will like this story. There is a fine mist of mystery and a soft hum of humor.
Now, I am about to reveal the biggest secret of all:
(Tum Tum Tummmmm)
Ashley Lister is…
An intellectual! He was actually a housecat, who snuck into his owner’s satchel and got trapped in the laboratory, and when he panicked, he jumped on the shrink-ray machine, switched the button to reverse, knocked it from the table and got zapped just as he stepped on a physics book. This caused him to grow, lose his hair and learn to speak almost instantly. If it had been a joke book, he probably would have been a comedian. If it had been a dinosaur, he probably would have been a paleontologist. If it had been a true crime book, he probably would have been a politician.
In the end, though, he became the evil genius, who can not only watch THE BIG BANG THEORY, but also understand their science. And he decided to bide his time, until the day his evil plan will come to fruition. You think he writes horror and sci-fi? Ha, it is prophecies of our bleak future under his sadistic rule, sprayed with some humor to cause a deflection. Silly humans!
In the end, the day the sun finally sets on our false sense of security, the only thing that might save us is Whiskers and an endless supply of empty boxes. So if you ever see him with his one leg in the air, licking his nether regions, think back on this and know:
You were warned!
4 STARS!
04/08/2023
Kin of the Fallen
By Carver Pike
There is no other sensation that can quite match driving a motorcycle. Whether it is a Harley or a Vespa, there is joy in feeling the wind all over.
Of course, the flip side of the coin is that you will also feel the rain, hail, snow, swarm of bloodthirsty locusts (don’t ask) or whatever nature can throw at you. Also, I have never fallen and bled while being in a car.
But maybe that’s part of the rush?
Carver Pike wrote a slasher-horror where the biker gang (Kin of the Fallen – who happen to be the good guys) become the victims of an almost inhuman monster. If there are more stories like this, I have not read any, so for me it was a fresh take on the theme.
Also, the bikers are all family members of victims that have been killed by serial/spree killers. I found some of those references really hilarious – which sounds completely sick, I know – but if you have a decent knowledge of slasher stories, you will catch a lot of references that never gets a direct mention.
And I don’t really want to tell you too much more – this is a gory, extreme, sexed-up horror books with a good pace and an author that seems to be hitting his stride.
Recommended to Splatterpunk/extreme horror fans!
5 Stars!
04/03/2023
Joey Leonard's Last Horror Movie Marathon
By Kevin Lucia
For those of you who have never watched a movie on a video tape, here’s how it used to work:
You went to the video store. The movie you wanted to watch has been rented by someone else, so you go through everything else they have. You discover some movies you never knew existed, rent them and regret it. Most of the time. The older movies got these distorted lines and sometimes you missed a pivotal moment because of this.
Now, gents, most of the time it was the moments of nudity that you really wanted to see, and whether it was from being paused too much (which was a trick if you had an older model VCR, because it didn’t pause immediately, but that half a second it went on was usually too far to see what you wanted to see, so you had to rewind and try again until you got it right) or just good old-fashioned wear and tear. And, if you watched a LOT of movies, you’ve learned the trick by now to unscrew the top of the VCR and use a tissue or piece of toilet paper to try to clean the “heads”. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn’t.
But, every now and then, you would discover that diamond in the rough, the one that made all the bad shit you had to sit through seem worthwhile. For me, the one that comes to mind immediately, is IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS.
Oh, how I miss those days, where we still had to work for our entertainment.
So this story is about Joey Leonard, who managed the last video rental store in the Adirondacks. Since becoming single, he had these movie marathons over the weekends, where he would watch too many movies and drink too much booze.
With all the horror movies of the closed store in his possession, he discovers a strange home-recording.
Hmm…this does sound like THE RING, doesn’t it?
Well, things go off the rails from there, as you might expect. But this is not a remake of THE RING at all, so things start happening to Joey. Is it the booze, though?
The start of the story felt a little slow for my personal taste, but the direction it went was not what I expected. And while this is still a horror story, it had more of a BLACK MIRROR/TWILIGHT ZONE/OUTER LIMITS feel toward the end.
Kudos for that cover – got my attention immediately – and a story that I can recommend to the more patient horror reader, who doesn’t rely on a lot of gore.
4 STARS
03/25/2023
The Unicorn Killer
By Candace Nola
Do you know the story about Mr. Fluffy Bunny Feet?
He was a serial killer who was dubbed “Jack the Slipper”.
His story is completely unrelated to this one by the hardest working woman in indie horror, Candace Nola.
And it is not cartoonish, if that is what you are worried about. Some killers just need a gimmick to make them stand out, you know.
And she avoided the catchphrase: Horny and out for blood!
A fast, short read with a high body count and lots of gore.
4 Stars
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03/25/2023
Road-EO
By Jospeh Monks
Well, people, some of us are born with adventurous souls, that seeks to explore unseen places and experiences unknown rituals and customs, who has the urge to know and feel that which is hidden.
And when I say “us”, I mean humanity in general, or to be more precise, “you”.
You see, I have done a lot of things in my younger days, for which I feel blessed, but I am also older and, hopefully, a little wiser.
For me, no good things can come after the words:
“Let’s go camping!”
Allergic to grass, get hay fever, suffer from arachnophobia and get stage fright when I have to pee in front of others.
“Let’s explore!”
Busted head more than 40 years ago, still have the scar, got attacked by bees when I was six, still allergic, and destroyed a couple of brand new sneakers in a day when the car broke down in the middle of nowhere and I had to go look for help, stopped keeping track after 20 miles of walking.
So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. But if I ever go down as a precautionary tale, it will be because that shit came to me, I didn’t go look for it.
Think of it this way, my death will probably make a good Alanis Morissette song if it is not from natural causes.
And that, my friends, is how you review a book without giving anything away.
I liked the story, even though it wasn’t perfect, and keep an eye on the author for the future.
4 Stars
03/18/2023
Multiple Stab Wounds
By Daniel Volpe
Words association horror readers:
First book that comes to mind when I say:
1. Prom
2. Trapped in a field
3. Gunslinger
4. Trust
5. A father who can’t accept the death of his son
6. Stalker
You will be forgiven if some (or most of them) was written by a King.
But these are all unique, fresh and told by a man who has a very bright future in the horror industry.
Not going to say anything more. Loved all of them.
5 Stars
03/11/2023
This is Where We Talk Things Out.
By Caitlin Marceau
I am going to trust my gut on this one – and if I am way off, my apologies. But my mind is funny sometimes – it makes these connections that I cannot always explain, but more often than not makes sense in the end. At least to me.
So, this story is about a dysfunctional relationship between mother and daughter. And the reason I started this review the way I did was because of the comparison I am about to make:
Can you imagine FATAL ATTRACTION without the sex?
No, this is not one of those incestuous stories, before you run off that idea. But as I read this, I kept having these flashes of the movie FATAL ATTRACTION – which I had seen about three decades ago. It is not about the sex, it is about this uncomfortable feeling I experienced when I watched it. This impending doom that you know is coming, the way you feel inside that this is really not going to end well. That pressure that builds when Glenn Close is on the rollercoaster with the kid…
I don’t know if this review will make sense, but that is the best way I can describe how this story made me feel.
Impressive and recommended to those who likes realistic horror…without the sex.
4.5 stars
03/04/2023
Blue Jay
by Megan Stockton
Are there any good, old fashioned macho men out there who still believe women can’t hang with the boys in the horror genre?
Well, let me paint a picture for you: This book is the equivalent of Andre the Giant getting stung by a bee on the middle finger, and after it has swollen to twice its normal size, shoving it straight up your ass and finger-fucking your stupidity out.
In a homage to the HOSTEL movies, this book takes you to the dark and dirty underground of depravity beyond your wildest nightmares, to a place where torture and murder is very real, and very, very scary.
Megan Stockton just rode in on her extreme horse and outshot the gunslinger, outdrank the town drunk and outgambled the card hustler. There is no make-up that can cover up these wounds, and this lady does not hold anything back.
Much like the movies I mentioned, this is one that is not there to entertain in the conventional sense. It sucker punches you in the ovaries (yes, it will make your testicles shrink to the point of embarrassment if you are a fella) until you want to vomit out your disgust in an eloquent tirade, because of the classy writing.
Shit – pardon me, but it is late at night and this book has cost me some sleep, so if nothing else makes sense about this review, know this:
If you are an extreme or Splatterpunk fan, you need to check this shit out as soon as possible.
Well fucking done, madame!
5 STARS!!
02/25/2023
American Cannibal
Anthology by Maenad Press
I like to be surprised. For something toward the end to just throw me off and make me say “I did NOT see that coming”.
And even though AMERICAN CANNIBAL has a stellar line up of talent, I was a little worried when I started reading it that I would become bored because, in the end, it would just be a cannibal story.
Shame on me!
Starting with Roanoke in the 16th century, these stories work their way up to the year 2000, and they all deal with American history.
This is an amazing anthology. Usually, when I read something like this, I will point out the highlight for me, which is usually a story or two that stood out.
In this one?
Seven!
That does not mean the others are bad, but if I had to pick my “favorite” story, I cannot decide between these:
WENDIGO DREAMS – Owl Goingback
THE HUNGRY WIVES OF BLEAK STREET – Gwendoline Kiste
AND THE WINDOW WAS BOARDED SHUT – Elizabeth Massie
THE FLANNIGAN CURE – EV Knight
ALL EARS – Clay McLeod Chapman
Y2K FEAST – Jeff Strand
THE LOST DIARY - Candace Nola (and for the record, I very rarely point out my “best” stories in an anthology when it was written by a close friend, but I dare you to prove me wrong. This story is absolutely superb.)
5 STARS easy!
02/18/2023
Demonic
By Jeff Strand
It is a story as old as time, so let’s do this review with a musical soundtrack.
This is Corey. Just a normal guy.
Cue:
“Here’s a little song I wrote,
You might wanna sing it note for note,
Don’t worry,
Be Happy.”
DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY by Bobby McFerrin
He meets Quinn at work and falls in love.
Cue:
“What started out as friendship has grown stronger,
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.”
CAN’T FIGHT THIS FEELING by REO Speedwagon
But she is in an abusive relationship.
Cue:
“Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?”
HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO by Bonnie Tyler
And, even worse, he’s a serial killer!
Cue:
“I will drive past your house,
And if the lights are all down,
I’ll see who’s around.”
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER by Blondie
But what can an average guy like Corey do?
Cue:
“That’s the terror of knowing what this world is about.”
UNDER PRESSURE by David Bowie and Queen
Well, there’s only one thing to do: Kill him!
Cue:
“Because I’m hyped up, out of control,
If it’s a fight, I’m ready to go,
I wouldn’t put my money on the other guy,
If you know what I know that I know.”
YOU’RE GOING DOWN by Sick Puppies
But there’s only one problem…the husband doesn’t want to die!
Cue:
“I get knocked down, but I get up again,
You are never gonna keep me down.”
TUBTHUMPING by Chumbawamba
And now it’s too late to turn back.
Cue:
“Please forgive me,
I know not what I do.”
PLEASE FORGIVE ME by Brian Adams
And from there, I can’t say anything that won’t spoil it.
Except, maybe:
Cue:
“Getadelt wird wer Schmerzen kennt
Vom Feuer das die Haut verbrennt
Ich werf' ein Licht
In mein Gesicht
Mein heißer Schrei
Feuer frei!”
FEUER FREI by Rammstein.
***
I loved everything about this. Strand at his absolute best!
Best Quote:
“I’d say that I picked up my pace, but I was already running at full speed, so I kept running ast the same speed but with more urgency.”
5 STARS
02/11/2023
INCEL
By Matt Duchossoy
What is an incel?
Nope, not someone who is incarcerated. Nor an intelligent celebrity. Or even the inner part of a molecular structure that can only be seen microscopically with Indian ink staining under a x100 lens, like Cryptococcus neoformans, for example.
To be honest with you, I had no idea. I thought it was just a modern insult, like ‘nerd’ was in my day, but it actually represents a lot more. And, before this story, I have never heard the term “foid” or knew anything about “the blackpill ideology”. And this story, though it is fiction, gives you quite the education about the thought processes and world perception of this fringe group. Which should tell you that the author went the extra mile to do the research.
But what the fuck does incel mean?!
Stop yelling, it is time for your inside voice.
Incel is a shortened version of “Involuntary celibate”. Now, I do feel a lot of sympathy for people who can’t get any (I mean, ever) and for those who are socially too awkward to find a bond with others – I have never done well in social situations, though I manage my way through it for the most part, so I can understand the difficulty.
And it does bring up the question:
How much is society to blame for creating their own monsters?
Of course, I am not about to go on a rant here, but I finished this book a few days ago and decided to give it some time before I write the review. It stays with you, which means the author has done his job well, and it certainly ticks most of the boxes.
While the psychology plays a large part in this story and it might feel like a slow burn to some (I think it is short enough not to be too bothersome to most), it gets really dark, really fast toward the end.
This was the first time I have read this author, even though his name has been on my radar for a while, and he impressed me greatly.
I recommend this to horror lovers who likes the psychological aspect, as well as the character aspect, with enough gore at the end to make it worthwhile for most.
And, as a final note to the author, the first person worked brilliantly – you did well not to change it to third.
5 Stars
02/11/2023
When You Become A Body
By Michelle von Eschen
Now, we are all going to die.
But there’s no reason to threaten your loved ones with a seemingly endless supply of lasagna.
So what if…hmm, are you into DIY, perhaps? Do you prefer to get shit done at home, rather than going out and having to deal with…well, people? I mean, why wait, right?
You can get everything delivered these days, you know. So why make it any more difficult on yourself or the ones you love when you pass? If they follow all the instructions, they can have half the day to themselves. Take an afternoon nap or whatever.
They won’t even have to worry about food – everything will be taken care of.
This was unexpected – I thought this story was brilliantly told, especially considering the subject matter. And the humor!
Keep your eye on this author’s work.
5 Stars!
02/04/2023
TALIA 2
By Daniel Volpe
Look at that KillerBunny on the cover of the latest Daniel Volpe story!
So much lube…um, blood…and smut may make you want to steer clear of this gory, extreme novella. I know your standards are so much higher than that. Just go ahead, feast your eyes on something more worthy.
And then you can go to https://www.djvhorror.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email and order this in secret – he won’t tell anyone, you can trust him – and read it when nobody is watching and judging you for enjoying it.
Because Talia is back, and she is about to bring vengeance upon the worthy like she is channeling Samuel L. Jackson motherfuckers!
Who doesn’t like to see the bad guys bleed?
Trigger warnings! Extreme horror! Fantastic!
5 Stars
01/28/2023
Miracles for Masochists
By James Carlson & Michael R. Collins
There’s a little backstory before I get to the review.
Last year, I read a short story by James G. Carlson—my first by this author. What struck me was his writing style, and I thought to myself:
Self, this is the way you would have written this story. Maybe you two are likeminded about more than just the style of writing…
So, I sent him a message and introduced myself, and told him that I liked his writing style, and if he has anything that releases in the future, I would love to review it for him.
To which he replied:
Are you fucking trying to scam me with something here, asshole?
Okay, that’s a lie, just making sure you are still paying attention. He was actually very nice and told me there was something coming out early in 2023.
And this is that product.
Now, it is a very good thing I never added the words “Ooh, you write like me!” because I was way, way off.
Mr. Carlson is waaayyyy more versatile in his writing than I could ever wish to be. And by saying that I am not taking away anything from the other author, Michael R. Collins.
So, these two gents released a very diverse book here. I’m not even sure if I could place them all in the same genre. This, of course, will always be a double-bladed sword, in my opinion. Because not every story resonated with me (I do have a limited taste when it comes to certain things, to which I freely admit), I find it difficult to express how well I thought the writing was. These guys are immensely talented authors, who don’t limit themselves to a single or even double road in their writing. Theirs is a highway of ideas, and I have the greatest respect for that.
And with that out of the way, I have to tell you that, hands down, this has got to contain one of the funniest haunting stories I have ever read. I very rarely claim that anything could be the “best” or “funniest”, because I believe if you use it too often, it kind of loses its meaning. But in this case, I will go out on a limb and plant my metaphorical flag—this book is worth its price for that story alone. Everything else is just a bonus.
I give this collection a rating of 4 Stars, with a very highly recommended sticker…which you have to use your imagination for.
01/24/2023
This One Door
By Ash Ericmore
Well, yes, there is the fact that you shouldn’t steal. But does anybody truly deserves this?
You know the saying if it looks too good to be true, there might be a reason for it? Or, if it looks like a dog and smells like a dog, and you love dogs, there’s a reason why the owner called it Killer, stupid! Don’t worry, no real animals were hurt in this story.
This one was not my favorite by the author, but it might have something to do with the fact that I like my horror a little more grounded, and this had a very dreamlike quality to it. The writing was solid – as you would expect from this author – and I did like the ending.
So I will give it 3.5 STARS for my personal taste, but highly recommend it to people who like their horror nightmarishly psychedelic.
01/24/2023
Cult Killing Monsters
By Ash Ericmore
So, my son is eight years old at the moment.
My wife has been threatening, when he turns ten, to get him a picture book of genitals with a venereal disease, just in case the hormones kicks in.
This is the book I am thinking to get him on his tenth birthday.
My wife’s gift will probably give him less issues…
Loved this quote:
“…so I don’t know if he’s dead, unconscious, or has the pain tolerance of a woman.”
4 STARS!
01/14/2023
Black Hearts and Red Teeth
By Daniel Volpe
A GIFT OF DEATH by Daniel Volpe was one of the better vampire novels I have read in the last decade. Combining metal and fangs made for a pretty gory picture you could almost headbang to.
So, when I heard there was a follow up coming in 2022, I was looking forward to it as much as I do any new Volpe story…think of it this way, it’s like a beautiful woman telling you she bought this really sexy lingerie that barely covers any of the naughty bits, and she was going to wear it at a later stage.
BLACK HEARTS AND RED TEETH picks up right where AGOD ended, and for those of you who haven’t read the first one, this limits me to what exactly I can tell you about the story without giving anything away, so my advice would be to read them in order to get the most out of it.
What I can tell you is that there are vampires and there are vampire hunters. And, as you would expect, there are victims and victims. But who will you be rooting for by the end of this one?
Solid 4 STARS.
01/07/2023
U-Turns: The Girl In The Cellar
By Matt Shaw & Aron Beauregard
Yes.
This is about as much as I need to say.
I respect both authors, but what Aron Beauregard did with this story in the second part, elevated this bitch into the EPIC fucking stratosphere.
I LOVED everything about this story.
So, yes.
5 STARS!!!!!
01/07/2023
Food Mise en place
By Jeffrey Caston
Before I begin my review, let me assure you that there are no mice that gets eaten in this story. If you thought there were, I will withhold my comments about proper punctuation and spelling, and just give you the reassurance that you actually helped your uncle Jack TO CLIMB off the horse.
This book is witnessed from two different sides.
On one hand, you have the Royals and their version of running the ‘Utopian’ world through tyranny and fear – think of that one place in GAME OF THRONES where the *** did the *** with the ***.
On the other, you have this loving husband and wife, trying to escape the hell hole they are living in for a future they can only imagine, but the road is full of perils and they could die and disappear in the blink of an eye – think of finding yourself in the middle of Macy’s at Herald’s Square on Black Friday. The odds of survival will never be in your favor!
The FOOD series is not in-your-face horror but make no mistake about it when I tell you that it falls well on the more extreme side – just with a little more sophistication for the foodies out there.
4.5 STARS
12/26/2022
dreamwhispers
By m ennenbach
“I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.”
John Keating – DEAD POETS SOCIETY
There was a time in my life when I read a fair number of non-fiction books. I think I read two about lateral thinking, maybe fifteen to twenty years ago. They have this exercise fairly early, where they give you a square and ask you how you can divide it into four equal pieces.
You can make four smaller squares, four triangles and four rectangles – those are the ones that pop into your head.
But there are no rules given, no restrictions whatsoever, yet most people don’t stop there. But if you take, instead of straight lines, four lightning bolts to break it up, it is still possible to uphold the requirement. And if you let your mind go, there are a million different ways to do actually do it.
Later on, I heard people referring to lateral thinking as ‘thinking outside the box’, a saying I will use but don’t prefer, since it brings to mind an image of a literal box, which just adds a restriction to totally free thought.
Or am I just using suggestion to keep a square image in your mind as you read this review?
Okay, I will come clean – what you just read is a kind of test, only for yourself. If you thought about a square image the entire time – whether it be a cube and four lines on a piece of paper – did you ever think of resting it on a corner and having a diamond-like image in your head this entire time? It is still a square, but if you look at it in a different way, you are not restricted to the ‘box’ image.
And that’s the point I am (finally) getting at – Mike Ennenbach sees the world in a different way than most. While we may be looking at exactly the same thing, we don’t see it the same way. And that’s where this author’s power lies. Whether it be a fairytale or sci-fi, he will show you images you haven’t seen before.
And he is very good with words.
While he has a reputation as a poet, this book has stories, with the occasional poem thrown in, so don’t let that prevent you from having a look. Do not let words like ‘speculative’ or ‘transgressive’ scare you, either – there’s bound to be something for a horror reader in here.
I rated each story and worked out the average, which came to about 4.16, so I am rating this entire book as 4 solid stars.
Recommended to horror fans.
4 STARS
12/17/2022
3:33
By Mark Towse
Mark Towse is a cheeky fella – an Englishman who lives down-under, and who would love to write full time.
I will be the first to admit that the cover got my attention immediately, and as I tend to do a lot these days, I decided to go into this one blind. Not that the blurb gave too much away, in hindsight. Because this is a story about a very exclusive club, where you can only go by invitation and don’t need any money.
That’s right – total fiction for me. I don’t get invited anywhere, because I am totally awkward and anti-social. It is not a complaint – please don’t get me wrong – I might actually be bragging a bit. It saves so much time having to come up with a plausible excuse not to go, you know?
And when I was into the story a little, I thought to myself that this will be story I have read before. While the details might differ, the main idea would be the same.
And then Towse wagged his imaginary finger at me and said tsk, tsk, tsk…
I love this author’s humor (for the Americans), and humour (for the others), and his writing is half decent, too. So, yes, this one is well worth the read for any horror fan.
Oh yes, there might be a bonus short at the end…
5 STARS!
12/10/2022
Earth vs The Star Mummy
By Lucas Mangum
50’s horror movies were so…unique?
The reasons why the children of today can’t really appreciate it are vast, but I think the biggest problem might be that you had to let your imagination go. Back then, it wasn’t about special effects or believable monsters, it was just about fun. If you didn’t get into it and went along with the flaws, it would just be downright silly. Almost like watching pantomime, in a way? Or, without naming names, the powers that be hopes a political rally to be.
But if you take that talents of one Lucas Mangum and test his parental skills by asking him to write a story about a mommy, he might misunderstand you and write something along the lines of a 50’s style horror movie.
Yet, he can be forgiven, because this story was so much fun and, if you add the ads that were equally hilarious and fucking with your mind about the story a little, you have a winner on your hands.
Although this story stands alone, it was a 10-day novella challenge – meaning you start writing day 1 and you publish an already edited story day 10 – with Candace Nola and Judith Sonnet.
You can find their stories here:
Candace Nola
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BN97FPFS
Judith Sonnet
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BNSQZPQD
5 STARS
12/10/2022
Earth vs The Lava Spiders
by Candace Nola
Itsy Bitsy Spider,
Went up the waterspout,
Down came the…
Wait…what’s that?
Hey, Hound Dog, please go over there and have a look.
Is that…Goodness, gracious, Great Balls of Fire!
It’s time to Be-Bop-A-Lula,
To Shake, Rattle and Roll,
To Walk the Line…
And La Bamba?
Okay, I am out. I will just get my coat right now and ask you this:
Don’t be cruel.
50’s Horror movie fun for all the arachnophobes out there.
Although this story stands alone, it was a 10-day novella challenge – meaning you start writing day 1 and you publish an already edited story day 10 – with Lucas Mangum and Judith Sonnet.
You can find their stories here:
Lucas Mangum
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BN8T54WH
Judith Sonnet
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BNSQZPQD
4.5 Stars
12/04/2022
Return of the Living Elves
by Brian Asman
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the warehouse
Not a thing was stirring
Not even an elf.
Yet when Tommy and Jimmy
Looking for a last minute gift
Unleash something evil
Can they survive their shift?
There will blood
There will be gore
When elf-zombie hybrids
Knock down the door
So be prepared
When you read this rarity
For Asman’s story
Is filled with gory hilarity.
5 STARS!!!!!
12/04/2022
Trapped: A Dark Dozen Anthology
Edited & curated by Candace Nola
In 2021, Candace Nola got a dozen authors together and, along with herself, compiled the Splatterpunk award winning anthology BAKER’S DOZEN.
In 2022, she brought together twelve up-and-coming authors to compile another anthology. Obviously a glutton for punishment, since she learned how much work it will be to compile one of these things, and on top of her editing, reviewing and own writing, she obviously is just too stubborn to give up.
TRAPPED is a high-quality work of fiction that, even though there was a common theme, is so diverse and imaginative, there should be something in there for everyone.
Of the twelve stories, I thought nine were good, but there are two that surpass the others, and I want to highlight them:
STAYCATION by Brian Asman is just so fucking awesome! I am not going to give you any details here, but I will go as far as to say that it planted a seed for a story I hope to be able to write in the future. Once you get it—happened on the first page for me—you will see why I am almost giddy about sharing it with everyone.
AISLE FOUR by Jae Mazer is bleak, dark and utterly fucking brilliant. It blew me away and I want to read more of this author’s work!
4.5 STARS
11/26/2022
Reg. E. Rat
By Frank Edler
Frank Edler, if you haven’t read his work, has got a very unique way of looking at the world. While his stories can be more on the bizzaro side and not always the type of things I like to read, he is a really funny guy who can make me laugh most of the time.
Now, I am not going to beat around the bush with this, REG E. RAT will not fall in some people’s taste. There are elements that might touch on the extreme side in this story, especially since there are kids that will die (I know, I know, how dare thee slaughter thy innocent little heathens and all), but there are elements that is such silly fun, anyone who takes this too seriously can only blame themselves if they take offense. For example, I love animals, but I can still enjoy a Warner Bros cartoon just as much as my kid.
And there is a part of me that wants to say this would have been too silly for my taste in places, but after an extended period of extreme horror and needing something different, this was almost therapeutic in a way. And for that I feel like the author more than did his job, which is why I want to rate this one 4.3141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592 stars.
If you are looking for some silly, violent fun, this will be right up your alley.
4 STARS
11/20/2022
Playground
By Aron Beauregard
If you don’t know Aron Beauregard’s work, let me sum it up for you:
Hrrupppphhhgghaarrrmmmnnnaaaaheee.
Aron’s work is hard to describe because, yes, it is sick, twisted, brutal and extreme, but he is also a story teller. The fact that he pushes the reader makes it easy for some to think of him as someone who relies on shock and disgust to sell his stories, but if you remove the make-up and look at the bare, naked tale, it is usually a damn good story.
And PLAYGROUND…well…
Years ago, I was going through a movie slump, when I saw the preview for a new movie during a coffee break while doing night shift, which made me sit up and go:
I have to go and watch this the moment it comes out!
I did, and it became one of my top 5 movies ever. The concept, while simple, was utterly brilliant and superbly executed.
I am referring to the first SAW movie.
You will see some parallels with that movie when you read this one, but it is hard to imagine how far the author went with this one. If this was made into a movie, it would never see the light of day. It is SAW on steroids to the AAHHHHH degree.
The characters are well fleshed out, the story makes sense, but deep inside all the gore there is a commentary about parenthood and the ills of the world we live in. Psychologically speaking, this is a study in all that can be done incorrectly to a child.
In my opinion, this is the author’s best work to date.
Recommended to extreme and Splatterpunk fans only.
5 STARS!
11/19/2022
The Pig
By Ed Lee
My fellow Virgins,
This is not a cookbook, as I had originally thought.
Instead, this is a book where everything gross and rotten gets thrown into a perverted concoction of a sick, twisted broth of disgusting fornication – on camera, I must add – where nothing is off limits. Just take my word for it, I had to read this with a dictionary (real and urban) to find out what most of these terms meant. And then I had to write a stern letter that there are even people who are willing to put this filth in a respected and noble publication that is meant to educate.
I will not go into details. I refuse to lower myself to this level of indecency. But after reading this book, I now know that there are way more positions in which humans do the dirty deed than the three we are all made aware of. Darn it, that just brought up a mental picture and I need a lie down.
Right, I am back to finish this letter. Sorry about that, but I might just need to go and see a professional about these vivid images of abnormality this writer implanted in my brain.
Please, my fellow abstinence soldiers, do not read this vile, disgusting story. It has pushed me to the point where I can’t even look an animal in the eye anymore. This will destroy your fragile little mind. For someone to even think up this filth makes me ashamed to be a human being.
For shame, Mr. Lee, you need electro therapy very badly to make you normal again.
5 STARS
Header
By Ed Lee
What is a Header?
You know when you get really drunk, so much so that you lose all control of your body, and you fall forward in a face-plant, and the dog just so happens to be running in front of you at that very moment, and you meet head to head, cracking each other’s skulls, and the dog retaliates by ripping your throat out as its final act of vengeance, and you both die in what will later be ruled a murder-suicide by the dog, because you couldn’t possibly rip your own throat out with your teeth, and they cremate you but bury the dog, and it comes back to haunt those who so erroneously blamed it for your death?
Yeah, it’s not that.
You know when you jump out of a plane and your parachute won’t open, so you see a river and dry land, and even though you know at the speed at which you are falling the water will probably just as hard as the ground, but you have to try your luck, so you point your head in the direction of the river, and just before you hit the water the crocodile jumps out and snags you, killing you instantly, and since your name is written on the unopened parachute that the crocodile chokes on, your family gets a nature preservation fine for what will be called a botched attempt at illegal crocodile hunting?
Yeah, not that either.
You know when you get drunk at a party and you lose your glasses, and foolishly decide to drive home, and you lose control of your car, and in a last ditch effort to minimize the damage, head toward the cows grazing in the field, realizing too late that there are no fields in the city, and smash into this mural against a building where homeless people take shelter, and the story goes down as a hate-crime in the media and you get sued posthumously by an entire city?
Still no.
You are overthinking it.
Take some hill folk and a drill…and you still can’t imagine what happens. So just read this damn story.
WARNING: Extreme horror warning.
5 STARS
11/05/2022
God's Leftovers
By Grant Wamack
The desert can do strange things to your head, you know. Some might call it heatstroke, others might call it a mirage or hallucination, but if you look hard enough, you will spot some crazy-ass shit everywhere.
Look east and you will see a man on horseback. You might not know him, but you do know he is a selfish bastard. I mean, who crosses the desert without giving their horse a name?
Look west and you might spot a guy running around with a fedora style hat and a whip, though you can’t be sure if he is running from or toward something.
Look south and you can see a short guy with a big, red moustache, running backwards in front of a camel, calling it a humped-back mule, lifting a gun over his head and warning the animal that when he said whoa, he meant…ouch. Well, that stopped it.
Look to the north and spot the rock. No, not just any rock, but The Rock. And he’s chasing a…no-no, not a heavily bandaged hospital patient, but probably something like a Mummy.
Now, at this point in time, I am going to say that if you didn’t get any of that, you are at least one generation younger than me. Some will enjoy that, while others will ask Google some really random questions shortly.
But this is supposed to be a book review, so let’s get back to this one. Wamack is a very good writer, I will give him that. Within a few pages, it seemed like this story will be a love-letter to THE HILLS HAVE EYES–which happens to be one of my all-time favorite horror movies.
And I am giving an honest opinion here. The story went a way I didn’t expect, and it just wasn’t for my personal taste. The moment it took a supernatural angle, it lost me. That piss-in-your-pants fear got lost—that’s what made the damn movie so great!
I may be biased because of the movie reference, I will readily admit that.
For the writing, it is a very strong four stars, but since the story didn’t work for me I have to bring it down to a 3.5—I will still recommend it to those who happen to like supernatural horror of the brutal kind, especially when it involves cults.
3.5 Stars
10/22/2022
The Warrior Retreat
By John Lynch
I am going to start this review by saying that I do not have a single funny thing to say here.
John Lynch wrote a horror story about ex-soldiers with PTSD and while some might consider this an extreme idea of the worst-case scenario, who can say that something like this is not plausible.
It is a heavy story, in my opinion, because the reality is that men who go to war will come back changed. How can they not?
And while this story doesn’t address it as the main issue, how can the people who made them what they are not help them when they don’t need to be those killing machines anymore?
This is the way the world works:
The men who make the decisions to fight are not the men who are doing the fighting. They can throw words like ‘pride’ and ‘honor’ out there all they want; in the end they will destroy all that is honorable by discarding those who enriched their pockets.
I hate war. I stopped believing the good guys will win. But if you look at the situation in Asia at the moment, you have to take a step back and think to yourself that those who were invaded are not fighting for pride and honor, but survival.
Should the world help them? Of course, they have to! If they don’t, it will not stop. The bully will never have enough, and the longer he gets away with it, the more damage he will do. It is not in your backyard, yet, but it will get there.
I have deleted most of what I originally wrote in this review, because this story is not about my views of what goes on in the world. This is a story of why it is important to help those who did what their country asked of them.
I hope people will be able to look past the horror aspect of the book into the deeper story underneath.
5 Stars!
10/15/2022
The Death House
By Joshua MacMillan
Releasing End of October!
This is the second thing I’ve read by this author, and I can tell you one thing with certainty:
This guy writes clean.
What do I mean by that?
Well, shit, I have been trying to come up with a way to describe what I am saying, and the best I could come up with is…
Imagine an author standing in front of a curtain, describing what is behind it. Some would say:
It is a clown.
Everybody in the audience will immediately get a picture in their heads of a clown, but not necessarily the same one. Some might think of IT, some might think of TERRIFIER, some may think of a politician.
Others would tell you:
It is a clown. His hair is this color, his clothes are this color, his shoes are big, his nose is red and he has a smiley face painted on.
Most people will have an idea of what the clown looks like, but the picture in their heads will still come down to personal experiences.
A clean writer, like MacMillan, will say:
It is Ronald MacDonald.
Everybody will know what he is trying to show them, without being over descriptive.
I get the feeling that Joshua has the ability to show the reader a picture of what he has in his head. This is a talent and, if I had it, I probably would not have needed the long description you’ve just read.
In this story, THE DEATH HOUSE, we are dealing with a forbidden, top secret haunted house attraction that is, quite obviously, much more dangerous and sinister than the people who enters it might expect.
And I am not going to say much more than that – read the blurb and then read the story.
However, I just have to go on the record and say that I had this sort of epiphany when I read this book. Something like this will never happen to me.
Why?
Because I am way too paranoid to fall for something like this. If someone invites me anywhere, I immediately become suspicious.
Why would they do something like that? I’m not interesting enough to want around. Oh, and it’s a secret, you say? A once in a lifetime opportunity to experience what only a lucky few have gone through before…
Right.
So, how many people do you think were hung from a tree with a gimp mask while slowly being eaten by a crocodile and a birthday candle shoved up their ass?
Not many. Damn right! They also had a once in a lifetime opportunity, sir.
You see, what you fail to realize is that the moment I set my feet out my front door, I live my life like I am about to become a victim in a horror story. Expect the unexpected, don’t trust anyone and never, ever relax…
But, enough about me. This book is more brutal than I expected from this author, though not to the extent that it should shock the hardcore horror readers.
Very solid 4.5 STARS
10/08/2022
How To Sell A Haunted House
By Grady Hendrix
When it comes to characterization, a good author can make his characters believable in their actions
and dialogue. A great author can make you wonder if he actually lived their lives. Guess where Hendrix
falls…
Look, I am going to get this out of the way at the start: This is a 400-page novel with a lot of character
development. For those who are looking for a fast, back-to-back action story, this one is going to annoy
you. You become part of these characters’ lives before the horror starts.
Also, while there is still some humor here, it might be little less than the usual Grady Hendrix story.
There might be more of an ‘adult’ feel for those who have judged his previous work as not serious
enough for their taste.
And that’s where I am going to draw my line in the sand:
While this is the longest (and probably slowest) story I have read this year, I thought it was fucking
brilliant. The second half of this novel picks up the pace and action, and it makes the journey with the
characters worthwhile.
So…in this one we have puppets. While some might say it is a lost art form, most people don’t get the appeal in the digital age anymore. Which might make it hard for some people to relate – the relationship between puppet and human, that is – and the magic it can create.
And I have to admit, I am not one who can get swept up in puppet magic. But, for everything you don’t get about art, there are always the exceptions to the rules.
What’s the point I’m trying to make, you ask? Somewhere, out there, beneath the…oops, getting carried away.
Okay, let’s take something that is generally considered…well, shit?
Mimes.
Now, you only get three kinds of people in the world.
The first hates mimes.
The seconds don’t hate them, but if their car lost control and they were about to plunge into a crowd of people, they will be aiming for the mime.
The third are mimes themselves, who would fall into the first category because they hate the competition, but they have an intense love of themselves.
However, have you heard of David Armand?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPlSWKIoQig
(For those of you who couldn’t see the link, Google “David Armand Torn”)
What this guy has done with famous songs is beyond hilarious. I have watched this about a thousand times, and it never stopped being funny. Do yourself a favor, watch his other stuff on YouTube too – he is brilliant! In fact, I am willing to bet that most people who have seen him will swerve away from him if they are the second person and aim for James Blunt…okay, bad example, most people will aim for him to start with, but let’s not offend any fans of other celebrities…
So, whether you like mimes (secretly, of course) or not, this guy is entertaining enough to become famous for miming and I think he is brilliant.
And the secret is this; write a story about a mime getting killed and most readers would not care. But write a character like David Armand getting killed and the fans will riot.
Which brings me back to my point (finally) – I don’t care for puppets or puppeteers, really, but I cared about every single one of these characters in this book.
And that’s what Grady Hendrix does so well, especially in this story.
I’m not going to say much more – read the blurb, heed my warning and don’t bitch about this one taking
a while to get going. For the story that was told, I can’t think of anyone being able to do it better.
5 and a half STARS
10/08/2022
Wounds To Wishes
Published by Crystal Lake Publishing
Many will tell you about the power of love – above all – but hate is not the opposite. Hate still gives you
strength – the power to fight, if you will. Grief is the emotion that will destroy you. Loss, that which is
completely out of your hands, the knowledge that you can never get back what is gone, that part of your
soul that hurts in a way there is just no release from.
People build up walls to prevent themselves from getting hurt like this, but it is not something we can
always control. You might think you are tough and keep everyone at bay, but the day your child gets
born nature gives you a big, fat middle finger. I will be the first to admit that I never thought I would be a
father because I would be awful at it.
The day my son was born was the proudest in my life – it beats the day I got married. I am not good with
kids and I still doubt myself a lot when I am parenting, but he is more important than anybody else in
the world. I can’t even imagine how any parent can go on living after they lose a child – yet it happens
every day. And yes, it scares me more than anything.
Depression, to those who have never experienced it, is beyond understanding. The day someone
decides to end their own life, they are trying to escape the constant pain their soul is in. There is a part
of me that gets upset when I hear people asking the question:
“How could you do this to me?”
They are the people who can’t imagine what that person was going through, what that person felt. If I
were less sensitive, I would point out that the way they are feeling at that very moment was probably
the way that person felt all the time.
If it sounds like I am judging, my apologies. The point I am trying to convey here is that grief, as an
emotion, can overrule all others. I respect each and everyone who manages to work their way through
it, and I can only hope that those who are in the worst part of it finds their way through. I know it
doesn’t help to say that there are people out there who understands and have gone through it before,
but I hope it helps to say that there are people out there who you can talk to and they will not judge you
because they understand.
I am a fan of all three these authors and, if the first part of my review didn’t give you a clue, this is not
your typical “scare the crap out of people” horror book. It deals with heavy subjects and centers on
emotion above all else. So, get ready to feel with this one.
Each story is a five-star story in its own right – it took me a few days to come to this conclusion.
However, I am going to give this one a 4.5 Star rating. The first two stories by Lutzke and Ford gelled so
well together, I expected the third from Boden to do the same. I felt a little disappointed when it didn’t.
It wasn’t bad or worse than the other two, it was just separate.
So, here is my advice:
If this is going to be your next read, treat the stories as separate entities. I would even go so far as to
advise that you read the first, then the third and then the second story – if you are worried about it.
However, highly recommended to those who wants to push their emotions into that raw part.
4.5 STARS
09/24/2022
The Drive-in
By Joe R. Lansdale
This was totally, completely, utterly different from what I expected – I went into this one on reputation, choosing not to read the blurb beyond the first sentence. What can I say – they had me at “Drive-in”.
What was the last movie you saw at the drive-in?
I can remember mine very well, because I was too young to see it at the movies and I convinced my parents to go on the first feature. It is also the start of my love affair with the King – PET SEMATARY.
Soon after that, all drive-ins in my country would be gone forever.
I feel kind of cheated in a way – I was not old enough to get up to all the kinky stuff I always saw in movies or read about in books – so the entire experience I have of these occasions are seen through very young and innocent eyes. Also, I never went there without my parents (again, the age thing), so it is something that I miss even though I never had the opportunity to experience it firsthand.
But back to the book:
Friday night at the movies, all the characters are there, it can only be great. Right?
Something happens (read the story) and the entire drive-in area becomes a world of their own. There is nothing else. It is just this space and these people, completely unprepared and without any answers.
And that’s when Lansdale goes hard into this post-apocalyptic vision where it is humanity and the breakdown into – well, nothing good can come from human nature when it becomes survival of the fittest, right?
The author does not hold back and, even though it is not close to being the kind of extreme you can get in Splatterpunk these days, he went further than I have read by him before.
What probably surprised me the most was this element which almost touched on bizarro in a way, if you take the evolution of the bad guy(s), but I won’t put it in that genre. At the core, this is fairly hardcore supernatural horror.
I did have some mixed emotions about this one, mostly because I have read other things by this author before and wasn’t expecting the end product, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. The writing is superb, the story is well thought out (be it weird) and I am going to push the rating up to 4.5, because it is only the first in a trilogy.
For now, highly recommended to those who are into supernatural horror that examines the breakdown into chaos of humanity, and those who like light elements of the bizarre.
4.5 STARS
09/17/2022
Brian's Birthday Bloodbath
By Brian Berry
There once was this kid that came into a guidance counsellor’s office.
GC: What can I do for you, son?
Kid: I don’t know what I want to do with my life.
GC: Well, what are you good at?
Kid: … (blush)
GC: Other than jerking off, I mean.
Kid: I like to be the center of attention.
GC: You’re too shy to act, kid.
Kid: I like to make people laugh.
GC: Really! Tell me more.
Kid: I can tell people the craziest, funniest stories with a straight face.
GC: Okay, okay…go on, a few things are coming up in my head.
Kid: Actually, that’s a lie. Only I find it funny. The other kids are all a little scared of me.
GC: Why is that?
Kid: I like to hurt people. Like…a lot.
GC: What else?
Kid: I will never admit to it. I will deny any wrongdoing until I die.
GC: Got it, kid. Here’s what you need to do. Develop all those skills and then become a politician someday.
Kid: But I don’t like people!
GC: Ex-act-lee!
Kid: Will I still be able to go to MacDonald’s every day?
GC: Oh, you’re one of those. Look, I don’t care how many people you hurt or even kill, but I draw the line at killing livestock.
Kid: But…
GC: No but’s. I want you to leave. You’re just like all the other heartless clowns. Now, fuck off, Ronald.
Kid: So, you’re saying clown, then?
Okay, this exchange has absolutely nothing to do with the book. But haven’t you ever wondered what makes people seek out to become a clown? Don’t get me wrong, you get good clowns too. I’m pretty sure there must be…laws of averages and all…
Anyway, in this book Brian just turned twelve and he is getting his crush as a babysitter. No, no, get your head out of the gutter, dirty birdy – not that kind of story.
It just so happens to be the same night after Bones the Clown has escaped from the asylum.
And their paths are about to cross.
Brian Berry – the writer, not the character – just went balls out, unapologetically hardcore, blood and gore with this one. His most extreme so far.
Recommended to extreme horror fans.
5 Stars
09/10/2022
Something Akin to Revulsion
by Judith Sonnet
Did the name Judith Sonnet really pop up only recently? All of a sudden, it seems like her work is everywhere in the extreme horror community.
Do you think she can steal your heart with her words? Probably. Along with your lungs, kidneys, spleen, eyes and anything else that can be sold on the black market. But that’s not the worst of it!
What can be worse – you wonder – than that?
It’s because she’ll laugh. Yes, not cackle hysterically, but laugh with the air of someone who knows something you don’t. She knows how to delve deep into your psyche to seek out the depravity you dare not even think of.
But enough of that.
There is a story in this collection that addresses something very close to her. And I am not going to address it, even though she discusses it – you can read the story if you want to know more – because it is NOT an issue.
What I do want to say, whether you need to hear it or not, is that in the extreme horror community, we are all a little different than the ‘normal’ people. We have all had our own traumas and hardships to deal with, which is why we seek out the stories that pushes the boundaries. There might be answers to our questions beyond the borders of the norm.
If everyone were to be judged on merit, regardless of personal beliefs and attributes, we might discover that most of our preconceptions are false. And in this community, most of us know just how wrong people are.
If you tolerate what you don’t understand, you might learn things about yourself. And if you find yourself in this community and still want to have prejudices about trivial and unimportant things, you best fuck off because you have overstayed your welcome.
I want to commend Judith for being so open about her life. And I want to congratulate her on developing her writing talents – I think she has found what she is meant to do with her future.
Warning: Extreme content, it will probably offend you.
4.5 Stars
09/10/2022
A Death at the Office 3
by Frank Edler
This series is hilarious. Just do yourself a favor, get these stories at godless.com for when you have had a stressful day, so you can sit back and relax with some silliness.
I don’t have much more to say that I haven’t said in my reviews of the previous two parts, but you might be surprised at some of the insightful observations this author makes.
For example:
“Office music needed to be mellow and unassuming. It had to have no artistic quality nor rhythm. Anything that got a toe tapping was a no-no. It had to appeal to everyone and by that very nature, it appealed to absolutely nobody.”
If you’ve ever had thoughts about office politics and how ridiculous some things can get, there will be something in here you will not only be able to relate to, but it might put a smile on your face.
e.g.
“Mr. Death grew suspicious of Harvey Death defending himself against accusations of stealing from The League when nobody had accused him of anything. Mr. Death decided he was guilty of having a guilty conscience and reassigned Harvey Death to the mailroom.”
Snap it up, have a laugh, enjoy yourself.
5 Stars
09/10/2022
5 Tales of Tantalizing Terror
by Patrick C. Harrison, III
Patrick C. Harrison III, or PC3 if you will, (just don’t call him Commodore 64), is a writer, editor, publisher and many other things (what, like I was gonna write his entire Bio again?) who has been building a solid reputation and following in the Indie horror community.
If you look at his photo, you may be forgiven if you wonder:
“Didn’t he write that sick book…what was it called…Doom? Groom? Schroom?”
For the record, it’s not.
But he can match Mr. Ralston with depravity and writing talent, making us wonder if this isn’t one of those Michael/Janet Jackson conspiracy theories where you never see the two of them together…hmm. Come on, somebody start that rumor!
I am obviously joking (or am I?), but I will not be opposed to buying a book on which these two have collaborated. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…
And that was the fun/funny part of this review…brought to you by Sony.
This book contains 5 tales that, at the core, has to do with fear. They are all well written and original, as you would expect from this author, but I must admit that my mind would drift every now and then, thinking about the things I fear.
You know The Rock? Big, strong man who people wouldn’t fuck with if they knew what was good for them?
I’m nothing like him. I’m more like the Kevin Hart of the relationship, only not as funny. Or as good a swimmer. Or as rich. Or as talented. Damn, I am beginning to think this was a bad analogy.
What I’m trying to get at is that I fear a lot of stuff. Some I will readily admit to:
Spiders, dentists, public speaking…
Others I keep inside. And those are the ones these stories let my mind drift toward. The primal fears that most of us don’t like to dwell on.
So, well done, PC3 – it was written well enough to evoke emotion, which is all any author could really ask for, right?
4.5 Stars
09/03/2022
Carnie
by Ash Ericmore
Why do Carnies always get such a bad rep?
They are there to entertain you, to come in and out of your life for a brief moment so you can have memories for the rest of your days. They don’t overstay their welcome and they don’t believe in long, drawn-out goodbyes. That in itself makes them better than half your family at Christmas.
Mia and her friend Sarah are going to the “Fear Factory” with two guys, but the line is so very long, so they have this idea to sneak in. And then things don’t go as planned.
Right, we have so much to discuss here.
Let’s start off with the carnival. You are willing to go to a place that is run by strangers, all disguised so you wouldn’t be able to identify any of them later. You were not born under a rock, so you know how badly Stephen King tried to warn you about these grown-ass people in make-up and costume, with crazy, unkept hair and alcoholic red noses, and shoe sizes that most probably give you a false impression of the family jewels…yet, you just say:
Maybe I will have fun…Bad things will never happen to me…John Wayne Gacy was into boys, so I don’t have the right equipment…
Then, you willingly go into a place they call the “Fear Factory”. And just because these people are not always known for their hygiene, doesn’t mean they are going to give you a cleaning nightmare. Sink full of dishes…oh no, the horror. They literally tell you they are going to try to scare the piss out of you…and who knows – since everything happens behind the scenes – maybe they will make you lick it up like you are Ozzy on a drug binge.
I am not calling you stupid at this point, you fucking idiot, because there’s more.
And then you get the bright idea to do some breaking and entering (you don’t actually have to break anything, I checked) into the lawless land of behind the tent-flap where nobody can see you, hear you, help you. And just for the record, you are probably not as well equipped for this situation as Mad Max would be, Dumb Dick.
I try to be as open minded as possible, people, but maybe you should read the shit that can happen to you when you act like a moron. Believe me, it gets very very bad for them, even worse than having to wash that sink full of dishes.
Ash Ericmore knows how to take you to that place where few others would venture.
Great, fast read – the first of a trilogy – but only recommended to extreme horror fans.
5 STARS
09/03/2022
Burning Down the Night
by Bryan Smith
It’s been a while since I’ve read a Bryan Smith story. Not because I didn’t want to, there are just so many stories I have to get to that some authors just go down in the maelstrom until I find them again.
I discovered his work very early on in my Kindle journey, and when I read DEPRAVED, it was truly the sickest thing I have come across up to the point in my life.
This story – while it starts on the same day as the death of a grunge rock Icon – is not about the grunge or music industry. Nor is it about said Icon. So straight off the bat, think of it like the Spike Lee movie SUMMER OF SAM, where it doesn’t really have anything to do with the killer at all, it just sets the background.
And then, if you will take one piece of advice from me, just suspend reality and go along for the ride. A case of mistaken identity in the worst possible way for slacker Cole Watson brings about a journey that is often hilarious, scary, unbelievable and over the night many will die.
There are excessive amounts of drinking in this story, and of course, there will be drugs, which will make him question his perceptions of reality, but will it all work out in the end?
I must admit, while this story is violent, it is not nearly as extreme as a lot of Smith’s stories I have read in the past, which shows me the author was more focused on trying to make the reader giggle rather than cringe.
So, if you are in the mood for some violent but lighter entertainment, this one should do you nicely.
4 STARS
08/27/2022
Freaky Briefs
by Jeff Strand
Everyone who follows my reviews know I am a huge fan of this writer. For me, his combination of humor and horror puts him right at the top of comedy-horror – and he now has a Stoker Award, so I am not the only one who feels that way.
Now, for those of you who has not subscribed to his monthly free newsletter – go ahead, do it right now: http://eepurl.com/bpv5br - he gives you an original short story every month. This is a compilation for those who need to catch up or those who just want to enjoy them all over again.
They are short, often violent, sometimes silly and always entertaining. With titles like THE DOUCHEBAG WHO RENEGED ON THE DEATH PACT; THE NIGHT I REALIZED HALFWAY TO THE PAVEMENT BELOW THAT I WAS NOT, IN FACT, SUPERMAN; THE SOUPVILLE STABBER PRACTICES SOCIAL DISTANCING and THE TRAGIC TALE OF SLAPPY McWANKERVILLE, to name but a few, I can promise you there will be belly laughs in this one.
Now, I am not going to lie and say that all 75 Short Absurdities worked for me, but I can forgive him the 3 that I thought was below par and tell you that, percentage wise, any book that can entertain me for 96% percent of the time is an absolute winner.
And I am going to end with a few quotes from the book:
“The Cavern of Wolves contained only one wolf, but it sounded scarier plural.”
“I’m going to do everything in my power to make my severed head say something creepy. It’ll haunt you forever. I may even cackle. Are you secure enough in your sanity that you can handle a severed head cackling at you?”
“I’m not a monster. I understand that these bugs are just trying to get through the day, like anybody else. They have families. And drowning is a horrific way to die. So, when I stop cackling, I make sure to lower my head in prayer.”
Just get this one and, every time you have to put it down, imagine Jeff Strand standing in the arena in a skirt, screaming:
“Are you not entertained?!”
5 STARS
08/27/2022
Den of the Wererats
by Terry Miller
Not since the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES have there been a likable rat character in fiction. Fortunately, this book doesn’t change that. But it does amp up the creepy factor for these dirty rats when they can become Wererats.
So, I know what you are thinking:
If there are Wererats, there will probably be Werecats, owned by Werewitches who wields Werebrooms, trying to protect the Werecheese…
Do not – and let me repeat this – do NOT mistake this subject matter as cartoonish in the least. Terry Miller goes dark with this one, not only with the violence but also with some general ideas about the nature of rats.
And it escalates like a dirty joke to the HR department – before you know it, things are out of control.
I liked this story, it turned out better than I thought it would, and I did discuss the one thing about the writing that bothered me a bit with the author…who assured me there might be more to this story in the future.
4 STARS
08/20/2022
Counting Bodies Like Sheep
The Evil Cookie Publishing
COUNTING BODIES LIKE SHEEP is an anthology that brings together some enormous talent in the horror industry and you will not be disappointed when you pick this one up. Cruel, bloody, sadistic and even a little weirdness, makes this the perfect wedding gift for that special person who doesn’t want to marry you…
From Ed Lee and Christine Morgan to Armand Rosamilia and Stephen Kozeniewski, not to mention LaValley and Volpe, and others who are making a name for themselves, there will be something in there for your sick and depraved taste.
All of these stories are entertaining, but there are two I have to put right at the top:
SHITS ‘N GIGGLES by Bridgett Nelson was so terribly dark, yet if you work with doctors long enough, such things don’t always seem as unlikely as you might think.
BODY DROP by Gerard Houarner took me by surprise – in a very good way. I loved the idea and I adored the way it was written.
5 Stars!
08/20/2022
Brady
D. W. Hitz
When it comes to horror, I always tread carefully with animals. That is my line in the sand – I can’t do animal torture. And I can tell you, with great relief, how that is not something you have to worry about in this book.
BRADY is a good dog. Or was.
The book starts right after Karl has buried his beloved pet.
And then this story goes supernatural in a very big way.
This was the first story I have read by D.W. Hitz and it is an absolute joy to see how skilled he is with his craft. He grabs you early on and holds your attention throughout.
The only complaint I have is, toward the end, there was only one possible way this story could end – but it was still a lot of fun getting there.
Well written and recommended to horror readers.
4 STARS
08/06/2022
The Summer I Died
By Ryan C. Thomas
You need three words to describe this book:
BRU-FUCKIN-TAL!
“We had set out to shoot beer cans and smoke weed, just two friends trying to hold onto a childhood that was slowly disintegrating with age.”
Every now and then, every reader gets the urge to just go back to the classics. This is an itch that was long overdue a scratching.
Look up a list about the best extreme books and you will find this one on there – or you should, if the list-maker did their homework. Which brings me to one of the books that has been on my wish list the longest – ever since I learned about extreme and Splatterpunk horror.
And, man, this one deserves its spot in spades. From the 30% mark this story is one, long adrenaline rush. Before 50% you will have lost hope for these characters. They are fucked: There is no way out of this.
Then comes a glimmer of hope…but there is so much more story left to read, so…
The way this author keeps you in suspense throughout is nothing short of brilliant. If you are a fan of this genre and you haven’t read this one yet, you are missing out. For me, this one gave me the same rush as Ketchum’s OFF SEASON – It is that damn good!
5 and a half stars!
8/06/2022
Your English is Good
by Colt Skinner
If I am not mistaken, this is the first Emerge story published.
Colt Skinner created two very interesting characters here – Melody and Eddy – and the idea is good. I think you’ll benefit from going into this one blind – I don’t want to give any spoilers. What I will say, just to nudge you in the right direction, is that the name F. Paul Wilson popped up in my head. I am not sure how accurate that is, since I haven’t read anything by him in many, many years – but something about the gritty character that is Eddy just made that connection. If I happen to be wrong, please read the story and give me feedback on who this writing style reminds you of.
The good news is that Eddy will be in a new story that will be published next year – I mailed the author and told him I think the character is good enough to develop more, and he assured me that is the plan.
Solid 4 Stars, closer to 4.5
07/23/2022
House of Perversion 1 & 2
by Carl John Lee
Book One:
I went into this one blind.
I mean totally, completely without any information.
The follow-up to this story has been released (I saw a picture of the cover on FB and one of my friends shared it on his feed) and I wanted to get that, so I got both to make sure I don’t miss anything, just to get the feel for the writer.
“I think you've overstayed your welcome in
So go the fuck away, don't come again
I'll see your face in the fire and burn it out”
LIKE A VILLIAN – Bad Omens
Well, Mr. Lee, you have ruined a night’s sleep for me. Why? Because I could not put this fucking book down. I did not want to stop once I started – it is just a brilliant supernatural revenge story.
I want you to go into this one blind as well – maybe you’ll get the enjoyment I did from it. Just know this – it is based on a screenplay the author wrote in the 70’s for Exploitation cinema. There’s lots of sex and blood and nastiness going on in this one, so don’t think because it was written nearly half a century ago that he holds anything back.
5 STARS
Book 2:
So this was book number 2.
You know, I have other books I need to review, but the first one impressed me so much that I HAD to read this one next.
Are you familiar with Roger Corman and the exploitation films of the 70’s? If you are too young, let’s just say lots of sex, drugs and horror – but better than most people might expect…sometimes.
Carl John Lee was greatly inspired by this man and these films, and he worked in the movie business as a screenwriter from the seventies. Two weeks ago, I have never heard of him. But, DAAAMMMNNN! The two HORROR HOUSE OF PERVERSION books blew me away. And to think they are based on screenplays he wrote more than 40 years ago is almost beyond belief.
The second book includes a band (I got a real Alice Cooper type of concert feeling) and groupies, and a compound in the middle of nowhere, and all types of debauchery happening inside. And then things start going wrong for the groupies, and by the halfway point you think to yourself that these poor girls are all fucked, and how does this fit in with the first one at all?
You know what? A part of me wanted to say: Oh, it was really good, but it was not such a huge surprise as the first one, so like any sequel it couldn’t live up to it…
Then my wife, lying in bed next to me, asked me why I kept scratching. And that’s when it dawned on me that it was a nervous tick, and I was so invested in this story that I actually had a little adrenaline rush going on there.
He just writes the story so damn well – it is so visual, and you feel like you are in some movie theatre watching this play out. There is so much tits and ass, but it stops being sexy when it becomes brutal. Best of all, this one was more extreme than the first one, but the story was totally independent from the first one.
Carl John Lee, if you ever read this review, please contact me, buddy – I need to read more of your work!
5 Brutal Sexploitation reels!!
07/16/2022
Dear Meat
By J. Snow
Emerge #7 – to showcase emerging talent in the horror genre, this is the seventh publication this year to feature someone you may not have heard of before but will hear about in the future.
DEAR MEAT by J. Snow is a post-apocalyptic story which paints a bleak picture of the future, where the world is overpopulated and food is scarce, yet it is still run by those who lack the morality to care for others as much as they do themselves. If political figures in the world today is popping up in your head right now, I’m right there with you.
I want to say as little as I can about this one, because there is so much happening, and you should discover it for yourself. It is not a feel-good story by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a story of survival. By any means necessary.
If you are familiar with the Jeffrey Caston FOOD stories, you might have a good idea of the type of atmosphere you are heading into.
I was really impressed with this one and I recommend it for all you fuckers who like their stories on the shaded side of grey.
5 STARS
7/09/2022
Plastic Monsters
by Daniel Volpe
There was a stand-up comedian (I can’t remember who it was, but I want to give him the recognition, so if you can help me, that would be great!) who once said – and this is not verbatim:
“You should absolutely get breast implants, ladies. Because your outside should show the world what you are inside. Fake.”
“When I go out into the world
I just don't like what I see
You could call it Paradise
But it looks just like Hell to me”
NEVER KNOW – Bad Omens
This book is a story that tackles body issues and the thought of beauty, as it is imprinted into little girls from a very young age. And I want to let you in on a little secret, ladies:
The people who make you think you are not good enough is too toxic to be in your life. Men or women who are so hung up on looks that it is the most important thing they are looking for, will eventually replace their ‘toy’ when a better looking one comes along. Shallowness will be there forever, and nothing you do will ever change that.
Not all men like huge breasts – although the media sure shows it that way. A natural look is often more attractive because it shows that person is not trying to pretend to be something they are not. And guess what – even perfect looks will go away someday. If it takes some men longer to realize it, that is on them, not you.
Wow, Mort, you sure talk a whole lotta shit without saying nothing about the book…
Here’s the thing:
It can be summed up in one sentence:
Pam wants to be perfect, and she will do anything to achieve it…anything!
Daniel Volpe is a tremendously talented writer. I have been following his work and I am waiting for that story that will eventually disappoint me because it is not as good as I hoped. This is not that story. In fact, right at the end (last page) I was still wondering if the end will disappoint me.
And immediately after, I sent him a message to tell him that ending was PERFECT!
Read this book. Read this author. Support him, because he will become a big name in the horror genre someday.
5 STARS!!!!!
07/09/2022
Try Again
by Wesley Southard
TRY AGAIN has a very interesting concept – hitting the reset button on a situation continuously, almost like a scary GROUNDHOG DAY. However, unlike the popular movie, time does not stop and the night progresses, it is only the people who resets.
Confused? Yip, it does sound rather confusing, I know. Robin had a bad incident at the gym and, heading home, she is still fuming when she arrives to find her dad a hostage during a home invasion. She wants to save him, but every time she tries to enter the house, she resets to her drive back home.
With the people inside the house who is holding her dad hostage knowing someone is trying to get in, will she be able to save her father even if she gets inside?
Look, huge kudo’s to Southard for putting a certain phrase on repeat to inform the reader about the reset without boring them. Also, well done in keeping the action going inside the loop. There is so much happening in a somewhat short space of time.
At the end of the day, this novella is good, and I can recommend it to horror fans in general. While gory in places, I don’t think this is Splatterpunk (I say this because I’ve heard a few rumors that people might think I only like extreme – rest assured, I love a good horror story. Period.) so there should be a really big audience for this up-and-coming talent.
4 STARS
07/02/2022
CHOCOLATEMAN
by Jonathan Butcher
So much sh1t…
There is some background I want to give before I start my review. I’ve talked to this author a few times and we get along really well. He asked me if I would read CHOCOLATEMAN and I turned him down. I can handle a lot of things, but Grossout is not something I like too much. While there is a place for it, it is just not really my thing.
Fast-forward a few months and I am reading the book (another long story, but not important). He told me I didn’t have to finish the book, just to give it a fair chance. I decided to push through.
And here are my thoughts:
Sh1t. Sh1t everywhere. If it takes you a few hours or a few days to finish this book, you will be thinking about sh1t all the time. But…is this story sh1t or THE sh1t? From the previous work I’ve read of this author, I can assure you of one thing, This guy can write. I mean he has some serious skills when it comes to this craft. It is just a pity that there is so much mention of choc-choc throughout.
And I will be completely honest with you:
At times, I thought it was becoming just a little too much. Oh no, don’t get me wrong, it is absolutely integral to this story – there is no other way he could have told it, but there’s just no getting away from it. Sh1t, sh1t, sh1t and, did I mention, sh1t? Sure, it is still a horror story – don’t think just because of the copious amounts of fecal matter that it is not scary…
But something really strange happened at around 80% through this story. Something just clicked in my head, and I started to view things from a different angle.
And, to help any future readers of this story out (without spoilers), I am going to share:
What if the feces in this story is a metaphor for some kind of vice or some kind of addiction?
And, for the sake of my point of view, I changed it in my mind so that every time he talked about sh1t (or choc-choc, if you will) I thought about alcohol. People who are alcoholics and suffer from the disease of alcoholism, what if this is actually what it does to them, to their families, to strangers and to others who suffer from the same affliction? Thinking back, if I think of it on this metaphorical level, I can even make sense of the things that has happened throughout the book. So, from that point of view, this is a brilliantly told story – with the shock value to make you think about it much deeper than you usually would. You can replace alcohol with drugs, or whatever you can wrap your head around that can destroy lives because of addiction. And then this story becomes something special…something more.
So, my opinion is this:
For a book I didn’t start to read with much enthusiasm, it turned out to be THE sh1t.
Or,
I could be totally wrong…maybe the author is just full of sh1t?
Heed this advice when you tackle this one – it may turn out to be so much more than you could have anticipated.
5 brown pudding emoji’s!
07/02/2022
The Survivors
by T.C. Weber
This author was unknown to me before this book and – confession – whenever I hear post-apocalyptic horror, I cross my fingers that there will not be any zombies in there. There are good zombie stories out there, but they are becoming rarer because the market was flooded for some years.
Good news – no zombies!
This tale takes place in a world where climate change has ruined life as we know it and merely surviving is a daily challenge. Although it doesn’t specify the date, our current generations are referred to as the “Vanished Ones”.
Lucy must protect her two children as their clan is forced from their home. In a world where daylight must be hidden from and small groups of survivors fight each other to the death, being without shelter is almost certain death. And the matriarch of their group, Lucy’s aunt, is a violent realist who will do whatever it takes to survive.
This is about as much info as I want to give you. The pace and writing were good, and the story was better than I expected. At times harsh and often horrific, I think the author managed to capture his version of this world very well.
The only complaint I have is that I had to backtrack twice because the environment I created in my head became inaccurate later in the story. I will save you the trouble of the first – It is not like WATERWORLD, where everything is under water, the story just starts in their home which is a little off- shore.
Really good story – harsher than I expected, but with reason. Enjoyed it a lot.
4.5 STARS
06/25/2022
Into the Pit
by Brian G. Berry
Have you ever stood in front of a pit, looked down into the darkness and wondered what every single person who has ever been in that situation has thought?
Namely: If I pee in there, will I hit something?
This story has nothing to do with those thoughts. However, I’m willing to bet any time you walk past any deep hole in the future that is the thought that will pop into your head.
You are welcome.
INTO THE PIT by Brian G. Berry is an interesting story, and there are two things that stands out to me.
But first, the story:
The Moonlight Butcher kidnaps children, kills their parents and feeds them to the thing in the pit. Or is it just a delusional madman whose mind is making excuses for the horrible deeds he is doing?
The two things I want to mention are these:
It warms the cockles of my heart to see someone developing as a writer. If you take his first published book – THE CHILD EATER – and you compare it to this one, there is a huge difference and the improvement as a storyteller is a beautiful thing to behold.
The other is that this guy does not hold back on the violence. The fact that the victims are children does not spare them from the cruelties this story has to offer, which firmly puts this firmly in the realm of extreme horror. Lots of blood and gore – so be warned.
A very solid 4 stars – closer to 4.5!
06/18/2022
The Cuck
by Aron Beauregard
When I was young and single, I was friends with someone I worked nightshift with. One night, we were talking about pick-up lines, and this is probably the best of them:
“You go up to a girl and ask her if she has a boyfriend. If she says Yes, you ask if he likes to watch.”
That one made me laugh my ass off. Of course, I don’t know if it would have worked – I never had the guts. No, not the line, just going up to a girl I didn’t know and starting a conversation. I was awkward back then. I’m still awkward now, but I’m also happily married and have made peace with the fact…
Anyway, THE CUCK by Aron Beauregard was something new for the author, since it takes place in the UK. All-in-all, I think he handled it pretty darn well. There wasn’t a single time I thought: Blimey, this bloke is blowin’ the lingo, innit?
Fuck off, I ain’t British, but in my country we are much closer to the Queen’s English than the American, so I would like to think that I have a fair idea of how they sound.
But, back to the book – take two horny guys, give them one drink too many and then send them on their way, with ads for sex workers all over the place. What do you think is going to happen?
Here’s a clue: there’s no knitting involved.
But someone wants to watch…
Aron takes his sadistic imagination and puts it to good use in this story where there are no guns but, boy oh boy, will there be violence. One scene in particular made me cross my legs rather lady-like.
So, yeah, not for sensitive readers, and Aron Beauregard is not the author you want to start with if you haven’t read extreme or Splatterpunk before. You can’t handle it…he WILL fuck you up.
5 mutilific stars!
06/18/2022
Parachute
by Holly Rae Garcia
Don’t know exactly why, but this cover spoke to me the moment I saw it. I have looked at it many
times over the last two weeks and I still can’t tell you why it drew me so much, but I’m glad it did.
Going into this, I just needed a break from the Splatterpunk/extreme horror scene. This cover
popped up on Amazon, I read the blurb and thought: Why the hell not?
Which means I’ve never heard of this author or story before.
PARACHUTE reads like an episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE. Or, if you are of a younger generation,
THE OUTER LIMITS. Or, if you are even younger still, BLACK MIRROR. And if you are too young to
know any of these, use your damn innernet to look it up, kid.
This story is about a teen called Angela Rodriguez, who just graduated high school. They head to an
abandoned elementary school, where they break in and discover an old gym parachute. When they
start playing a childhood game, things start to go off the rails. It gets interesting form there.
My thoughts on this story is that it was interesting. While it didn’t blow my mind, it was something
that kept my interest throughout and I am glad I gave it a shot. This is definitely an author I will have
to keep my eye on. The ending was right up my alley, and I am really glad Miss Garcia ended it this way.
Recommended to those who like their stories on the weirder side, but not to the point where you
can call it bizarro.
4 STARS
06/11/2022
If I Die Before I Wake
Tales of Savagery & Slaughter
Published by Sinister Smile Press
If I Die Before I Wake: Tales of Savagery and Slaughter is an anthology that just drew me in immediately. In fact, when I saw the cover, I reached out to find out if it would be possible to get an ARC of this, so I want to thank the person who made this happen.
I am REALLY glad I went with my gut on this one, because it sure as hell delivered. While not all of the stories were great, there wasn’t a single bad one. That in itself means Sinister Smile Press did a great job with their selection.
In this one it is all about revenge – so who can’t relate? And, since most of them do not have any supernatural elements, it makes it all the more realistic and scarier.
In OUTRUN THE WOLVES, we learn that it might not be a good idea to be rude to a psycho bitch.
In THIS FERTILE SOIL, we run into a superstition that just may be true.
In BUTCHER’S BLOCK, we look into the art scene and an urban legend of the macabre.
In PRECISION BODY WORKS, we discover an innovative way of making someone regret their actions.
In THEE MOST EXALTED POTENTATE OF LOVE, I made this note: Interesting Femme Fatale Fatale. You will have to read the story to find out why.
In PERCEPTO!, we discover that nothing can be quite as electrifying as a good movie theatre.
In UNCHAINED, two movies are referenced, one of which is KILL BILL and ………, but I want to keep that out of the review for fear of ruining the surprise.
In JUST A GIRL, we delve into a threesome with Gwen Stefani.
In THE LAST GIFT, there is an interesting angle on a WWII legend.
In MONKEY CAGE, well, let’s just leave it at this quote: “She’d seen THE HILLS HAVE EYES one too many times.”
Now, there are two stories I need to highlight in this collection, both from authors I don’t know.
I AM GODDESS by Tamika Thompson, which is the third story in this book, is probably the least gory of the lot, but it is possibly the best written one. Powerful – highly recommended.
FAMILY ANNIHILATOR by LP Hernandez, which is the very last story, blew me right the fuck away. This is the highlight – it just ticked all the boxes for my personal taste. Superb!
5 Stars!
06/11/2022
After the Burn
By Ronald Kelly
Do you know Ronald Kelly?
Soft-spoken Southern gentleman, likes to draw pictures, writes like a fuckin’ champion?
I recently discovered the metalcore band Bad Omens. I know what you’re thinking, and you may not be totally wrong, but you should give this song a listen:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouW_RCAI0sg
THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND shows you just how incredible this guy’s voice is. The range? Insane! I’ve even watched a few reaction videos and some of them made me smile – they knew the previous, hard music. So, when this guy comes with this high, soft voice, with a slow – almost gentle – song, a lot of them said: “I don’t know what is happening right now…”
Go ahead, give it a go. Don’t let the word ‘metal’ put you off. The production is absolutely out of this world – it is so dark, while being so light, it is heavy, while being so soft. There’s a brilliance in there, whether you like metal or not. The music video speaks to me on so many levels as well.
And when he gets angry, oh boy, that damn range!
So, why am I talking about music while reviewing this book?
Well, Ronald Kelly’s book – AFTER THE BURN – reminds me of that song on an emotional level. There are times where you can’t believe how dark this gentleman will go. His writing is beautiful - it is so dark, while being so light, it is heavy, while being so soft…where have I heard those words before?
These six short stories and two novellas takes place in the same world; a post-apocalyptic world, where the nukes exploded, and humanity is all but done. Yet these stories are so diverse – from the silly fun of TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS to the heartbreakingly beautiful MEAT IS LIFE to the extreme Splatterpunk story of A SHINY CAN OF WHUP-ASS, this collection has something any horror fan can dig his or her teeth into, even if it is not filed to sharp points…
If you are a fan of this author, you know what to expect. If you haven’t read him yet, you are in for a treat.
Highly recommended to all horror fans.
5 STARS!
05/28/2022
DEATHLESS
by Jeff Strand
I’m actually glad I waited a little before I wrote this review, because now I can say this is the sequel to the book PRESSURE by BRAM STOKER AWARD WINNING AUTHOR Jeff Strand!
I have never made a secret of the fact that I am a huge fan of this writer. I absolutely loves the way he can bring humor to stories that are still considered splatterpunk and extreme horror. And the win is a validation that is long overdue.
So now that I got that fangirling out of the way, back to the story at hand.
PRESSURE is probably one of his darkest stories. And since I don’t want to give away too much for those who want to (and should) read it, let’s just say Alex Fletcher befriends Darren Rust, who turns out to be a psychotic serial killer – and thinks that Alex might be his soulmate. But, since Alex is just a normal guy, the feeling is not mutual.
And Darren pretty much fucks up his life from there.
In DEATHLESS, Alex is just trying to take it day to day and survive as best he could. And there may be a ray of sunshine heading his way when he meets Luna Booth. She is a spectacular person who is willing to accept him as he is and won’t judge him for his past.
But is she too good to be true?
Get ready for round two…
*** *** ***
I have to say, I didn’t think Strand could match the darkness of the first book, but I was wrong. There are two places in this book that goes very fucking dark, where I thought to myself that he was pushing boundaries for the things he would usually write. But that just goes to show how well he writes these characters – you, as the reader, are truly invested in their lives.
Recommended to horror fans who can stomach a really dark story brilliantly written.
5 STARS
05/28/2022
Twenty Years Dead
by Richard Farren Barber
So, this is what they call ‘quiet horror’.
The idea is really original – people who die will rise twenty years later, for a brief moment, before they pass permanently. This is not a zombie story – thank goodness – and it doesn’t have any elements of the apocalypse. Phew!
Dave will get one final chance to find out why his father had abandoned him and his mother before his death. But will he find the answers he is looking for?
Here are the good things about the story:
From a psychological point of view, this is a study in family, relationships, humanity and character, and how the past can ultimately define what we become in the future. On an emotional level, this short story delves into a lot of issues.
Here are the bad things about this story:
This is NOT a horror story, in my opinion. While it did have some supernatural elements, it is background noise, and there was nothing I found scary or surprising enough to give me the jolt of excitement I was looking for.
Since I was biased going into this one – expecting a horror story – and felt disappointed when it was over, it took me a day to realize that it was not a BAD story.
So, I will not try to convince you to pass this one. Instead, I will say that the horror fans who likes their gore and the adrenaline rush, you are not going to get it with this one.
I think it should be read by those whose stories must be driven by emotion and a soft, eerie atmosphere, where the resolution holds all the power of the read.
3.5 stars
05/21/2022
Visceral 2
By Patrick C. Harrison, III & Daniel J. Volpe
Eight brutal stories that will push your limits and the boundaries of decency.
Shit, who are we trying to kid here? Decency has left the building a long time ago. If you look really hard in the rearview mirror, you’ll be able to see…nothing. It’s just not there, man.
So, I think six of these stories were great, one was good, and one made me tap out.
Patrick Harrison III (or PC3 to the slow typists) is a fairly well known in the indie horror community as a writer, editor and co-owner of Death’s Head Press publishers. He did the first VISCERAL with Christine Morgan and he is probably best known for his Western Splatter book A SAVAGE BREED, CERBERUS RISING and CERBERUS EXPLOITATION, as well as numerous stories in anthologies. If you have read anything by him, you will know this guy is not the type of kitty you take on without gloves…and a loaded .44 Remington Magnum…and a diaper, just in case. Whenever I read his stories, I always feel like he’s figured out the strengths in his writing and he writes to them.
Daniel J. Volpe is one of the up-and-coming superstars in the business. His debut, BILLY SILVER, put him on the map immediately, and I have not read a bad story by him yet. TALIA, A GIFT OF DEATH and ONLY PSYCHOS are all stories that have a rating above 4.35 on Goodreads, but his book LEFT TO YOU proved something that I have felt for a long time. Of all the authors I know, he probably has the most natural talent for writing. He also has the potential to bring new readers to the extreme horror genre and, more importantly, may be able to transition to mainstream appeal in horror writing. Unless something severe happens, I can’t imagine how he will not be a legend in the genre someday. To top it all off, he’s just a super nice guy who is approachable, so go for it.
Okay, the stories are all brutal, as I have already stated, but I am not going to rehash them here. They make you uncomfortable, they make you cringe, and they may even be able to make you cry. So, heed this warning – this is extreme horror people.
There is one story I need to say something more about:
FIRECRACKER KINGS
I know my limits – I can’t do animal torture. I can’t detach enough and the mental images not only makes me sad, but I get nightmares from them. Literally – nightmares.
Now, in this genre you do come across it from time to time. As most readers of this genre (and all the other morbid fucks who are drawn to darker things) know, serial killers are known to start on animals and gradually progress to humans. Which means, sometimes it is necessary for the story. I can’t fault the authors who use this in their stories, if it fits with the characters and story, so I have decided not to penalize the authors with my rating because of it. However, I will end my review with a trigger warning.
TRIGGER WARNING: Animal torture in the story FIRECRACKER KINGS. I did not finish this story and therefore it had no bearing on my rating.
5 STARS
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05/21/2022
Something in the Groove
By Glenn Rolfe
Does every generation think their music was the greatest? You are allowed to, you know, because I’ve read somewhere that your music taste actually develops around the age of 12 or 13, into what you will prefer for the rest of your life.
So, my fellow 80’s children, we know our decade was simply the best when it comes to music. Toward the end of the decade, it was the very last time when you could hear pop/rock/reggae/soul/R&B and even some metal on the same chart. That’s right: Phil Collins to Guns N’ Roses to UB40 to Bette Midler to Billy Idol to The Beach Boys to Whitesnake to Rick Astley to…whatever the fuck you wanna call Bobby McFerrin’s music.
And that’s why we had such a broad choice of music that we knew and could choose from. Which is also why I could kick some serious ass with 80’s music trivia!
Any-hoo, this story is about a vinyl copy from the hard rock band, Bad Obsession. Extremely rare and perhaps even cursed, our favorite urban shaman Lee Buhl is back to track it down. And Rhiannon might also be there. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, I refer you to Rolfe’s first published book THE HAUNTED HALLS, and maybe even a short story in an anthology (I think it was WELCOME TO THE SHOW). However, this story works fine as a standalone.
So, the question will be: Can this record actually summon a demon?
** ** **
For those of you who don’t know Rolfe, here’s what I can say:
Not only is he a really good writer, but he is just a super nice person as well. As a reviewer, his method of ‘Kill them with kindness’ makes me feel like a shit if I have to leave a bad review – which has happened.
But I am elated to say that this one is probably my favorite from him. Whenever an author incorporates 80’s rock into their stories, I am immediately invested.
Let me share something from the book:
“He remembered a time not so long ago when he would have taken her to his room and treated her like a Def Leppard groupie beneath the stage, setting free his lust and need to feel in control.”
For those of you who don’t get that reference, allow me to explain:
In 1988 I was 12 going on 13, and it was the first time I heard the album called HYSTERIA by a band called Def Leppard. Up until then, I’d listened to mainstream music mostly. My brother borrowed the vinyl from a friend, and I ended up stealing it for a day to listen to it in my room when he wasn’t there.
THAT is the record that defined my musical taste. It blew my fragile little mind. I’d never heard anything so perfect in my entire life, and I’ve owned (and worn out) 4 copies of that album through the years.
Now, Def Leppard was probably the biggest band in the world for a little while. On tour with that album (the live video is called ‘In the Round, In your Face’) they would set up a circular stage in the middle of an arena and have fans all around them. During their breaks, band members would go beneath the stage, and there are legendary rumors of what happened down there. Only female fans were allowed, and admission was taking off their tops.
When I read that line, I felt kind of giddy because of the connection, and there was a moment where I paused and wondered if the book could actually live up to my expectations from there.
It did. I loved this one and recommend it to all horror fans – but the 80’s kids will get an extra kick from it.
5 STARS
05/07/2022
Survivor's Guilt
By Matt Shaw & Aron Beauregard
What do you get when you take two of the darkest, most twisted minds in the world, and combine them to create a single story?
This could go one of two ways, with very little middle ground. It will either live up to the high expectations and blow the readers away, or it will be a huge disappointment. No pressure, right guys?
Well, let’s look at the story.
Connie and Ray have survived traumatic events, but they still need help. Just not the kind of help you are thinking of. You see, most survivors go through intense feelings of guilt because they survived while others didn’t.
But humans are complex beings and not everybody looks at the world the same way. Which means the outcasts, even though they try to hide it from others, are drawn to each other.
And when they find each other…
I have read a lot of work by these two authors, and I can certainly vouch that their content is extreme to a degree where few others dare to go. But that also means that I have been looking forward to this one for months and expectations going into it has been high.
Here’s what I was worried about, though:
The Brit and the Yank have very different writing styles. Will it actually clash to the point of being distracting? Will their ideas gel and come out smooth, or will it be two distinct voices shouting over each other?
I am glad to say that they did gel very well, even though both stayed true to themselves. The ride is really good, and then we get to the halfway mark…
A lightbulb will go on in your head. The story becomes so obvious, and you think to yourself: Self, they are heading there. This can only end one way. I’m a bit disappointed to have figured it out this early.
Dear reader, have a little faith in these guys. They managed to twist this thing into something more than I thought it could be. And I have to congratulate them – this one did them proud.
Highly recommended to all extreme/splatterpunk horror fans.
5 Stars
4/30/2022
Faces of Beth
by Mort Stone
Hmm…so this is a Carver Pike you won’t expect.
Let’s get this out of the way. FACES OF BETH – the title is a about a character named Beth who suffers from a very rare skin disease called temulentusia, where the skin has these strange, glowing lines and, in direct sunlight, it gives the face this blurry appearance that makes it look like multiple faces on top of each other. You know, like when you’re drunk.
Hope that explains it.
I’m willing to bet you’ve just looked that up, didn’t you? And Google gives you a lot of stuff you can’t read, right?
Let me put you out of your misery.
Google temulentus.
That’s right, I’ve just made that shit up.
Beth is actually a very complicated woman. She’s got psychological problems. But Andrew loves her. So, he marries her and moves her entire family into his house. Now, I need to backtrack here for those who think no man would ever do that.
The male ego is a sum-bitch. A lot of men think they can handle anything. I will try to explain like this:
In the movie ZOMBIELAND 2, there is this scene where the girl brings all her luggage to the car, while one of their rules is to travel light, so to get things going, Woody Harrelson’s character says he’ll load it up. So he waits for the girl to get in the car, gives it a couple of seconds, then slams the trunk shut, and they leave leaving all her luggage behind.
And that sums up what a lot of men THINK – they can leave the girl’s luggage behind.
Only, it doesn’t work like that.
Next thing you know, you’re like the guy who has to get all the Kardashian luggage at the airport.
So, Andrew has become an instant father, brother-in-law and grandson-in-law. While it is exhausting, he loves Beth enough to accept it and adapt to the circumstances. For the most part, he even enjoys parts of it. Because family is family, after all. But, like any house of cards in a shit-storm, things can’t keep going at that pace.
Eventually, things will start to crumble, much like my attempt at cooking the perfect dinner will end up with an upside-down pot on the sauce-covered floor, with the cat licking it off the fridge door, and me sitting with my hand over my face. Or, as it’s known at my house, Thursday evening.
In the end, it will come down to the ultimate test of Andrew’s love for his wife and his love for his life. Because things are not always as they seem.
For some reason I keep thinking of this as the grown-up Carver Pike novel, because this is a straight up horror story – this does not fall in the extreme realm. And it also means that Carver should be able to broaden his readership with this story.
It was not perfect for my taste, but I also recognize the fact that the author actually achieved what he set out to do with this story. I can recommend this to most horror readers, especially the ones who are into possession stories.
5 Stars
4/23/2022
Man, Fuck This House!
By Brian Asman
Every now and then, a book’s title can grab you even more than the cover. Call me a dirty minded fella if you want, but any time I see the word ‘Fuck’ in a title, it gets my attention.
Enter, MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE.
I have read a few books by Brian Asman and I have enjoyed them all. Not only can this guy paint you an almost cinematic picture with his words, but he can make me laugh AND he’s not afraid to throw in the gore.
This is the most serious of his work that I’ve read, and it seems like he went for a solid horror story, but every now and again, the humor does slip through.
Eg.
“No one had direct knowledge of death except those who’d experienced it, and they remained famously tight-lipped about the whole thing.”
Well, you get a family that moves to a new house, which turns out to be haunted, yada-yada… But wait, there is a fresh angle to this one that made me forget all about AMITYVILLE HORROR, or POLTERGEIST, or PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, or INSIDIOUS, or THE CONJURING, or 1408, or CASPER…
It is not like any of the ones you are thinking about right now.
This is a study in family dynamics, when daddy is oblivious and mommy might just be a little mentally unhinged, where the teenage daughter is a good girl but her younger, genius brother might be either possessed or just plain fucking with mommy’s head…and don’t forget the house!
This book is a fresh take on a well-known story, and I enjoyed every moment of the ride. If you haven’t read Asman before, give this one a go. If you have, you will know you are going to get quality and value for money.
Highly recommended for all horror fans.
5 STARS
4/23/2022
Hardcore Kelli
by Wrath James White
So, apparently this Wrath James White guy is some kind of bad ass in the extreme horror world. It’s really tiring to hear about how bad this guy is and how scary that guy is, just because they think up these violent stories. I mean, look at him – how bad can he actually be?
Wait…what?
A boxer?
He’s the big guy?!
Well, fuck me, let me start over.
Ahem: Wrath James White is actually one of the guys in this genre who may be capable of the shit he thinks up – if you look at the size of him. But he would never. Why, just last night after we picked some sunflowers, we sat around a campfire and sang ‘Kumbaya’, right after knitting matching scarves and painting a white dove mural on a wall.
Okay, so I’ve never actually met the guy, per se, but I can tell we have a lot in common – we are just misunderstood, gentle souls. Think I’m lying? Watch this – two arms, two legs, one head, one torso. Granted, about three of me will fit inside his skin, but size doesn’t matter. Not if you’re as big as him, anyway.
But you want a book review. Fine!
Hardcore Kelli is a well-written, violent story…that would have worked better as a graphic novel. While this is the first thing I’ve read by Mr. White, I know him by reputation. And, having read this, I can tell you that he is very good at painting a vivid, gory picture.
As a writer, I can see why he has made a name for himself and I definitely want to read him again in the future. This story, though, comes at a time when I am totally sick of all the superhero bullshit. It is fucking everywhere, and my son is just getting into it at this stage, which means I can’t escape it.
While this book is not a superhero story, it is so very close to becoming one. And, in the end, because of the vivid descriptions, it became a little too much for my taste.
So, I am not going to slam this one. Right now, the market for this type of story might be bigger than for the average extreme book out there. Though not my personal taste, I can recognize the brilliant writing of this story, and I want to rate accordingly.
Highly recommended to those who like graphic novels and something with a superhero feel to it.
3.5 STARS
04/16/2022
A Bouquet of Viscera
by Bridgett Nelson
Overview from the book:
An overzealous vigilante, who sees her victims' auras, finds herself in a very uncomfortable situation. A young woman, injected with a microchip in a futuristic America, develops unusual and grisly cravings. Four high school graduates end up on the menu of a giant, mutant sea creature. Diary entries share shocking and disturbing confessions...but who is the author?
Review:
Wow!
Bridgett Nelson is a name that has popped up a lot lately, so my expectations were high going into this. How could it not be? Both Ronald Kelly (who did the foreword) and Jeff Strand (who did the blurb) endorsed this book – no small feat for a debut.
Well, most Indie authors write their first work and hope to get a foot in the door. Bridgett used another approach. She stormed through it like it was an old cowboy saloon with swinging doors, both hands fisted with a raised middle finger and screamed:
“Here I am, bitches, let’s get this party started!”
This does not read like a debut. It is well polished, clever, original and dynamic. Right off the bat, the story “Auras” shows you not only the strength of her writing, but just how clever she can be. There was not a single story that I felt was one dimensional and, while it might be clear she comes from a medical background, the ideas were vastly different.
I am willing to go all in with this author – don’t let the pretty smile fool ya, she’s got a twisted imagination and the writing skills to back it up. If she keeps at it, I predict she will become a name and force to be reckoned with in the industry.
BUT:
“Content Warning
A graphic, violent sexual assault is depicted in this story. It may not be suitable for all readers.”
That’s the way the story “Jinx” starts. You’d do well to heed that warning.
For those of you who may not be familiar with me, I read a lot of extreme and splatterpunk horror. I might be desensitized to certain things by now. But this story – and I am not saying this lightly – is the darkest short story I have ever read. In fact, currently it falls in the top 3 darkest STORIES I have ever read.
If you are familiar with either THE GIRL NEXT DOOR by Jack Ketchum or WHAT GOOD GIRLS DO by Jonathan Butcher, this one is right up there with them. It rips your insides to shreds and you feel not only sick afterwards but sickened.
I CAN NOT STATE THIS STRONGLY ENOUGH:
If you are not an extreme horror or splatterpunk fan, who’ve got some experience under your belt with the genre, DO NOT read this one. It WILL upset you. Fuck, I am seasoned, and it upset me. Don’t try to be a hero, it is not going to work. Just enjoy the rest of the book, because it is a great read.
5 STARS
04/09/2022
Gross Out
by Duncan Ralston
How do you follow up something like WOOM, which has become a cult classic as of late?
Well, you don’t try to rewrite it, for one, and you don’t try to out-gross or out-sick it, because the people will expect that. Any copy can never be as good as the original – if it exceeded expectations – and quality should outsell quantity.
In the writing business, which is damn hard anyway, there is nothing more valuable than a good reputation. Once you lose readers, the chances of getting them back is small to none. And for indie authors, word of mouth is worth more than gold.
Well, Duncan Ralston has navigated the minefield of possible mistakes with a new entry in the WOOM universe, and GROSS OUT is my favorite book of the year so far. While he actually toned down on the ‘gross’ factor (there’s still some things that might disgust you, don’t worry), the story is entertaining and hilarious.
The setting is an author convention called Splatterfest, for obvious reasons, and it builds to a climax during the Gross Out Contest at the end of the weekend. And you get all kinds of different characters – if any author sees themselves in these characters, it’s on you, not Ralston – who attends: Some are famous, some are struggling, most are insecure about SOMETHING, and nearly all of them have an agenda…revenge being one of the most prominent.
Which means only one thing: During the Gross Out Contest, the shit will hit the fan.
I absolutely LOVED this story. There is not a single thing that didn’t work for me – style, pace, humor, gore, emotion and even the romantic part. In fact, I think this story might be better than WOOM because it is so hugely entertaining.
I recommend this to ALL horror fans!
5 STARS!!!
04/09/2022
One Last Shindig
by Mark Towse
Would it be better or worse to be trapped on a tour bus with old people when the world comes to an end?
You have to give it to them: In order to reach the age they are, they have to be resilient, at the very least. Sure, they may be slow, loud, stubborn, and smell a little funny, but so are babies…and if you think about it, you don’t have to carry them everywhere or be judged a bad parent. That’s right, I said it. It doesn’t matter if the world comes to an end, some people will still be judgmental as fuck.
But these old geezers decided to make their final stand and have one last shindig – go out with style! Or will their years of experience actually pull them through what seems to be a hopeless situation?
*****
This story is fun and clever, with a few chuckles when you see someone you actually know in some of these characters. You are not going to figure this one out until the author is good and ready to reveal it.
The bonus novella: Watch Me Fly –
I have to admit, this one had me rolling on the floor. In a very pessimistic way, this might actually be exactly what it would be like to be a superhero in today’s world.
Overall, a very enjoyable read, though I think the bonus novella actually surpasses the main story in entertainment value.
A very solid 4 stars.
03/26/2022
Modern Hysteria
by Aron Beauregard
Aron Beauregard brings you another tale of depravity and gore that pushes the boundaries – as we’ve come to expect.
And in this one he addresses one of the modern problems to have reared its ugly head with technology – the internet and the anonymity it promises. For people of a certain age – those who grew up in the real world – the world is fast becoming a place we can’t possibly understand.
I saw a post the other day that said:
“Do y’all remember, before the internet, that people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information?
Yeah. It wasn’t that.”
And one of the biggest problems I can see in the world today is simple:
No accountability.
Without going political – what do you expect if you look at the so-called leaders in the world? They can lie, cheat, steal and simply deny, because who will hold them responsible? And with the things happening in Europe at the moment – I am stunned that people still refuse to believe what is shown to them. How fucking stupid are you?
Enough of that – sorry.
MODERN HYSTERIA is about ‘The Dropout Challenge’ – Beauregard’s version of something like ‘The Blue Whale Challenge’ – where desperate, lonely youths are brainwashed into self-harm and even suicide. (I can recommend the essay which is exclusively available in the hardcover edition of this story).
I am not going to rehash the story here – lots of brutal shit goes down – but I want to point out how the question is raised in this one of accountability. When I was a kid, if I disrespected someone or did something I shouldn’t (this includes common human decency), I got my ass kicked. There weren’t cameras all around to ‘protect’ me and I learned about respect. There was nothing to hide behind.
These days, people can say and do just about anything, because they have the ‘right’? Bullshit! We are doing more harm than good. If a kid calls an adult an asshole because they couldn’t get their way, they need to be taught how the world really works. I’m not saying beat them to death (almost certainly not), but if they are not held accountable, they will only get worse. What will demotivate them?
And the most surprising thing I learned was that there are actually no laws that protect people from this kind of online abuse. Even if they find the person responsible for one of these ‘challenges’ where people lose their life, they can’t be held directly responsible because…
Like I said – the world is turning into a place I don’t understand. As a parent, it is scary to think that my child might someday be susceptible to this, and even scarier to think of the things I can’t even imagine that will come across his path.
Are we really heading in the right direction or are we producing the kind of humans that will be the downfall of humanity? I guess only time will tell.
Great story, from a great storyteller.
5 Stars!
03/26/2022
The Clown Hunt
by Judith Sonnet
Does anybody really like clowns?
I have this traumatic memory from when I was a child. Big crazy hair, tons of make-up and colorful clothes. You see, Aunt Edna was what they called eccentric, and I was too young to remember much beyond the family gatherings where she would lube her lips up with her tongue before she bent you over like a stapler, planting a gross kiss on your mouth.
Do I associate her with clowns? I don’t know. All I know is that clowns have always made me uncomfortable. Grown ass people disguising themselves to be among kids is just not something I get.
Well, there are others who don’t like clowns. Much more than me. In fact, there are even some that abducted clowns for the sole purpose of hunting, torturing and killing them. Do they deserve it? Well, maybe not – I mean, if you knew the clown personally, it might be a whole different story, but violence is never the answer.
Until it is.
Sonnet has written a very good extreme story here. But don’t write her off as someone who tries to shock people because she lacks the skills to write well. This lady has got talent, and she does some serious character development before the shit truly hits the fan.
And, it is quite clear to see how she was inspired by Jon Athan and Aron Beauregard on the brutality scale as well.
Now, I will address this in this review, simply because people can be total assholes. The main character is gay, but this is not the kind of story that pushes a political agenda. This is an extreme horror story, regardless of the background. And in this community, most readers are much more open to differences - as long as the story delivers what it promises. Don’t allow prejudice to ruin the experience, because this author will surprise you.
4 Brutal stars!
03/19/2022
Haunt of Southern Fried Fear
by Ronald Kelly
Man, it has been a while since I’ve read one of these types of horror books.
Ghost stories.
Where the author doesn’t try to scare you to death, but creates this eerie atmosphere.
And even though Ronald Kelly won a splatterpunk award last year, nothing about this falls into the extreme or splatterpunk categories. This is straight-up make you uncomfortable horror. And for the few horror readers who doesn’t know Mr. Kelly’s work – he does it damn well.
So what scares you – other than ghosts? Scarecrows…rollercoasters…clowns…dolls…spiders…drains…being chased by a light in a dark tunnel? Do you perhaps suffer from lygophobia?
Can we cover ghost hunting, slavery, a sawmill, prison, a wooden horse, a furnace, a mine, Vanilla Musk and lots of other things with the central theme being ghosts and hauntings? Why, yes. Yes, we can…and we will.
As a constant reader, I know there are many skills that can be developed by writers who hone their craft through the years. However, there are only a few who has this natural talent for telling a story in a way that puts you THERE.
I read my first Stephen King book in 1988. I can still tell you most of what happens in that story. And while I have never been in Bangor, Maine, or even the USA, I was always THERE in his stories. Like it was a part of my life that I had lived. Ronald Kelly does the same with his Southern stories. I have never shucked corn, been to a barn dance or done any square dancing, nor have I chewed tobacco. I have never said things like “homemade fixings” or “I don’t rightly know”. But in this collection of stories, I was THERE. I was a part of it.
Hell, who else can use the phrase “…to be a doctor or lawyer or such,” with a straight face without quoting the song?
I can recommend this book to horror readers who enjoy atmosphere above gore, and even to some who might not be into horror but appreciates a story well written.
5 Laid-back Southern Stars!
03/19/2022
Restless Void
Lucas Mangum
RESTLESS VOID is the second book in the planned three-part DIGITAL DARKNESS series, where Lucas Mangum is pulling some of his previous work into the same universe.
The best description I can think of is that this is a techno horror – let’s say THE MATRIX with a supernatural element. It’s a little hard for me to rate it on an ‘extreme’ scale, though – THE GODS OF THE DARK WEB had such a shockingly sick scene – still one of the top five sickest scenes I’ve read – that this entry feels much tamer in comparison.
What has become quite clear is that Mr. Mangum has evolved a lot as a writer since his first published book and can start relying more on the strength of the story and his writing skill rather than pushing the splatter side.
So, in this story:
Tanya is a vlogger.
Okay, for those of you who are a certain age, allow me to explain. A vlogger is someone who makes video blogs and posts it on the internet. These are the people who has the looks and charisma to appear on camera, so they provide content – either created by themselves or clever people who lacks the first two qualities – for fans all over the world.
As a side note, I just need to add that most of the youth today THINK they have it, so there are millions of vloggers out there, which means you can get the biggest shit your fragile little mind never even considered to be taken as fact. There are, however, some who knows what they are doing. And Tanya is one of the latter.
She has a show on mysterious disappearances. And a chance meeting with a stranger sends her down a rabbit whole where the consequences are dire and escape might be impossible.
And that’s where I am going to stop. You are on your own from there.
My thoughts on this story is that it is very well written and the people who loves techno will devour this. However, there are two things I need to point out.
The first is that this should be read in order. If you haven’t read the first book, you will more than likely become totally lost in this strange, upside down world.
The second is that this story has a complexity that needs your full attention. If your mind drifts for two pages, you will be lost and will have to backtrack to catch up again.
Overall, a really good book, which should tie together the series.
4 Solid Stars
03/05/2022
Only Psychos
by Daniel Volpe
“I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time
For the wrong reasons and the wrong rhyme
On the wrong day of the wrong week
I used the wrong method with the wrong technique.”
WRONG – Depeche Mode
That song kept running through my head as I read the latest offering by Daniel J. Volpe – ONLY PSYCHOS. Many different characters will come together during a snowstorm to create, well, this cuckery.
Think of it this way: It is an amalgamation of bad people, with bad habits and bad intentions, in a bad place, with bad karma, on a bad night, with bad consequences.
Good night!
The mother who is trying to protect her children, the teenagers who became porn stars, the serial killer, the guy on the run, the sick family with dark secrets…all make for a wonderful Christmas movie for the whole family to enjoy in the middle of the night –
Riiiigggghhhhht.
My personal preference when it comes to horror is usually the non-supernatural kind, where the people are the real monsters and shit just gets as real as it possibly can. Volpe delivers this in spades in this semi-claustrophobic tale of chaos and slaughter, where nobody is safe and survival is not guaranteed.
Splatterpunk at its very best!
5 STARS
03/05/2022
The Night Road
by Kevin Lucia
Have you heard about ‘runner’s high’?
Apparently, there are some people who experience a high when they are running. Me? Not so much. I ran long distance when I was a kid. Had asthma and the doctor recommended it to my parents. Of course, I didn’t want to, but I wasn’t given a choice.
I did this for about three years, at least twice a week. Never got that high. Sometimes it makes me wonder what is wrong with me, other times I think it’s a form of self-hypnosis. You manage to convince yourself that something is what you want it to be. Like those who tell me about ‘delicious broccoli’…
Anyway, Kevin Lucia is a clean writer, you can see he takes his craft seriously and does his job well. Unfortunately, I couldn’t relate to the main character in this story. A female runner. The story is not bad at all, I just felt disconnected. Which is also a little strange. I have lost people close to me and I have felt guilt and sorrow, so that part spoke to me, but the way she acted was more of an intellectual exercise for me.
Which leaves me in a bit of a bind. How do I rate this one?
While there is a very strong message in this one and the story was well written, the fact that I couldn’t relate to the character made me want to feel more than I actually felt. And there will be people who will be sucked in and broken by this, there is no doubt in my mind that this one will have impact on the right audience.
So, I am going to push it up from 3 stars (my opinion) to 4 stars, simply because I want to recommend this to those who like the feels in their horror. It will devastate some and I can recognize the power of the story.
Also, I will be reading this author again in the future.
4 Stars
2/26/2022
Reincarnage
by Ryan Harding & Jason Taverner
Slasher horror is impactful, balls to the wall blood and gore, high energy carnage. Sadly, if you’ve read enough of these stories, the impact fades and it can become predictable. So, when you come across something that feels original, it brings back the excitement and love of the horror genre.
REINCARNAGE by Ryan Harding and Jason Taverner gets a re-incarnation from Death’s Head Press, and it brings something different to the table. Instead of a nameless killer surprising unsuspecting victims, all the information is out there in the open.
Everyone knows Agent Orange is the killer and everyone knows they are being hunted. Everyone knows he is not human and everyone knows that, while he can be killed, he will come back to continue his destruction.
And when a group of strangers wakes up in the Kill Zone – a section cordoned off from the public and meant to keep the killer inside by the government – the only thing they should be worried about is trying to survive. They do not know why they were chosen, but they will have to do everything in their power to survive long enough to be extracted from the area.
But will they be extracted? Couldn’t it be the government who’ve put them there in the first place, for some kind of secret experiment? If help wasn’t coming, was there any hope of survival? Could they kill Agent Orange themselves?
This book is one very long adrenaline rush. The action is non-stop, the kills are brutal and the descriptions vivid.
You have to like your horror extreme to get through this one, but fans will enjoy the ride.
5 STARS
02/19/2022
Road Kill Anthology
Texas Horror by Texas Writers, V6
I have a confession to make.
When I got ROAD KILL to read for a review, I gave an internal sigh and thought of it as homework. The cover does less than nothing for me – an avid horror reader – and it looked kind of childish. Then I opened it to see how many of the writers I knew.
Three. Out of seventeen.
Another internal sigh. This was clearly a case of some unknown writers who got the opportunity to be in an anthology with a few known ones, and they were all hoping the bigger names will be enough to sell well. Don’t get me wrong, I support unknown authors all the time, but in a lot of cases the work is not always as polished as it should be.
Then some unplanned work came my way and I pushed it aside.
Later, when my schedule was cleared, I decided I had to go back to this one – I hate making commitments I can’t keep. I did not give another internal sigh, because that would just make me a drama queen. However, I went into this one expecting to feel like I’m wasting my time.
Well, indie horror readers should probably know Patrick Harrison III, Stephen Graham Jones and Jeremy Hepler – if they haven’t read them, they’ve most likely come across the names a few times. And, as expected, the three of them had very solid stories.
However, with the first story – THE TEETH by Jacklyn Baker – I got sucked in and by the end of it, she’d knocked the teeth out of my disinterest by curb-stomping my preconception. That story kicked ass! And the more I read, the more impressed I became. These authors are not beginners by a long shot.
ROAD KILL is one of those “don’t-judge-a-book-by-it’s-cover” cases and I can tell you this one is worth your time. The stories are all either good or great, and more of them the latter. In fact, I want to highlight THE CHICKENS THAT ARE NOT HER CHICKENS by Mario E. Martinez as my favorite in this one.
Horror fans, do yourself a favor and look this one up. You can thank me later.
5 STARS
2/12/2022
Nightmare Nirvana
by Aron Beauregard
From the darkest corners of one of the darkest minds working in extreme horror today, comes these scraps, morsels and crumbs of depravity to blow you away.
NIGHTMARE NIRVANA is a homage to dark thoughts, sinister intentions and macabre situations, and if you know Mr. Beauregard by now, you can expect the usual dark art to accompany these 18 stories of morbid scenarios.
What is worse: Going to the gyne or the dentist?
What’s more difficult to bake: The perfect pie or a baby?
Which job is harder: Magician, truck driver, mechanic or stripper?
Are you a hero or a shitter? And which is worse off?
How fake is professional wrestling?
So many questions, and the author will answer them unapologetically. It may not be what you want to hear, and it certainly will not be what you expect – but that’s why we buy this guy’s books, isn’t it?
To the many whose attraction and fascination with the darker side of life gets frowned upon by those deemed ‘normal’ by society…welcome to Nirvana!
Recommended to extreme and splatterpunk fans.
5 STARS
02/05/2022
Bradonomicon
Published by Potter's Grove Press
Brad Tierney.
Who?
There may not be a lot of people in the world who knows the name – before this book, of course – but in the small community of splatterpunk and extreme horror, he’s become the number one fan.
Yes, that is actually his face on the cover. But if you think he’s a big, old teddy bear because he is so hairy and his eyes are so docile, you are sorely mistaken. He’s probably high as fuck right now, which gives him that gentle look. And his taste in reading material can be downright brutal! But, guys and girls, I enjoy this guy because he is funny as hell.
I don’t know Brad well, but we do communicate from time to time on social media. On New Year’s Eve, I sent a recorded message of my son wishing everybody a happy New Year to a few of my FB friends. This was Brad’s response (verbatim):
“WOOT, Hey little dude! Thanks! To celebrate the new year, hide your dad’s wallet & keys! It’s HILARIOUS.”
And that about sums up the character of the man on which this great honor has been bestowed.
Which brings me to my next thought:
How fucking awesome is this? The authors in this anthology is either well established or rising Indie authors. They dedicated HOURS of their busy lives and full schedules to this – to thank a SINGLE fan of their work. Can you think of any other place in the world where this could happen?
As I mentioned before, it is a small community. And we have some fucking weirdo’s, believe you me. You wouldn’t invite The Professor to a yoga class. Or McHardy and Hawker to your next orgy – hey, you just know those guys will show up with a spatula and a Sudoku puzzle, and an inventive way to use them…
But here’s the thing: Most of us are open minded and ACCEPTS others with their quirks. Extreme is all about pushing boundaries, so you have to have the right mentality to want to explore it. We are not all Black Metal, blood drinking, masochistic sex fiends (I can’t speak for Bedlam…), but we won’t judge you if you are.
For the judgmental types who are reading this, it was a joke, I like Elizabeth a lot…and don’t judge her at all…;)
So, to all the authors who participated in this anthology, you did something incredible – and most of you are super people!
The stories:
Well, you can go from Werewolf to Wendigo within a few pages, the gross-out kings might surprise you by not grossing you out, but Caffery will – with a smile on your face. You might even find a Mad Max/Hunger Games/Texas Chainsaw Massacre combination which works surprisingly well.
I will be honest and say there are two stories which didn’t do it for me, but that still leaves about 85% motivation to buy and read this one.
I want to end this with the highlight of this anthology for me:
The Narrow Path by River Dixon.
For those who don’t know this author, he has the heart of a poet. More important, though, he has the skill to back up his writing. It is nearly impossible to describe how he manages to tell you exactly what happened without giving you any details. And due to the heavy subject matter, I think it is one of the most brutal psychological horror shorts I have read in a long time. This story alone is worth the price of this anthology.
Recommended to the extreme/splatterpunk crowd – you know who you are, you sick fucks!
4.5 STARS
01/22/2022
Mastodon
by Steve Stred
We humans sure like to experiment, don’t we?
We were given a natural curiosity and a brain capacity to try to understand, improve, evolve…despite our best efforts to destroy it with reality television.
Have you ever sat back and wondered: How in the world did they come up with that? Who thinks like that? Was it an accident or not? Will we ever be able to improve on it?
Here’s a hypothetical:
So, the lady of the house is mad at her husband for seeming to enjoy milking the cow a little too much, so she takes the ‘flowers’ he brought as a peace offering and beats them repeatedly until they are mostly just a powder. Now, I’m not here to speculate whether he’d brought her rye or wheat, but it does seem rather coincidental that, in its powdered form, it is referred to as flower (flour), isn’t it?
So, the man is angry at his wife, but he’d witnessed the skill with which she’d swung that rock, so instead of beating her, he throws the extra rye bouquet he’d picked for her into a pot, already boiling with water and some other stuff she’d added for the broth, and then he forgets about it. Days later she discovers it and with spite in her heart serves it to him as a drink, but instead of not liking it, he drinks it all.
And then he accused her of being a lycanthrope, and she knows he must be drunk because he didn’t use the word ‘werewolf’, which would suit his normal vocabulary, and then…
Okay, I have no idea how beer is really made, but who knows how it began, right?
Where am I going with this?
Well, Tyler’s dad is in a plane crash, the same place where his mother had disappeared 17 years ago and presumed dead. But the military won’t allow anybody to search for him in this restricted area. Why?
Well, that’s the ten-million-dollar question, isn’t it?
The only way to search for his dad would be to go rogue, but will he be able to deal with what is waiting on the other side?
Well, this is advertised as a creature feature kind of story, but what exactly are these creatures? Where do they come from? Is this an Area 51 situation? Are we experimenting on aliens? Are aliens experimenting on us? Have we opened a gateway to another dimension? Or maybe right into the bowls of hell? Is this whole review a misdirection?
Look, those who’ve read Steve Stred before will know he is a solid writer. Those who haven’t will find out soon enough.
The story is really good, and I do think it is better for the readers to go into this one a little blind. It is strong enough to draw a wider audience than just the ‘creature feature’ crowd.
Mort's Final Report= 4.5 stars
01/15/2022
Fallout From Our Asphalt Hell
by Gabriel Hart
This is my introduction to Gabriel Hart: twenty horror short stories called FALLOUT FROM OUR ASPHALT HELL.
It is a quick read – the stories are not very long, and you can breeze through some during tea breaks at work, clocking in at 178 pages for Kindle.
The one thing that absolutely shines is the diversity of the stories – thematically they are cover so many different subjects. From satanic panic to the end of the world scenarios, from war heroes to transgender struggles, from animals to humans to aliens – and mostly scratching the surface of humanity and our ever-changing cultures which doesn’t always involve in the right way. Through it all there is always just a hint of humor.
The stand-out story in this collection has to be DEAR DIANA RANSWELL (MOM) – this one ticked all the boxes for my tastes, and I loved everything about the story, pace and ending.
My criticism:
These stories were written over a period of time and sometimes it showed. The author has definitely grown and gotten better through the years, but it shows in some of the stories. I felt just a little unbalanced by the quality of writing varying between some stories.
The other thing I want to mention – for both the author and the reader – is to skip the introduction. An author telling you about all the inspirations etc. before the stories are read is not a good idea. The reader still has to decide whether they like the stories or not – if they are interested in finding out more, then it is a really good option to have…afterward. So, readers, by all means, skip it until you’re done, then go back to it if you want.
Mort's Final Report= 4 STARS
01/15/2022
Fearless
by Ashley Lister
While the cover didn’t impress me all that much, this story by Ashley Lister exceeded expectations. It was the first time I’ve read this author and I am impressed, to some extent.
What would you do if you lost all fear? Would you doodle in the margins of a library book? Go to bed without brushing your teeth? Fart loudly in the elevator? Eat sushi for the first time?
Or would it be more than that? Perhaps tell the boss exactly what you think of him? Drive over the speed limit when you have unpaid parking tickets? Tell your wife her ravioli tastes like asshole? Try to traverse a high building where, should you fall, death is a certainty?
The story takes place on a campus where illegal experiments have been conducted for years on humans without their knowledge and consent. And after an assault is foiled by Doctor Ellie Green, things will spiral out of control for more than one person on campus.
I enjoyed this story a lot, but more for the entertainment value of the story. While some of the situations seemed a little conveniently set up to suit the overall idea of the story and some things just seems unlikely, the idea is a good one. My biggest issue is that the supernatural element didn’t contribute anything of value. In fact, I think this story could have been better advertised as a thriller if that element was missing altogether.
Recommended to those who seek entertainment in a short-ish read.
Mort's Final Report= 3.5 STARS
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01/08/2022
Mort Report Extra Feature:
Film Review
Single Location Horror
‘Visually spectacular’ is one of the terms that come to mind when you think about horror movies. While it doesn’t always have to include lots of gore, the movement and clever camera angles can enhance the fear factor horror lovers are always looking for.
But take away most of the movement and things can be a little challenging. There are some single location movies – where probably 90% or more of the movie takes place in a single location – that are very popular. But, if you think THE SHINING, it was a big hotel. THE MIST – grocery store. DON’T BREATHE, PANIC ROOM, THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, EVIL DEAD, THE STRANGERS, MISERY and PARANORMAL ACTIVITY – houses with multiple rooms.
However, when your single location is only one room, you need a damn good director and even better story to hold the audience’s attention. This was brilliantly done in movies such as CUJO, GERALD’S GAME, DEVIL and one of my favorite movies of all time, SAW.
Which brings me to the movie I’ve just watched – WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
When a dysfunctional family of four gets trapped in a bathroom during a tornado, some secrets will come to the surface that have been buried too long. No, it is not a fucking zombie movie, damnit!
This movie is based on a novella (and the screenplay was also written) by Max Booth III, also titled WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
And for all the horror readers out there, if you don’t know who Max Booth III is, I am about to introduce you to one of the up-and-coming superstars in the horror community.
Look, this movie had a very small budget – the special effects are not the best you’ll see – but I will be damned if the story doesn’t make up for it. This one is actually scary, people.
And, where else will you hear the line:
“Snakes are just bats that can’t fly!”
So, check out the movie – I adored the ending – and share with your friends. Who knows, maybe someday enough people will check it out to make Max Booth III a name to be reckoned with in the industry – he is well on his way already.
And, yes, the book is better…
Book Cover for We Need to Do Something
by Max Booth, III
01/08/2022
Krae
by Tim Eagle
Hyperosmia.
I won’t blame you if you’ve never heard of the term before.
You know when you yawn and others who see you start yawning as well? They say the original yawner creates this air disruption that others breathe in, and the only way to balance it out in your brain is to yawn as well.
Of course, this has nothing to do with the term or this story, it’s just an interesting fact I wanted to share.
Hyperosmia is a condition where the sense of smell is overly developed. You know how a dog can smell fear and things like that? Like that, but since you’re human, the protein in shit actually still stinks – even worse, in fact.
Our main character in this story, Krae, is a sensitive who suffers from this. And this is the part where I must tell you what happens in the story, but I actually can’t, because I will give something away that I don’t want to. My advice is to go into this one blind – it has to do with a supernatural element of Dutch folklore.
There are some things in this tale I’ve never heard of before and it does make for some interesting reading, but there are two things that bother me. Neither are deal breakers, though, so there will be an audience who will love it and I can recommend it to them.
The first is that the story could have been fleshed out a little more. While I am a huge fan of less is more, there were some things that isn’t explained enough to my satisfaction. Again, this is difficult without giving anything away, but one example is the relationship between Beatrice and Angela toward the end. What is the connection? Also, while I did look up the name Krae (and it actually exists), I’m not completely sure what the connection to crows are. In Dutch, ‘crow’ is ‘kraai’ (which is pronounced ‘cry’ in English) – so is this some kind of loose connection to that word?
The second is, about halfway through the book and during the conversation between Krae and Beatrice, the author gives too much away. From that point forward, I knew exactly where the story was headed. This could have been intentional by the author, since we are dealing with a foreign myth, but I want to be surprised – that’s just my personal taste.
I am not slamming this story, I’m just not 100% sure I was the right audience for it. I will recommend it to those who likes to learn about foreign, unknown mythologies.
Mort's Final Report: 3 STARS
01/01/2022
The Boy with the Spider-Face.
by AJ Franks
Prejudice vs. Tolerance.
This is a short-ish story that actually says a lot about society and the times we are living in.
Summary:
Jeff Pritchet is a normal boy in almost every sense, except for the fact that he his the face of a spider. As a teenager, he’s been a constant target of bullying by not only his peers, but adults as well. If there is one thing he has learned in his short life, it is that nothing is fair. When a transfer student arrives at his school, Jeff is shocked and elated to find the boy doesn’t look down on him like he is a freak, and for the first time in his life, he makes a friend. But nothing can be as simple as that.
His new friend, Aarav, is a foreigner, and Jeff is about to find out about his own parents’ biases. The bubble in which he has grown up is about to burst. The consequences will be dire.
Mort's Report:
We are all guilty of it in some way, shape or form. Preconceptions (which are often misconceptions) gives us an excuse to dismiss or ignore - and sometimes even fight – the things we don’t understand and, more often than not, fear. I grew up in apartheid South Africa. As a Caucasian male, it was easy to “hate” when you have nothing to do with others. This is not only reference to racism, but often sexism and all those other wonderful -isms. It took me a little more than 20 years before the bubble I grew up in finally burst – and it happened when I made my first black friend. We met during a pool game (and he beat me), and it finally dawned on me that he is not only a better person than me, but a better person than MOST.
I have not uttered a racist slur of any kind in more than 20 years, and I can only hope that will be the case for the rest of my life. There were some valuable lessons to learn. When I look back, I am stunned to see how different I thought as a child. And how much, so obvious to somebody on the outside looking in, I missed. I was never the most athletic, even though I am skinny. Add to that I am short and very pale – the sun hates me, my skin is either very white or painfully red. I lost myself in movies and television as a child, and later in books. I was also never very sociable.
During my youth, I was often called “gay” (I use the “ because I refuse to use the actual terms) because I was never a man’s man – and I often called others the same if they did something unmanly. I was often called weak or a coward because I was never a fighter and avoided confrontation whenever I could. I was often called lots of different things – one of my nicknames before my teens was Landing Flaps because my ears were so big (they still are, but my head grew into them a little more). Today I can laugh about it – it was quite original – but some people may be stunned to learn it was actually a teacher who gave me that nickname.
So, this is what I learned: There are good people and bad people, there are honest people and dishonest people, there are assholes, bitches, dicks and morons in every race, sexuality, religion, nationality and any other walk of life. In this broken world of ours, everyone deserves to be judged on merit. You don’t have to like everybody just because they are the ‘same’ as you, just like you don’t have to dislike those who are not.
This story carries that lesson loud and clear. My only criticism is that the characters felt a little cookie-cutter for the message, so there could have been a little more depth to some of the characters. Recommended for coming-of-age horror fans who likes the feels.
Mort's Final Report: 4 Stars.
Baker's Dozen
Reviewed by Mort Stone
“Good day, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the SICKEST BAKER SHOW, where the competition is fierce and oftentimes brutal. Let’s find out what their secret ingredients are today!
First up, we have Christine Morgan, you get…
JEALOUSY!
Chris Miller, yours is…
A CHEERLEADER MOM’S DIAMONDS!
Ruthann Jagge, you get…
A BLACK BIRD!
Jeff Strand, close your mouth and collect your…
DOGSHIT!
Aron Beauregard, you seem to be the lucky winner of…
BLINDING LIGHT!
Carver Pike, yours is…
SLUTTY BLUEBERRIES!
Patrick C. Harrison III, wow, I don’t know how you are going to use…
MEMORIES!
Lee Franklin, can you use…
FISHING BAIT!
Kenzie Jennings, you better watch out because yours is…
A CROCODILE!
Daniel Volpe, what in the world will you do with your combination of…
CINNAMON and FIRE!
Rowland Bercy Jr., you get…
A PLANT!
Candace Nola, you get…ooh, what an interesting combination this is…
JAMS and a “KAREN”!
Finally, Michael Ennebach, you get…well, what do you know…
A SCYTHE!
Bloodshed and carnage is encouraged, so I want a really dirty bake.
Contestants, are you ready? It doesn’t matter either way, because your time starts NOW!”
Candace Nola succeeded in putting together a very diverse and brilliant anthology. What I enjoyed the most is that not a single story was like any other, in either tone or substance, and I can honestly say there is not a single story in this one that I can call a weak link. Nor can I tell you my favorite.
While these stories are bloody, it only adds to the flavor. Some are straight-up horror, some are extreme, while the rest lies in-between. If you are a fan of any of these authors, this one is worth checking out, because it will widen your reading horizons if you are unfamiliar with some of them.
Five delicious pastry stars!
All Smiles Until I Return
Author: Aron Beauregard
Reviewed by Mort Stone
Is there life after death?
This is a question for many a debate – not only if your spirit will go on, but where it will go. What will happen?
There are different versions of heaven and hell, reincarnation, a higher spiritual realm and the one about the alien that will do something if you don’t believe in psychology or something – I really don’t care enough about this one to look into it – and others that might be even more obscure (at least to me).
And what is hell? Is it a generalized pit of fire where you burn for all eternity? Like DANTE’S INFERNO?
Or is it a more personal place where your worst fears come true and have to be experienced over and over again?
Spiders crawling over your face? Rats gnawing on your toes? Drowning over and over again? Being a cameraman for KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS? (That last one actually works with crappy karma for reincarnation too.)
So, nobody really knows, and if you want to be really optimistic and open to everything, throw them all together and you might get to something like this:
We are actually aliens. Every time we die, we get reincarnated on another planet. The sun is a fireball, so it is only logical that every time we get reborn it is one planet closer to the sun.
We are on the third planet from the sun, people – time to take a long, hard look at yourself!
Look, I am not going to poke fun at someone’s belief system – I have one of my own – but I will say this:
As long as you leave this life having done more good than bad, I don’t really care if you believe something else. All I ask is to be treated well and I will do my best to return the favor.
Which brings us to this story – ALL SMILES UNTIL I RETURN.
This is a departure from the usual Aron Beauregard horror we are used to. This is a possible version of life after death and, although it might feel like it touches on philosophy, I took this story for purely fiction. And I will explain why.
For those of you who are not aware, I have been helping Aron this year with his stories – nothing major, just a check if all the T’s are crossed and all the I’s are dotted before the books are released. Aron indulges me this because I am a fan of his work and, since I believe he has the chops to be one of the big names in this genre, I always leave a review. By now, I consider him a friend.
Now, I make it clear to all authors that I cannot blow smoke up someone’s ass if I don’t believe in their product. When I review, I will mention if there were things that bothered me or criticism I pick up. There are those who accuse me of not writing bad reviews, but I have reached a point in my life where I prefer to NOT write a review at all if I don’t like the story. If it is possible, I try to contact the author and give feedback – which goes completely ignored most of the time. Sometimes it is met with anger – I have been accused this year of “not understanding” something I had a problem with. I have NOT reviewed six books this year (that I finished), and at least a dozen I’d abandoned.
Having read nearly everything Aron has released to date, I’ve come to expect that he will push boundaries and there will be something shocking/sickening to come. Having said that, though, I also have to mention that his books are story driven and doesn’t rely on shock value (torture-porn) to sell.
But there was one particular scene in this book that I was not prepared for. It shook me. It is, hands down, the scene that upset me the most – ever - that didn’t include animals. I had to put the book down for a little bit before I could continue.
And for the next 10% or so, I felt very negative about the story and the bleakness it portrayed. So much so that I told my wife I didn’t know what to tell Aron because I don’t think I can review this story!
Yet, I had to push through. And I am so glad I did. That Beauregard magic came through toward the end. Not only did he pull it together (at least, in my mind), but the essay at the end of the book (which you will only get with the hardcover!) gave me just a glimmer of insight I lacked going into this one.
I’ll be honest, this review is written a few weeks after I’ve read the story. I had to figure out what bothered me so much and how to put it in words, because this is not really a negative review, but it is as honest as I can be.
And here’s what I came up with:
Aron wrote a fiction story about life after death. This vision is so far removed from my idea of what life after death should be, it had upset me. That, added to the shock of that particular scene, put me in a place where everything felt confrontational toward my vision of the afterlife.
Hence: the author did nothing wrong. It is a FICTION story, for fuck’s sake. Get over yourself, Mort!
So, I want to say two things with my recommendation of this story:
- There is one very disturbing scene in this book, brace yourself, because I am not new to this genre and don’t shock easily.
- Prepare yourself for a very bleak, pessimistic journey. This theory is totally original (at least for me) and the philosophically minded might actually find some food for discussion with it.
And, because of that final statement, I do think this story will attract a wider audience than just the splatterpunk crowd, but it might just divide the readers afterwards.
